CompLeX sImpLicItY

Place that i might wanna visit~

2012-01-28T00:01:00.016+08:00

been having a serious thought of what to do with my own future lately..
im like all confused.... but i know in my heart, it's not enough just yet!
went n grab a magazine, n realize, there're a lot more of the places i wish to go~
n might gv u some ideas too =)

here they are~

Venice, Italy

Niagara Falls, Canada

Oaho, Hawaii

Monte Carlo, Principaut e de Monaco
Vienna, Austria

Edinburgh, Scotland

Mauritius

Jeju Island

Fiji Island
it looks super damn awesomely nice right???
always my first choice~ =)
IF, i have finally get a partner in life~

been thinking of where to spend my holiday this year~
probably, Japan??
Hokkaido!!!
n found some very interesting places,
Kinugawa,sth interesting,
Nikko
Tokyo..that could have make a trip =)

n n....look wat i've found!

La Montana Magica Lodge Huilo Huilo

Immersed in beautiful 120,000 hectares, in the Biological Reserve of Huilo - Huilo in recently create region named of the rivers in Chile, the amazing Lodge offers to their hosts the warmth of a very special service and extraordinary comforts.
Montana Magica Lodge in the middle of the native forest, will transfer you to a magical Earth place where the life still is developed to its natural rate.

It was constructed with a surprising architecture, noble materials and a delicate taken care of the nature. With beautiful rooms, excellent gastronomy, bar and a customized service for each visitor, you will be able to enjoy the propitious atmosphere for the rest of the body and soul.

La Montana Magica has a surprising waterfall that bathes all lodge and it fuses with the silence of the snow and the sound of rain in some days of the year.

Lodge has been constructed with noble materials of its surrounding, it has been incorporated to Neltume and Puerto Fuy communities, small mountainous towns, made with wood. In which details, like its furniture and sculptures, were a priority in its interior.

An extraordinary human equipment has made La Montana Magica a very special and unforgettable place.
In each corner you can feel love of every detail, also you can have an excellence service with a gastronomic variety.

hmm..................
bout 2 yrs ago, i chose dream over reality..
bout 2 yrs ago, i thought my dream came true
bout few weeks ago...i thought my dream had dried out, faded...
but truth is..a dream, always do stays as a dream~

travelling, is not just the scenery...
its a story to tell... is a story to share~
u may not need to be who u r, forget about where u come from..

may wanna quit some time ago bcuz i know i may hv mislead myself to another type of traveling...no story to tell, no ppl to go with, no one to share......
but i know, i needed it~ cause, i need to get rid of reality all the time, feeling fresh about things all the time..
sth, i wanna let go...but i know, mayb not yet....
but i dont wanna be someone who dont dare to explore the other things just bcuz i wanna keep what i hv for now~

finish the drama 我可能不会爱你~
think,it tells a lot of stories..some part of which, were some sort of my pasts..
hmm...
when will i, get to find someone who shares some similarities with me,
n someone whom regardless wats happening in this world, just wanna be simple n dont bother bout 'risks' in the future
someone......... who understand me..
someone, to join this journey with me........?
be it partner,or a friend............

=)

A place in this world

2012-01-24T02:44:00.001+08:00

Would u... thought u wanted sth n when u almost get there, or when u've ad gotten one, u start doubting??
i get that a lot~
LOST~

where is the place in this world that we should belong?

Give everything a CHANCE

2012-01-10T08:07:00.017+08:00

Hihi~~ life has been good ha.. =)
currently back to msia.. miss the life here very much T.T

anyway,it's been rainy days back in Auckland few days ago...
n it's my first tim letting them coming over to my room, n we had a mamasak time for brunch =P
learnt how to make pancakes out of this trip. fun~ =))

getting prep~

our hashbrown producer,LOL
while waiting n chit chating in the room~

they r both very VERY nice leaders~ =)

ta dang~~~

bon apetit!~

then towards the end we cant finish the bulk of pancakes..
so i decided to go n buy strawberries, n choc.......
nice =)

S for Shuang......Superb~muahahaha!

the night we going for Occidental, as always, the belgium restaurant....dunno y, but...we just lk to go ><
half way thru eating we found this.......

n i stop eating..LOL~

my main point is........
this may not be sth i used to do..normally, we will just be hybernating,i guess~
so...give everything a chance,n u may find sth diff =)
be it u don lk ur current job, current partner, sick of the place u're staying, the ppl, colleague that u think u will never get along with, ur studies, etc etc........
there will always be sth that u can find that would cheer u up n make u LOVE them =)
as long as u want them to be, it will be~
n also bcuz, life goes on...if u wanna move forward, learn to love ur PRESENT!

i've met someone this time that skip all the meals n just had two cookies..
i mean, out of, the starter, main course, dessert, cheese n fruits, he chose cookies, n give me a look lk, no food in fantastic~ n i was thinking, r u kidding me, they look so nice.....!
that's somewhat bad ha.....
dont be so moody ppl~ life is good, n u dont spend money but yet, starve urself..must eat well n tk care well of urself right?
that should be the very basic thing that u have to satisfy for what ever hard work that u r working for...!
anyway, i met some unreasonable ppl that sector...n, i fought back..
but truth is, ther's no mean to reason things out for them as they will still continue being grouchy,really...
n someone taught me,when nothing hurts u....that's when u can be a very professional service provider.......
i cant do it by now,n probably, not the coming months too...
i mean, they chose us in the first place, for having that extra sense of empathy towards people, extra passion than others, towards connecting ppl~ yet, as time goes by, the things here teach u how to not be too sensitive to them, teach u how to not have a feeling in the sense....hmm~
but they may b right...we will always need to set aside our emotions for our job,really.. no matter which line u r in~

someday mayb,
in the future, im gonna quit flying...
n im gonna look at the sky each days n really miss flying~~~
n i must make myself remember this feeling =)

ciao~

'Time goes by'

2012-01-04T22:31:00.003+08:00

Translated:

Should old acquaintances be forgotten,And never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintances be forgotten,
And days of long ago !

Chorus:
For old long ago, my dear
For old long ago,
We will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago.

We two have run about the hillsides
And pulled the daisies fine,
But we have wandered many a weary foot
For old long ago.

We two have paddled (waded) in the stream
From noon until dinner time,
But seas between us broad have roared
Since old long ago.

And there is a hand, my trusty friend,
And give us a hand of yours,
And we will take a goodwill draught (of ale)
For old long ago!

And surely you will pay for your pint,
And surely I will pay for mine!
And we will take a cup of kindness yet
For old long ago!

....to my dear friends, for auld lang syne~~ =)

hope the post find all of u well..miss u guys much!!

We can control our feelings...I CAN!

2012-01-03T10:31:00.004+08:00

Hey followers,hows life everybody?

i'll tell u hows mine.. =)

for the couple of days this few weeks, i've been feeling awful bout life..it's like really,waking up feeling all tired, shagged n miserable.. no kidding~

i frequently asked myself what hv i done to my own health, sacrificing it for the job im having, worth it?

truth is, it's festive season these days n i cant help missing my life back then.. my friends, my birth place..really, dunno how many times hv they post up the gathering meet up, n im lk...don ever need to think bout it =(

u know what? the new yr night itself, i finish off my dinner n on the way back to home, i walked, n cried all the way.. i cant help.. reached back home, thank God one of the girl has came back n we had lk pillow talk.. n we made a review for the year of 2011.. n i feel, it's a failure, for that time of the moment..

recalling how i used to work back then, the ppl tat we attract when we hv positive vibes, ppl constantly charm by ur personality, give u name cards so that u can keep in touch with them, good opportunities if ther's a chance u feel lk working for them..those things, havent been happening lately..what happened huh Shuang? hmm..

remember we watch HIMYM n ther's a comment, 'u cant go back to the past just because it's safe n secure,u cant go back just because the future seems scary'..

think i hv forgotten i used to like to think,u need to let urself into uncomfortable situations,thats when u put urself into challenge n that's when life's worthwhile..

honestly, i hv lost all my passion for work.. even if the few days ago, someone complement me in front of my 'boss' i would juz say thank you n walk off, not willing to make further conversations, not feeling great cause i dont feel i did any good anymore..i juz,follow the flow, do what i was suppose to do, what's inside?nothing much left but feel lk wanna leave already..

truth is, the TOXIC people has been around me these days, we alwez been discussing bout them leaving.. n truth is, im all greedy n think tat i deserve better all the time..

You can feel UP one moment,n DOWN then next...

where has my drives gone?

think, it may b best if i get away from toxic ppl, i wish them well but need to remind myself, the life they want is not wat i wan..

need to get more back to the me, the me that always feel very grateful for being here, the me that used to be happy n willing to try out everything..

n Clement if u're reading this, i wanna change away of the title of emo queen.. dont wanna be anymore =P

n ms big head prawn..hmm~~~ how a great way to start of the new yr..i mean, really, the first flight out of the yr, ad reminds me,u know wat shuang, dont be careless anymore~ n, good rite?i wont repeat that for the rest of the year..

anyhoo..if u're just like me, stop feeling bad about myself.. u know wat?just bcuz im that careless, i hv few sets of makeup items, even toothpaste, dunno how many times i need to buy them in a yr..muahaha! but it's fine..so long as u can accommodate ur ownself, find a way, an alternatives, get more of precautions, things will turn out alright..

n seriously, i still havent find a solution to the nametag tat i hv lost..but,be it good or bad, im ready =)

waking up feeling lk watching one of this,

thank you Joel, love u always!~ cuz we love God always!~~

it's new year n honestly, i dont hv much plans ahead, im literally a lost sheep by now...

but i know for now,

n i wanna be happy, for today, for the rest of the year, no matter what happen!

n that shall be the new yr's resolution..!

should be in one of ur list too ppl!!

opps,not to forget, i wanna love u back, my job =))

good luck n stay happy =)))))

Let's talk about love~

2011-12-17T13:38:00.007+08:00

being in Maldives....seeing all the love birds kinda like a wake up call lk.. y am i still single? am i really enjoying single life? LOL..
this thing has been put aside by me for bout 2 yrs already..wao~yea, im quite surprised it's 2 yrs already.....
Love is never easy.. relationships r never easy..not to say juz simply with ur own partner.. probably with ur family members, friends, etc..ther're a lot to learn..
growing up in an Asian background, being not very well in expressing each other, it's certainly not good n healthy for a good relationship.. took some break to really learn to start loving my family members, act lk a grown up, which is sth i alwez cant wait to achieve back then.. whether or not my effort was appreciated, sometimes, i do not know the ans too... i juz know i've tried my best to shower my love..but still,not being able to stay by their side,sometimes,how much can i really give?
still,to me i think it's alwez good if even though u gain nothing from wat u hv gv, at least, ppl appreciate tat..right?

Would u, believe that some place in this world, ther's actually someone out there, that share the same interest lk u do, have the same kind of thinking lk u do, been doing n feeling the same things lk u do???
wonder has this person kinda appear in my life...
n if he does, tat would probably b God's gift... n, is that what we called soul mate? hmm~~
but then again, two person tat is so similar...works??

Ppl, if u're still single out there juz lk i do, all the best in hunting for the one =)
n if u're ad attached, please appreciate him/her each days 'Dont take things for granted' is alwez sth very important in a relationship i think~ still learning~~
remember as well, those who may hv failed in love, that, sometimes, ppl juz slowly walk out from ur life.. without intention, of course u wont get to realize it... n it's alright because each days, we going through diff things, there're diff stages in life, tat slowly makes u to who u wanna be.. when he/she went to the other direction, when ther's lack of communication, things happen..
but, good thing is, ther will be ppl slowly going into ur life as well~~
just, be patient =))

Ciao~

Ends with the song,
Let's talk about love~

perfect lyrics,
Everywhere I go all the places that I've been
Every smile is a new horizon on a land I've never seen
There are people around the world - different faces different names
But there's one true emotion that reminds me we're the same...
Lets talk about love

From the laughter of a child to the tears of a grown man
There's a thread that runs right through us all and helps us understand
As subtle as a breeze - that fans a flicker to a flame
From the very first sweet melody to the very last refrain...

Lets talk about love
Lets talk about us
Lets talk about life
Lets talk about trust
Lets talk about love

It's the king of all who live and the queen of good hearts
It's the ace you may keep up your sleeve - 'til the name is all but lost
As deep as any sea - with the rage of any storm
But as gentle as a falling leaf on any autumn morn...

Lets talk about love - it's all were needin'
Lets talk about us - it's the air we're breathin'
Lets talk about life - I wanna know you
Lets talk about trust - and I wanna show you
Lets talk about love

Taboo in love

2011-12-12T13:47:00.006+08:00

So i watched some documentaries lately and came across...Objectum sexuality~~

yea, despite being gay laz tim which was a big taboo,n now it seems lk most of the society hv kinda accept that, there goes Objectum sexuality~~~ @@

so what's that????

basically it's a human being fall for an object.. yea, no kidding, the guy was literally kissing, hugging, and, make love with his car.....also may b sth lk masturbation, details, hv no idea ><

n the girl who had fall in LOVE with walls, actually sleep with one piece of the building each night... same, make love..

the psychologist actually make a research n found out those ppl,most of them hv a background that's lk some sort whereby they r lack in love..being sexually abused, cheated, etc..

n yea, there're certain part in the world where, sexual surrogate is actually legal~

they call that therapeutic sessions n towards the end of the lesson, real action is involved..

So..

What's wrong with the world??

can u or can u not accept that? hmm~~~

n yea, im bored......for now~~~ too many pieces, too many scales..!

wanna watch lots of movies!! but, all alone =(( never ever watch a movie alone, dont want to either~

Wicked is in SG since Dec!! no company either..

aihhhHH~ depressing..muahahahha!

Joel used to say, if u feel lk u're alone, if u're sad n depressed, dont juz sit at home and feel sorry for urself! go out and get some friends, go out and get some life!

hahaha~~ haih~~~

One night in Beijing~~

2011-12-11T13:09:00.015+08:00

Currently fall in love to go over China..of course no way it's bcuz of the food..it's because of Sofitel!!! love their rooms..dont mind to make them mine or staying there lk for long =)))

after work, having to rest in a very nice hotel room, get a soak in the bathtub, have a nice meal, rest, and get a nice massage, and sleep through the night..i mean, it's been awhile since i really sleep through or had a good night sleep for long d... so yea, loved it! love their way of massage..! but then again, dont let ur husband to go for it on their own...i mean, really, cannot be trusted, LOL!

that's the hall way~

time for dinner~
the cozy side of the room

the view~

the toilet bathtub with waterproof TV~

time to sleep~
not to forget a good breakfast b4 work =)

had dinner with the girls the night b4 heading to work..n we were saying bout the time when i went to Shanghai n got food allergy.. couldn't imagine tats ad one n a half yr bac already~~time flies =(
if i were to recall back how it's like to have nearly lost my life in a foreign country, n hv yet to do a lot of things tat i wanted..it's indeed very scary~
that tim of the moment i just rmb i could feel my heartbeat,slow n pumping hard..couldn't be able to see, just voice of doctor asking nurse to drag me in cuz i may not make it d~~i was literally praying to God..
n the best part, i recovered hours later and get back to work the next day.. that's how food allergy is..either u get cured within that critical few hrs, if not, it may be fatal..
guess that's parts n puzzles in life that makes u grow..makes u know what is important~
what makes who i am today..
so harlo~~im not a person who dont care bout lots of things, but really, life is too short for u to plan n only go for it..u will never be 100% ready for certain things, most importantly,u need to start off with something..anything that u feel lk doing, go for it! and be BOLD and be CONFIDENT! that's how i always live my life......
but very sad to say, they r still very messy now..n that im still hiding n letting the flow taking over =P

anyways..going back to home in CNY =)) best gift ever! Jan's going to be good.. time to explore more of SG! time to love my job more.. time to learn to love? =)
yea, y do i have to say to love the job more..well, just got accused by someone that i said sth which i didn't~~ in the end of the 15 mins conversation, couldnt control n fought back.. that's when someone taught me, treat them as lk ur partner.. if u ends up with an argument, stop fighting, say the facts, explain urself n kept quiet~ something quite deep to learn.. so yea,still learning =)

guess what the good news? i've got 97 in my G5 theory exam!! =)))

well for most of the one who had lk G8,etc ,etc, will be lk.. cheh~it's only g5,its only 97...

then again,im still going to give myself a pat on the shoulder and say, job well done!!

it's sth i didnt expect to come..the week b4 the exam im still lk a lost sheep..really couldnt tell how it's like to have shorten the period of practicing, of work, of prac exam the mth b4, of not being able to focus cuz of jet lag..of everythings, it's all worthwhile, simply because thats sth i love to do =))

AGAIN
每天叫醒大家的，不是闹钟，而是梦想～～～

AZA AZA!!~ gambate everybody! =)

Sth i dunno

2011-11-27T17:47:00.006+08:00

had very little time for napping then off to work~
overnight so most of them r sleeping..thank God someone had a muscle cramp n came to talk to me..nice way to spend time with =)

sth i may not know about my hometown Pg, ther's an air force station of Royal Malaysian Air Force actually in Butterworth itself.. what i shame, i need a Australian to tell me so ><
RAF->RAAF->RMAF
now, As of October 2008, the Australian Defence Force continues to maintain a presence at RMAF Butterworth as part of Australia's commitment to the Five Power Defence Arrangements (FPDA), with No. 324 Combat Support Squadron and a detachment of AP-3C Orion aircraft from No. 92 Wing RAAF being located at the airfield. In addition, the Australian Army maintains an infantry company (designated Rifle Company Butterworth) at Butterworth for training purposes. (wiki)

we then had (science talk) where he mentioned one of the products he came out with, Leimo, a shampoo, was one of those that he felt very proud of.....
n we were talking bout research n stuff =(((((((
kinda stir me a little to think about going back to science.. sth that i thought i was suppose to be in... sth that i used to b interested in~
anyway, learnt a lot by talking to him today... that's what i LOVE about my job.. u can literally just get to talk to any strangers out of the 200-300 ppl.. wasnt that amazing?? =)))

ppl, did u noticed the clock is still ticking?? it's end of NOV already~
when i told me teacher i wil b coming bac for class on 1st of dec, he gave me a look lk, we r so lacking of time ><
I AM SO LACKING OF TIME in a lot of aspects too!!
have u done what u've set back in Jan, 10 mths ago?? honestly, couldnt really rmb what was my new yr resolutions back then, LOL!
but i think.......i kinda did juz let the tim passing by... tsk tsk tsk!

anyway, Lang Lang is coming to SG.. although he's not performing.. but i kinda did went n buy the tix at the very laz min without looking at the price, juz to see him in person..
sometimes i think i really dont do things with very rational thinking..kekeke!
WATEVER =P

Ma work.....

2011-11-20T22:55:00.005+08:00

it's 2 degree out there right now...Sunday again,everything's else r closed..
sth tat i couldnt understand n dont really like...y certain countries,lk Aussie,NZ, hv all the shops closed after 5?y Germany,Switzerland, hv Sun off...y Paris hv only certain period of time when u can get to buy a meal @@

anyway, today's not going to b a happy post....
my work sucks till MAX today....but i dont even know what happened~~
probably i get to go bac pg again??? no kidding..

i rmb the very laz tim i went bac was 3 mths ago...for a week~for the very last day while i depart from the airport to sg,the captain flew over pg bridge..that's when heavy down pour.....the tears from my eyes i mean...n i got very emo for bout a week bac here,tk bac some time to get used to everything again...from then on,i never make the effort to go bac cuz i know how much tat could affect me...
but since im going bac soon..im not so well again =(((
kinda very disappointed with my work today,seriously..
feel lk going to church n cry for hours again....(yea,i did ><)

sigh sigh~get well soon....gonna try harder next sector!

as much as i dont like this feeling,still, i would love to happily say...im going bac home PG!! wait for me right ther =)

someone recommend me a book,tiger mum...nice? he(german) got married with a korean lady with 3 kids...saw the pic, urgh! so darn adorable!! lucky him =)
gonna go bac n buy some other books too,cuz my fav writer came out with new books now..keke!

4pm....long way to go till Monday...continue telling myself,dont me emo,hax!!

tk care ppl..! =)

Hong Kong (homework)

2011-11-19T01:41:00.005+08:00

So yea,been to few countries..visited most of the Asian countries but guess what?? i only get to step into Hong Kong, ONCE~~for that few hours...BESIDE the airport >< never been to town.. it's not lk i really DESPO to go..it's just that,out of curiosity..since it's lk another MUST go kinda place.. sis been there,so lk, no company, sigh sigh~~ watched this TV programme the other day introducing some places in HK think everybody knows it's highly populated country but easy to go around the city..blah blah... u can get to go to the seaside town..as in really,seaside town..haha! where u can get to eat lots of fresh seafood~ FYI, they actually cook the starfish for soup.....sth tat really make my jaw dropped was that, they eat starfish's eggs...lk, ewww~~

how nice~~

Honeymoon dessert..a must go too~ wher diff sorts of varieties of desserts r available..

http://www.honeymoon-dessert.com/en_us/category.php?tag=all

can try to log on to their web,quite interesting though~

at night can go off to Aqua Luna

Oo..if u do get to know, the Madame Tussauds, wher u get to touch,hug, hand shake or watsoever with the wax..actually, everyday b4 the operating hours, the staff would touch up the wax..that's how they maintain that =)

Tarts everywhere..but the good once, Tai Cheong was recommended

Tai Cheong Bakery

To get some souvenirs, probably head to Hollywood Road n find a store, GOD (Good of Desire) where they hv lots of items combined with fine arts..probably would be sth special to get back home~

oh yea,btw, HK famous actor, Jacky Chan..Staring Shinjuku Incident...hv u watch yet?? i mean izit out yet? LOL..so outdated @@

probably if u were looking for a very luxury n comfy hotel to stay in, try W Hong Kong,

with the concept Whatever, Whenever...in Kaolun..

Mathew Jung..kinda admire his way of managing the whole hotel..from inside out, it just seems so perfect~

dont hv to check in, welcome drink waiting for u in room..

oh, n the staff there r actually empowered to do anything for the customers...say, someone mentioned he/she missed the dog back at home..the staff could actually go out n get a mayb, say, soft toy of a doggie n put inside the room n surprise the customers.. how sweet rite?

n, digital arts everywher~

towards the check out, the staff would actually help u to pack ur bag, lk u can juz leave everything for them...

think it would b lk a very nice experience.. =) but muz hv cost a boom too =P

anyway, havent been ther yet,so..........nothing much i could comment =((((

When's my turn to go HK???? hmm~~

going Switzerland tmr..kinda,cold now.....mentally feel lk going out but physically..hmm hmm~~

Nitey~

Sheer Cover...over overrated in overseas!!!!

2011-11-18T11:38:00.002+08:00

was sleeping the other night....with the TV on..
this ad, keep repeating n REPEATING towards morning time..
so, i woke up....annoyed~
n watched.....
the products r highly highly recommended!!
so,girls.....if u're interested =P

?????

2011-11-16T01:25:00.009+08:00

stayed in the house for one whole day...finally it's over~~get to work tmr,woohoo!!! =)
i rmb 'someone' used to ask me, y cant i juz sit quietly at home, relax, get some rest together, enjoy the time being together, (save up money too)..haha,i guess just, CANT do it~~
now that my mum isnt working anymore..sometimes when i called her she's lk,im freaking bored~~~i LOL...but deep down inside,i know exactly how she feels..it's sth kinda lk, inherited?? muahaha! dont think we r lk hyperactive person..but we juz,cant do it.. =P

anyway,thought about a lot of things in this 12 hrs time..emailed ppl here n ther, ask about stuff that i MAY b interested in,etc..
so now left with a lot of question marks in my head..

spoke to my sis, talking bout getting bac to study..talked bout how i see things coming in 5 yrs time..she thinks im crazy,tat i may hv considering too little..but i duno, things happening around me,each days, r equally crazy enough ain't it =)
n i think, things tat dont sound crazy..or doesnt excites u...whats the point? ever heard about IF, u r not doing things tat u like daily, IF u hv no sense of purpose in living each days..u r physically alive..but truth is, u r dying slowly each days~~
n that when the day has come..i dunno,what will u feel that time? @@
n, think no one would actually hv a strong faith in u really..u just hv to believe in urself first b4 anybody gets to blif in you~~unless u're lucky enough to find tat soulmate that trust u in watever way u r..
'Stand up for wat u blif in, even it means standing alone' that's what tat inspired me yrs ago..n it stays forever with me >.=

so,i got some replies from SIM..n juz b4 the night ends, i received msg from my teacher,asking me except for flying..i really hv to b focus more on piano..only 3.5 mths left for now...for me to skip another grade~leaving me with guilts....since my theory exam,i think i kinda left out the piano till now..i juz..slowed down, ALOT ><
honestly, he bcame very anxious about me scoring lately..good n bad, im quite stress out actually~hahax!
but now i kinda get it...if his aims were to set up a music school (non profit)...for the poor to approach music.......i guess, IM IN... =)

so wats with the title of ???
will ther b a time when u juz wish u can do 100% out of ur to do list? fact is,in real life..u will need lots of lots of support to get that 100%..if not, sorry..probably juz 1/2~n make tat 1/2 be perfect....n u're gonna SHINE~~
???? i dunno wats the 1/2 going to be..aww~~
BUT,life is beautiful!!

wanna know a lil secret about me?
wats my weakness actually?
PATIENCE...i dont hv =)
high school yr,im juz so impatience that i had gone for work at the age of 15..
college yrs..im so impatience that i stop my degree n grab a permanent job..
love life,im so impatience sometimes that i dunno wats with the guy tat may seems to b interested in u,still not doing anything @@
so every day in my life now,i just need to tell myself, Shuang, BE PATIENT!!!
repeat with me plz....BE PATIENT!!
i really dont wanna stop wat im doing now..because everything else, (except for that sth,which im not going to tell) r sooO much perfect~

enjoy the song..n rmb, ur life is perfect too~ cuz u still get to make changes n aim for watever u feel lk doing for now!

n not to forget this,

this kind of thing, only certain ppl would send me to..it means a lot..

Have a GOOD night, folks!!~

Dato,Datin......

2011-11-14T07:15:00.003+08:00

So, im back from kl ytd....n the amount of ppl with the title (dato) were lk....30%??
it really makes me wonder lk..how many of them r they in the country?
izit really lk what they said, u can buy the title, bout few millions..then, it helps in ur career especially if u're in business??
so SICK!!! after all, ppl r not that poor isnt it?

i recalled back ther's this time when i was waiting for pickup in front of a hotel,sth lk 5 star hotel..at the front where they hv two clubs..
sitting there alone,bout an hour....lots of Ferrari,lots of Mercedes.....get down the car,hand the key,went into the clubs,with few chicks n all~
for what i expect,was suppose to be someone at certain age range,with a look of wealthy background..but,nah~most of them r lk...at their late 20s,or 30s...skinny....not charming,(M)~ not being racist but..it is how it is...
it's so sad to watch most of my frenz,most of the ppl r working so hard for a living....while them?they juz got it,n i think they dont deserve it...

if we were to reveal lots of ugly sides of the country...i dont think just the politics alone, it's the culture, it's the people...that..we juz basically cant get rid of..
sighHH~~~right? ><

been working on weekends for the past two days..rainy days..
n i've got an off today...MOnday,when everyone's going back to work =((
anyhooo...probably it's time to go for stretch fit class~~hope im doing well..havent been exercising since..ages!! havent step into the pool for bout 2 mths since i got drowned d too...
n a good massage~~~
n a movie~~

Lovely day..730am.. just, cant wait to start off the day! =) XOXO

Wats with being RUDE?

2011-11-13T03:11:00.005+08:00

guess what?! it's 4 am now..finished work n reached bac hours ago....feel lk posting sth bout what i've encountered today...
just really feel lk writing them down....for some day in the future, it reminds me every time of the moment, please dont turn into a person like THAT!

so yea, met him, the first thing he came to me, was asking for a form, in english version..it was written n filled in malay, so i double confirmed, u needed a eng one? so yea, he said yes..n when i get back n hand to him,he made a hand gesture n said,i dont need them..could u keep this for me?
so im lk, fine..took the thing n go off (politely).. which normally ppl would ask for 'sth' to b able to recognize it belongs to him..but i didnt cuz im having time constraint n i could rmb n recognize things..then he asked me, so u need that 'sth' or not....i smiled n said,no thanks, i will b able to recognize this..n he challenge me by asking me muz return to him as in HIM..
at that particular moment,it gets into my heart right away that this person is not easy~~n that only took us few sentences of talking, one or two body language..

n...i was right, because after which, he gave me a lot of problems..(which,couldnt really tell in details)
so,when i hv time to sit down n rethink...if u hv filled up the form,y ask for another copy in eng...if u were to know we alwez need that 'sth',y cant u juz hand in tgt with ur stuff?

if u were to ask me hv i gain sth so far out of the career?? i would say yea,money for sure....but money cant buy everything..
it's the lots of lots of lessons, taught by diff people, diff stages of ppl of all walks in life..
it made me a better person to who i am today...for i really came down to appreciate a lot of things..from me myself,to my family,even to a stranger tat is talking to me in no wher~n probably, being more sensitive to ppl nowadays..it's like,i can just tell..

sometimes,i dont get it,
does it mean that when u r paying for sth, u get to say everything? u get to have everything in the world that u could possibly think of from ur mind?that the time is all urs?
we used to know that ppl of higher level in the society r very easy going..communicating with them is never a prob,it's the middle range one, the one that earn well but not enough r the fussy once..
n one of the reason they used to tell me is that, those very wealthy once hv too much of prob in life that they wouldnt trouble themselves for tiny little prob that u gv them..
to me,it's not......i think it's their easy going attitude r the one that lead them to b how successful they r today..of their ability to handle stress that make them who they r today..
in n out every day, i've met ppl who impressed me, very much impressed....
but, still, ther r tons of ppl whom i juz dont get why.....it's lk,they just dont get it!~n,im guessing they wil never get it..

nonetheless, ppl.... i would juz lk to remind u,of who u r today, of wher u r standing today, be sincere to urself in the future u....also, be respectful to others..u will b pleased to know how far it could lead u..really~~
ther's no point to be particular n all stress out n mean...cuz at some point, u will only be standing n stepping on the same stage,couldnt go any further...cuz that's when u hv reach ur limits..n nobody would remind u of ur situation....bcuz u hv got no one else dare to be sincere to u in some ways~

too many too many ppl....too many things that we r handling every day..but to me, ther's only a very fine line between yes n no, in or out, right or wrong..
sometimes, ther is really nothing that state what is black or white..it's juz how u handle things n how u make ppl feel~~
do u think that all the very good decision makers r really that smart that they could differentiate n analyze things well every single day?? i personally dont think so...
be good to ppl, have a positive attitude..most of the time,it helps....to me,thats when the thing called 'luck' came~

talking bout ppl,
i really dont wanna categorize ppl by their countries or skin color...but i would lk to say, certain ppl r very outspoken, some VERY positive, some VERY negative, some very easy going..
i would just lk to talk about malaysians...we r very easy going ppl~ it's lk when ppl cut ur queue, when ppl mistreat u...we normally would just accept it..BUT complaining bhind the back..
it shows, in our politics..... because no matter how bad it is...we will still take it..
i dont wanna see my country falls apart..i stil have faith that we hv got very talented ppl in the country
how i wish someday,things would change.....
WILL WE CHANGE???

Aims..

2011-11-07T02:46:00.009+08:00

So guess what...i hv been hybernating for two days in the hotel room,not going anywher when initially i planned for going Austria...
Think its juz the fact tat i don feel lk exploring the city alone,dont lk to b alone lately =) which is y,i was a bit upset leaving sg bfore coming...hv got two more days here,can i go back juz yet??
It's one of those days,when u r down,u hv a bad dream...a really bad one i mean,probably slept too much,hax!!
So yea,i went dumb for a lil while after being awake..
then as usual,ther goes a story telling coincidentally,when i needed them,great advise.. alwez ther to encourage me..brought me up to who i am today i shall say =)))

So yea,y whine about not having a home,y lost faith..
i could build one on my own,i could make them happen....
should stop thinking bout WHAT IF~
life is too short for that aint it?
So....probably its a good timing to get a house in kl...yup,decided to reside in kl,not the lovely pg...for my mum =)
n yea,seriously, i need to get to the classes...pick up some dancing,yoga mayb..

Skip my BMW museum today,which may b a good lost...but nvm,wil go another trip then...

still dunno wat to do bout future...but who cares~~im a girl who alwez do juz watever for wat it takes when i want them to b true,right??
Felt good now... n its Xmas soon my dear,can u feel it??
Cant wait!!!thanks for the good energy =) life is always good when u r around~

N,he mentioned sth lk, dont b sad for those tat hv betrayed u,hv walked away from ur life,for they didnt set u bac,they set u up...for the person u r today..cuz if they dont do so,u would probably not s successful s wat u r now..
so,if u r missing someone,if u r wondering y....tats y =)
B happy always! For anything tat comes in the future..!

There r still a lot of ambiguity seriously..lk,when shall i stop this 'holiday',when do i wanna get bac to study n live a normal life,n receive the happiness that every regular person gets..
i might not go bac to study d i guess...we study for getting to do wat u r good at,what u enjoy doing,get financially independent dont we??i guess i am able to do tat so far...so,i'll skip tat for now..stop stressing myself out of nothing here d..we alwez hv the ans of wat to do n when to do them most of the tim..but we juz lk to keep thinking n keep asking HOW,dont we =p
I can b very particular bout certain things, but im a very contented person i shall say ＾＾

Gambate lar~~b prepared for tmr,but not to worry bout tmr =)

when everyone's soundly asleep.....

2011-11-06T05:50:00.008+08:00

It's bout 11pm here in Munich, 10·C, probably 6 in the morning back in msia..
I've got no one to talk to....not much place to hang out...tv's too bored having most channels tat speak in language i don und..ppl's too judgemental..so,kinda decided to stay in,hv my in room dining,avoid the crowd,the weather,the ppl...

Read back the blog,with the song played, kinda felt it's like a joke..Wat kind of big joke could happen in ur life??when u wanna go home... but frankly i doubt i hv one...hv no one to say,i miss u,n the needs of me being at anyone's side..
YET,
wat kind of joke could it b if...u hv always wanted sth,but nobody seems to b giving anything..n tat u drift urself away,away from the reality..n tat after yrs later,u suddenly came to realize a lot of ppl is giving n u're running away to accept,bcuz the fear of accepting wat might comes after tat..due to the fact,the dissappointment u hv bfore..

It's funny everytim u thought about sth,n tat goes lk how perfect,how sweet if tat could juz came true in ur life..but when it's happenning n u wil b asking,is tat wat i really wan? Cuz, everything seems to b possible,but probably too much to gv..

This is a song i used to play one yr bac...n i guess most of us felt lk its singing literally how we felt when we all first joined..
But,the 'someone else's life' has kinda be in part of me for bout one n a half yr...from a person who text a lot,hv got lots of contacts,likes meeting ppl,etc...to someone who could leave the phone bac in the house,knowing no one would bother calling anyway,till its odd having ppl asking how u r every day..i kinda,took it all..

At this point,i really wish i could make a pause...to breathe~
Because i know im very contented with wat i've pull out so far..
n i don seems to b able to gv anything else..n seriously,the world has got too much of temptations...the unknown..that i would possibly wanna know....i dont wanna stop just yet~For someone whom im not certain of..for those who r not even hv faith to themselves..
N i can assure u tat im nt being selfish...hv tried yrs to make ppl i care being happy...but truth is,no matter how hard u try,it all depends on how open hearted the person is,to accept wat u r trying..

Its kinda sad to hv this obvious ans in my mind for now....for,im not the girl bac then who go for just anything by guts..
but guess,tats how it is....for now =)
Truth is....ther r too many negative vibes....n im losing my faith..

One emo night...AGAIN~~

2011-10-24T02:58:00.003+08:00

Watched Grey's...
laz epi, saying, "There's a reason i said i would b happy alone... It wasnt cuz i thought i would b happy alone
it was bcuz i thought if i love someone n it fall apart,i might not make it.. It's easier to be alone....
Cuz,wat if u like it n lean on it,
wat if u shape ur life around it,n then.....
It falls apart?
Can u even survive that kind of pain?

was a very sad ending for tat season..as always~shed some tears,sigh!
damn, im so emo...
Not quite sure whether or not its love..cuz after all,no one likes to commit at this age,n wheen things r too good to b true,i tend to juz runaway... It started with me meeting this girl, who works very hard for her life..
n i felt so sad for myself ><

think i've not been sleeping well lately, every 4 hours o sleep i wake up..
n it all depends whether or not i would lk to continue sleeping...most often than not,i didnt..

remember one n a half yr back, when i went for the job interview,
ther's this girl who mentioned this job would gives u a life-changing experience, it's an eye opener,etc..
to which i thought at that moment, REALLY?? too much!!
but looking back, yea, she somehow got it a lil bit right..
i've changed, ppl changed..
it sometimes too hard to see n too sad to accept~
n i kinda don wan myself to change tat way =(

when she asked me,so, wat u plan for future..?
i was like...frankly, i dunno.....
n she responded n say,tats good, it provides u more flexibility tat may comes the coming yrs..
hmm...wat does tat even mean??! i don even know where to start now, sigh~~

aih,can someone stop me from feeling guilty to hv sufficient rest each days??

Maslow's theory

2011-06-22T10:16:00.002+08:00

well, somehow i think,yea,it kinda makes sense.....
so guys, which stage r u in now???
sometimes i do wonder, the hierarchy's right but it might not hv to b a triangle, should b a circle~ yes probably most of the physiological needs are met, n go on n on till they're satisfied of self-actualization (lk we would really satisfied =P) then,most often than not, we do go bac to the very basics, n rebuild a stronger base, get more of the physiological needs don't we? =)))

for whatever it is, gambate!!~

The Dos and Don'ts,the present and the past....

2011-05-16T16:42:00.002+08:00

not having proper meal for few days, one midnight flight, one package of tidbits, n tats it!! im falling sick AGAIN......
tat kinda reminds me of the dos n don'ts i used to have,and, i missed them.........

-never stayed up till too late~ no matter how much work load i have, how important it is to burn midnight oil for studies, i never stayed up till 2am....that's the principle i used to hv.......rather to wake early than sleep late~

-never ever consume Panadol! avoid seeing doc....used to fall sick for the whole month, reluctant to consult doc, and tat was okay~~ BUT, had that once for a long flight... sick lk hell and that i had to tk note of not being overdose........
had one unknown medicine for a drug addict.......just bcuz i gotta work,n,was in pain...

-do sing k when i feel lk i had to, it always make me feel happy~ BUT, i no longer hv that habit anymore...........

-do eat whatever i like, bcuz, my body used to be able to take it.......

-do ignore ppl that i dont like to talk to

and, now?? sigh~~~ people changed.......all the time...! for good n for bad~

get well soon....

Be content but don't settle for too little..

2011-05-16T00:55:00.002+08:00

To whoever followers,it's been a year since I've come to sg.....guess what?time flies~~really does...
a lot of things have happened,hv not happened,etc......plenty of stuff going through my mind each and every day as well. And, the most frequent question that always pop up is,when r u going to quit shuang? >< yea,seriously..had few sleepless nights thinking bout that like,always~

thought I am going to quit my job and b a piano teacher,live my life simple, then there goes this guy saying 'well,a cousin of mine hv a doctorate in music, she's joining SPO, (which yea,i had this silly dream, to join MPO) oh, n she's having a pay that is lesser than urs...' 'screw that, interest will never feed u well,etc....' well, that got me into emo state for a great 5 days...then I got back town, n guess what? I still never would stop practicing...truth is, interest may not feed u well, but u will never know where it will lead you to.......! n one thing im for sure is, it will leads u to happiness =))

been working with ppl not at my age range atm......spoke with this guy in particular, 55 years old (around my mum's age) he reminded me that in Psycho, we used to learn that ppl around this age range, tend to reflect their life, as in what they had achieve in life, those that they don't... if they're pretty much satisfied, they would then bcome arrogant, proud, and of course, happy..
but if they don't, well then, most of the time they would grumble till......the day they couldnt remember things well, or......the day they leave this world...n one thing I realized they would always say is,'what for I save up the money, I can't bring them with me when I die..'
that reminds me of another old man which I so happened to meet in Midvalley. He couldn't stop bragging about how great his son n daughter r doing, how smart is his grandson, and even his wife is dead, he wouldn't stop praising her as a pretty lady, how well they tolerate with each other and hv alwez love each other...
then I hv this guy told me, how hard his life was when he was young, how he save up money to support the family, how he sacrifice for his family......
n okay, gonna end the story here~ but my point is, be good to your parents, especially when they're at this age range.. second, don't end up being the second guy, we work hard, but we hv to enjoy life as well~if u choose not to, don't regret when u get old!!

the thing about being content is..actually for me, for those who've got a job, for those who r still in their studies..
u may be working for a company that brings you a lot of stress, u may b very tired of going to work each day, u may be sick of being a student, sick of what u hv to face every day.. Dudes, im sure if u look up, there're plenty of ppl is having those lifestyle that u want, financial state that u wan, fame that u yearn for..but, sometimes, try to look down, there're also plenty of ppl is being envious of what u r having today!! a job? Education?
So yea,be content of what you have, really.............

and what's with the don't settle for too little?? it's actually from a story that I heard from my fren...b it u're reading or not reading....i would just like to say, if u're so sure that u can make it, and ppl around hv faith in u, y gv up n say that mayb I just don't have what it takes to be? Cause if u do, u're acting like a child, n so, don't blame ur parents for treating u like one~~

oh, n I was reading this book 'rich dad,poor dad', stop reading after topic 3, cuz it stressed me out!! @@
but one thing he mentioned, ther's this one thing about being a couple, it's either he/she would pull you down, block your way to a greater future, or he/she will inspire u to be a better u and work hard to each other's future......
well, I think it's somewhat true cause I've came across lots of time where when ppl hv some great offers,they would always have an excuse of, I dont wanna b apart with my partner....or, my partner dont allow me to do so.......
true? =) ish.....that again, freaked me out!!! =P

cheers~

Wish you were here

2011-04-07T02:01:00.002+08:00

I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you, it's not like that at all

There's a girl
who gives a shit
behind this wall
You've just walked through it

And I remember, all those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

I love the way you are
It's who I am, don't have to try hard
We always say, say like it is
And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy things you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here.
All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it, just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

Chorus:
Damn, Damn, Damn,

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/wish-you-were-here-lyrics-avril-lavigne.html ]

What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

Bridge:

No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you to know
That I never wanna let go

(let go let go let go let go)

No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you to know
That I never wanna let go

(let go let go let go let go let go let go let go)

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here (I wish you were)
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
here, here, here
I wish you were here.
Damn, Damn, Damn
What I'd do to have you
near, near, near
I wish you were here.

Perfect lyrics,perfect voice,perfect sound background.....isnt it???see y i like her now? =)
still couldn't get her album in expanded version.......should i ship them from US,really?hmm~~~

Taipei

2011-04-07T00:49:00.013+08:00

was just telling my sis,i wan taipei..............then,wuups~i got it!FOC =)))
but.....it wasnt a VERY pleasant trip i would say..probably it's true that,it all depends on who u hang out with~if it's ur love once,even staying at home is comforting enough rite?
every now n then,we do get to meet ppl who r genuinely nice..certain ppl would b very bossy,certain don't lk to mix around,some very straight forward n bitch around...this time round,i met someone who would like to help,but the mouth couldnt stop whining...another,u could guess what's in their mind,but they r saying the opposite stuff...lk......grrr!!!
i would say,sometimes,or most of the time...homo sapiens r really very funny creature..
but anyway,taipei is beautiful!~if u think food in msia is good,taipei is lk..hmm,5x of it??lots of varieties,lots of specialties =)
oh oh........the thing i lk the most,is their tv channel!!! i watched their programs from night time n stayed til bout 3am...regardless of whether i gotta work the next day... hmm~
ok,i know it's not healthy..but am i not right to say,certain imperfections in life,we can only get them from such entertainment?? =P

so,start off the day with their local breakfast

豆浆油条~

the 臭豆腐...syok!

they got one very special sausage..大肠包小肠。。。。hmm~

bought the shirt...very nice drawing rite...looks just lk me,one lonely lil girl..muahaha!

im buying shirts from taipei lk ther're none in sg/msia..... =P

hv no idea y i bought the dress.............dont think im going to wear it in anyway ><
but,that proof im stil a normal girl~~who sometimes spare on things i dont need.... (lame)**

too bad i don't club....they say u can hear the dj rap in chinese..would b a nice experience...(if u're into it)

that's all~ =)

One..reveal~

2011-04-02T02:06:00.004+08:00

Every single nights I would feel lk writing..probably,tats when I sum up my life...same goes to tonight..but,i found this~tat i've writen few mths ago.. (revealing~)

People walking in and out from our lives
Was it they yearn for happiness they thought I could gv them
Walking away by means I dont hv the ability to do so??

I used to share with ppl,of my stories...
But there're too much of them now...n that,im on my own~
Meeting strangers each days make me tired even how exciting it could b..

But we're not looking backwards...cause,
Everybody moved on....
They moved on......leaving me bhind..lk im hanging in the corner
Where no one else would care..

What I do is to lay on the bed,waiting......fr day to turn dark..fr night time till the day shine~
Couldnt find a place in the world that feels lk home
Anymore...

There has been confusion..but nothing's goona change..
Of how I am..
Of how I would be..
cuz im going to choose to be happy
Im better off alone n be happy...
Waiting for the someone..n live a happy ending~

Awww.......look how emo I was~couldnt rmb wat I was thinking that tim ><
But I rmb the reasons y I've writen that... =)
if ther's an award for emo girl..i would probably win the prize at tat time.....LOL!

good night world!! XOXO

HibERRnaTING in Denmark

2011-03-18T16:19:00.004+08:00

alwez n forever in my PJ~~~

the swollen n red eye~n the si pek fat face!!

booO!

time to go healthy!!oh oh..ma fav!CEREAL!!~~but shit,cant hv them now......screw the cough!

they wrote LOVE on the ground~~sweet!!cant do that in Msia!hax~
life style here is lk...super comforting......aww,wish i were born here! =P

RoMe!

2011-03-18T15:14:00.006+08:00

sixteen chapel~the most meaningful part of the museum

lk this pic in person~~so,Jesus never touch the fingers of human....what do u think it means?
n i beg u din know tat there's one missing part in 15th piece...cuz of the mistake during cleaning..oh,did i forget to say,it's not normal painting? =)

hercules if u could recognise~

sweet loving couple,ish ish! =P

bible in diff language...even chinese!

gelato~

Mistakes done...

2011-02-14T14:04:00.003+08:00

emo-ing.......

one mistakes done, would have lots of lots of amendments to be done..
I'm just being me,most of the time..forgetfulness!!!
not having a purse, after getting on buses, taxis....
not having a phone for the damn whole day..
lost my easylink, my touch & go card,etc.......

it's not like old times anymore..where u're well pampered..just one cal, i would get what i want from home..sometimes~it would just sent to school, not even noticing i forget to bring those 'important stuff'..
it's not like old times where, just one call to home, someone's there would take them n get for u..
it's not like old times where, ppl actually make the effort to remind me what's important anymore....
countless time if u would wan me to state how many have i done of the above~

n bcuz of these, im trained to be pretty forgetful...
just happen to realize, it's not acceptable at all in work =((
be it first time, be it u forget....none were accepted..
n,be it saying sorry...nobody even bother... u just have to be sorry for urself...cuz u've ruined ur own opportunity..ur own record........ur own career........
that's the thing i don't lk bout well established company....anything extraordinary is not accepted..when u're good u're nothing...when u did bad...u're bad..tats how it works~~

anyway,my own mistake...i hv to bear with them...

like i've said..im suppose to be sad........but i don't want to!

things aren't going too well lately..bit screwed n messed up.........
but i have to move forward...not looking back..

BRAND NEW ID...BRAND NEW DAY!!
going to work after 13 days off!!!~plus, doing for a flight for own country =)
it's gonna be a good day still!!~

anyway,it's valentines' day~~~though none of my business but,happy valentines ppl!!
im off from love cuz im sick of having one...but it doesnt mean ppl i care bout dont deserves to be happy,as they felt lk happiness do came fr the love once~~
LoVE is StIlL aLL aRoUND!~

ps...i definitely need to change the habits, for a better me...a better future *wink*

PS, I LOVE YOU~

2011-02-13T22:52:00.004+08:00

The very first book i've finished by Cecelia Ahern...
not as teary once as others told that i would..in fact,none~
but a nice one.....how often in life would someone be gone from your life, yet, leaving the letters, the list, of what you should or should not do...till you've get over it? how sweet isn't it? =)

The lines i like the most,
"Finding someone you love and who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling.
A soul mate is someone who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, wil be there for you for ever, no matter what.
They say nothing lasts forever, but I am a firm believer in the fact that for some, love lives on even after they're gone...."

"She was a woman who made mistakes, who sometimes cried on a Monday morning or at night alone in bed. She was a woman who often became bored with her life and found it hard to get up for work in the morning. She was a woman who more often than not had a bad hair day, who looked in the mirror wondered why she couldn't just drag herself to the gym more often; she was a woman who sometimes questioned what reason had she to live on this planet. She was a woman who sometimes just got things wrong. But, she was a woman with a million happy memories, who knew what it was like to experience true love and who as ready to experience life,more love, and make new memories"

Well, another one to share, from Dawn,about, pencil~
A pencil maker told his pencils 5 important lessons in life...

1st: Everything you do will always leave a mark...

2nd: You can always correct the mistakes you make...

3rd: What's important is what is inside of you...

4th: In life, you will undergo painful sharpenings that

will make you a better pencil...

and.....

5th: The most important is to be the best pencil you can be.

By allowing yourself to be held and guided by the hand that holds you.

=)))

The CNY~

2011-02-06T12:33:00.010+08:00

brand new yr of 2011...first post~
Chinese New Year, being stuck in sg~
after 8 months in sg.....
still,having one unstable career...not much of savings n......havent clear my study loan! $@#%#$%@ ><

alright, i aint someone who's extremely negative..so i would say, still freaking happy to be in here bcuz i finally get what i've alwez wanted in life!!! which is my baby piano in house =))) on my own~~~
have not been working daySS ago..n will still b stuck here in sg till 12th,which is y im so darn free to blog again~

i have to say i really REALLY in LOVE with what im doing for now..as for the first time, i wouldnt need to be envious of other ppl's life..but having thought juz to be better me in me~ bought LOADS of stuff i've always wanted by myself..planning lots of things ahead on my own too! they used to say starting of working life is like the end of your life to enjoy.......to me, IT's just the BEGINNING of my life..n im enjoying every single moment of it!

but then again, life just won't go well for me..i hv no idea why...it baffles me at times too~ but......whatever it is..I WILL STILL SHINE!! That's what im certain of =)
Robert taught me well.. tough time never last,but tough people WILL~ =P be it im off from sg,got sack,back to msia...either way,i will still strive in whichever ways...mum used to ask me,why can't i just live my life simple,and be happy? well,im really envious of those who can life their live simple......n hv lil happiness for themselves..but i just like to mess up my life and learn it the hard way~ i just like it that way,cant i =P

CNY is the best time to get connected bac to ppl whom u might long lost contact?which i did..... happy to know everyone's doing just fine..! even happy to know a lot of them is perhaps doing well n working very hard for what they thought is best for themselves!~ like this kind of feelings.. =) being an adult wasnt as bad as we thought after all~~~ we have to freedom to do anything out of it!

to those who's still figuring what to do with life, lost in no where mayb...it's time to start something out of it!!! aza aza!~

had a pathetic meal when everyone's having reunion dinner...gamble n drink the other night....sleep thru the whole day after din tai feng~~ n,dunno what to do again today =((((

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!~

Bill Gates

2010-12-14T00:31:00.004+08:00

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Principle 1 - Adapt to your life. You must accept that life is unfair. Nobody is born perfect and lucky, you must learn to adapt to your life, then change it. How your live is going to be will be totally lies in your hand. You must manage and handle your own life.

Principle 2 - Pursue for success. This world will not care who you are, you must pursue for success only then you can get a foothold in your life. Success is the highest state of life, it can change your behavior and attitude, and even your self-esteem. If you think that success doesn’t belong to you, that is a lame thinking.

Principle 3 - No pain, no gain. Success will never come automatically, you need to pay for it if you desire for it. This is the basic principle in our life, you aren’t going to become a CEO of certain company if you don’t work for it. You will not going to make $10k a month if you’re not paying any effort in it. Therefore stop thinking that success will drop from heaven, without hard work , success will not be yours.

Principle 4 -Change your attitude. If you think that your teachers in school are strict, think about your boss after you’ve gone for work. So stop blaming other people and change your attitude on how you look at things.

Principle 5- Everything matters. No matter small or big business, they can make you money. Small business can grows into big businesses. Thus, by slowly taking small steps everyday, you can achieve big result one day.

Principle 6 - Learn from mistakes. This is what Mr Gates urges us to do. We need to learn from our mistakes. Everyone will make mistakes, nobody is perfect in this world. If you ever made a mistake, then learn from it, and never repeat it again. Only by doing so, you can improve yourself to a higher level of success.

Principle 7 - Do it yourself. In this world, you will have to do most of the things yourself. Stop relying on others. If you keep on relying on others, you will not learn the process. The more you rely on other, the more you will lose yourself to them, and hence you will keep on relying on them. This is your own success, not others!

Principle 8 -You’ve got only one chance. Many things in our life only happen once. Therefore you’ve have to take that chance and appreciate it. Sometimes if you’ve lost that chance, don’t worry, you can always create it.

Principle 9 - Value your time. We’ve got only 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. We’ve don’t have much time in fact, life is short. You must learn to value your time. Put your time into process that can makes you grow, makes you success. Just remember this, don’t bring today’s tasks to tomorrow.

Principle 10 - Do what you suppose to do. What you see in television everyday is not the real world. In the real world, you need to get out and work things out.

Principle 11 - Be good with everyone around you. This is the golden rule of life, treat everyone good, and everyone will treat you good. So if you want to be rich, make other people rich first. This golden rule of life will not change, and you have to follow it in order to success.

i like the 11 principles in person...
i like he touch on the part, that we hv to adapt n change ur life..how the world don't care bout who u r..
frankly, forget about what ppl tells u what to do,how well they do in life n asking u to b their follower... u will hv to find your own ways to make ur life a meaningful once...
too much info.......lots of things to bring to bed today~ hmm.....

Best of 2010

2010-12-13T15:26:00.003+08:00

Sky Diving

2010-12-09T00:14:00.009+08:00

got one full clip from interview to landing... =P malas wanna upload..
it's 12000 feet...nice in Christchurch, NZ~

The journey took about 1 n a half hours to reach the destination from hotel... it's far away from town..
n of course, b4 everything get started, we need to sign one consent form..promising we would bare all the consequences of joining the activities.. emergency contact was needed as well, bla bla....... which kind of keep ur heart stop pumping for a lil while after signing it..

we got quite lucky as it was a sunny day without much of the clouds~ so, it's a clear day wher we can hv a better view for the city~~~

when u're jumping out, everything's out... the pressure's on the ears, strong wind, etc..
but it was fun!~ most expensive 5 minutes that i ever been thru for the moment..hahahax!

n there we go!!!~

Dare to do it??

First n laz singing on stage~

2010-12-08T22:40:00.007+08:00

yeap..that would be the sound of me n hadi~~
would most likely be my very first n laz to sing on stage =P

not really nicely done...wrong lyrics me >.<
but something worth for myself to remember =)))
a song called 'At the Beginning'
cheers~~~
zSHARE - sound2.wav

That's one of the dress bought in india~~ indian style r pretty cool actually..
argh!weight gained.....I KNOW!!!!

Escape to Capetown~

2010-12-06T15:49:00.002+08:00

It's the end of Nov when i first step to South Africa.. a very memorable trip..
had one almost 13 hours flight.. studied some history bout the place from Discovery books, places of interest and restaurant to dine,etc..
thought Capetown would be rather boring but ended up, it's a big surprise~~if u're very keen in photographing, takes pics of nice views..that would be the best place to go..

basically, it's a place where racism is very apparent.. the whites live in housing areas near the beach.. with nice view, high security system, 0.000 crime rates~
the blacks or to b known as lay man terms, coca cola, live in much more rural areas..some in the trucks, some just house made from woods or steel... they basically hv to be back to their home b4 sunset,after 6..else they would b imprison~ sounds ridiculous but that's how it is... and we don't really comment much bout how other countries live their life...
wel, fyi, janet jackson, brad pitt, etc, do hv one house near the beach though~ they're really richest of the rich ha... life's unfair at times >.<

that would be one of the example of their house..

didn't get to tk the black once...spending much of the time feeling sad for them~

one of the MUST go, would be table mountain

do you see what i see??
the Indian ocean and the sky is separated by a fine line and in btw the clouds~isn't it beautiful???

on the road, there're plenty of baboons....as what was taught, they r dangerous bcuz they're as smart as human..

next, would b heading to watch the seagulls, whales n dolphins~
unfortunately, whales and dolphins didnt turned out that day..
anyway, it's like a life National Geographic..

wine tasting, cheese tasting, chocolate tasting are available as well.. safari if u're interested in, shark feeding, etc.........
everything's in Capetown..had a great time =)

noticing a lot of penguins r in pairs.. and, got to know, they only hv one partner for their whole life time~~ isnt that SWEET??

learnt a lot bout taste of wines...but ahem..still, i prefer fruit juice~~ =P

get to know the cheese i like the most.. Cheddar

happy enough~ every day is like a gift... my job itself is a big pressie =)))

Of the StarSSS~~~

2010-10-08T00:37:00.008+08:00

went to the book shop today n found a book of regarding to the galaxy..then saw the word 'milky way'....like, i heard that before....!

well then if u see these two images, do you blif that they do exist??

trust me, they do...did some research n grab some pics from web..too bad cant prove by taking them myself..

but, there was someone trying to explain to me what milky way is about..n guess, i personally seen that already!
The Milky Way, or the galaxy, has many names in Punjabi, among them Akash Ganga (Ganga of the sky), and Gati-Dhuli (dust of the cow's hooves). According to a very popular myth, the Milky Way is a counterpart of the Ganga we know on earth.

Peoples in Eastern Asia believed that the hazy band of stars was the "Silvery River" of Heaven (Chinese: 銀河, Korean: eunha and Japanese: ginga). In one story, the stars Altair and Vega were said to be two lovers who were allowed to meet only once a year on the seventh day of the seventh month, when a flock of magpies and crows formed a bridge over the galactic river. That day is celebrated as Qi Xi, the Seventh Night (Chinese: 七夕, Korean: chilseok and Japanese: tanabata).

In Egyptian mythology, the Milky Way was considered a pool of cow's milk. It was deified as a fertility cow-goddess by the name of Bat

In the Hindu collection of stories called Bhagavata Purana, all the visible stars and planets moving through space are likened to a dolphin that swims through the water, and the heavens is called śiśumãra cakra, the dolphin disc. The Milky Way forms the abdomen of the dolphin and is called Akasaganga which means "The Ganges River of the Sky"

While the Xhosas believe that the Milky Way are the bristles of an angry dog, the most popular African myth attributes their existence to a strong-willed African girl. This girl became so angry when her mother refused to give her any more delicious roasted root that she grabbed the roots that were roasting on a nearby fire and threw their ashes into the sky. The red and white ashes became the red and white stars that make up the Milky Way.

interesting yea~~

n,forget bout that,i actually seen shooting stars as well..!!
if you wanna pretend the airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars, dont be~ cause it always occur in few minutes time....sooOO,u could make a wish now~~ *wink*
unforgettable scene n i wish i could see them again =)))
lucky me...n of course, lucky 'him'~

World's getting bigger~

2010-10-07T22:51:00.021+08:00

Since I hv a 5 great days to spare in India, nothing better to do than to spend time watch movies n sleep....maybe it's time for some more posts here??

there're lots of things i wanted to share, but not all that i can tell~
so, just forget about work n perhaps spend more time to look into the world...in a closer view~~

LONDON? a trip that will never be forgotten..
just got to know Madonna's there, lots of movies scene were taken there, narrator of Winnie the Pooh is there,etc..
heard enough of prince and princess from tv but it gets so real when u're there..cuz there're really palace there, lots of their history...
for the rich n famous, to own one private garden for their own..
Life's plainly simple from what i seen but of wealth~
n, the windows of residence is subject to taxes~ weird~~

one of the palace

change of God

Eye

most disappointing, London Bridge~

n tower bridge~

Beijing, Shanghai...the thing i remember the most....r the ppl~

will never wanna forget this scene~cuz, that's the very first tim i had to walk out alone n with time limit, to grab something that i left bhind due to my forgetfulness....
n of course, the very first time to realize im allergy to certain allergen...n hv yet to go for blood tests for further checks....yea, lk one of the 'adult' scolded me..i still never think lk an adult to b able to tk care of myself well...

same for Korea~things that made the impressions r the ppl,n the food~

the long built church

the garden, with very steep staircase~

kimchi soup~~

mini golf in hotel

n not to forget, the cheap facial products~~

Indo, like what one of the Penangist said, it felt a bit like Penang...maybe of the road signs..mayb of the tv channels...

not well developed country...train's track can go wrong way, ppl walking here n ther, atap houses...but not as ulu as well...

SYDNEY??get to meet joe,xinyun, n yenfong~~~
everything still felt lk ytd...lk we played for bands and all~but,we grow old d... >.< couldnt deny the fact..sobs~

mixture of lots of culture...dangerous to walk alone at nite~~~~

India, not that i don wanna describe but..............sigh~
anyways, din expect books here r cheap,so~

jiang jiang~~thought of buying more....but,better save up for other stuf yea~

lil things that the house keeping did was to fold the blanket in shapes for bathroom floor n my bed~sweet~~
bout to turn 21 very soon...n im guessing it's going to be a pretty lonely, sad, n scary celebration....sighness x 10000000 times!!
anyway, spare lots of money for my ownself till i dunno which is actually my bday present for myself d...so, i shall be pretty grateful for what i hv though~the one i would probably like the most is going to b canon g12..
n so far, is the nike shoes i guess~ spent hundreds for nike stuff....but,aint starting to work out YET..muahaha!

=)))

2010-08-08T02:47:00.002+08:00

Anaphylactic shock is a particularly severe form of allergic reaction, which may be fatal if not rapidly and properly cared for. The allergens which may bring on anaphylactic shock are varied, and in some cases even a trace amount of the allergen is enough to trigger full anaphylactic shock. Because of its extremely quick action, anaphylactic shock is responsible for many deaths in the United States and worldwide. It is estimated that more than 400 people die each year in the United States from anaphylactic shock brought on by insect stings, and more than 125 people die each year as a result of food allergies.

The symptoms of anaphylactic shock are varied, but may often include such things as a constriction of the airway, light-headedness and fainting, swelling of the neck and face, itching and low blood pressure. A constricted airway, caused by a constriction of the bronchiole walls, is the most common cause of death in cases of anaphylactic shock. This will often occur within minutes of contact with the responsible allergen, and unless emergency assistance is on hand or very nearby, there is little one can do to restore air flow.

i basically had all the symptoms.. n i know it's the egg that causes me the allergy reactions..does that mean i am not suppose to tk eggs for the rest of my life? gosh......consulting doc to hv the allergy test would be risky..SO doesnt make sense that i develop it in a age of 21..ish!
OR no food for me when im in China~ going to starve over ther yea~GREAT!

Mobile~

2010-06-28T00:59:00.002+08:00

Went back home again
This sucks gotta pack up and leave again
Say goodbye to all my friends
Can't say when I'll be there again
It's time now to turn around
Turn my back on everything
Turn my back on everything...

Everything's changing when I turn around
All out of my control, I'm a mobile
Everything's changing when I turn around
All out of my control, I'm a mobile

Start back at this life
Stretch myself back into the vibe
I'm waking up to say I've tried
Instead of waking up to another T.V. Guide
It's time now to turn around
Turn and walk on this crazy ground

Everything's changing when I turn around
All out of my control, I'm a mobile
Everything's changing Out of what I know
everywhere I go, I'm a mobile

Yeah, everywhere I go I'm a mobile

Hanging from the ceiling
Life's a mobile
Spinning 'round with mixed feelings
Crazy and wild
Sometimes I wanna scream out loud...

stil love her~~isnt she cool? =)

Ho Chiak!!

2010-05-09T09:48:00.012+08:00

went for lots of delicious food lately!~
fri night itself...went Murni in PJ, which is highly recommended by ppl over ther..
fuiyo~~ really really really nice!
Love Roti Hawaii~~ n their drinks! very special kind of dishes that u can't get it from other place..

that's nasi lemak ayam goreng...may sounds nothing special..but the chili and ayam taste diff from others~ =)
BUT.....FATS!!!!~

Next stop...warehouse sales in the morning!~
woke up early in the morning for this warehouse sales in Grand Millennium Hotel~
those crazy shoppers r CRAZY~~

the crowd in front of the ballroom....

queue til out of the hotel~ >.<

went Pavilion shopping afterwards~

okay...that's weird for us to do that~~ but,how many odd things we can do some more in the future?? =P

Lunch---> Dragon i~ with good services..

the appetizer~

tried xiu long bau there~not bad as well =)

continue shop shop shop!~
then night...switch to the stop i've been waiting for---> Bubba Gump!!~
which carries concept from a movie, Forrest Gump~
Band's member would know this..cuz we played the songs b4 =)

yea, let's go!

no pic for the food~afraid that u all might salivate~~ hahahax..no lar..it's all with ke xin~ perhaps will see the rest of the pic soon..kekeke!

skipped the swimming lesson on that day itself...sigh~
n yea, as u can see..i gained weight!! lots of MUSCLE WEIGHT!!! T.T
been practicing to swim a lot lately in just 2 weeks time... sobs...
some more ate that much..

swimming class is fine..coach is fine.. the trainer he hired is fine as well..
the first day went for registration,sue asked him to teach me well so that i can grab the whole idea n b able to swim after 2 weeks..
the coach was lk extremely strict.. telling me if im aware that cabin crew is what i wanna do, i should learn it a lot earlier n not now... bla bla bla >.<
made lots of mistakes in the progress T.T
n last fri he was lk..good Vivienne, that's it..kick harder Vivienne...kekeke!
i shouldnt be too overconfident that im a fast learner yea...
cuz if i din...i wont gain that much of muscle weight n wouldnt need to train myself that hard...!
but it's great..starting to learn butterfly style now...though free style still very cacat..!

that's all for the day~~

Good days ahead!

2010-05-04T11:46:00.002+08:00

Dear dairy,
I coulndn't hv been more wrong.
I thought that I could smile, and nod my way through it..
pretend like it would all be okay~

I had a plan,
I wanted to change who I was;
create a life as someone new,
Someone without the past,
without pain;
Someone alive~

But it's not that easy.
The bad things stay with you.
They follow you
You can't escape them,
as much as you want to.

All you can do is be ready for the good
So when it comes, you invited it in,
because you need it
I need it!~

--The Vampire Diaries

END~

2010-04-26T01:06:00.014+08:00

lots of things happened lately...
met lots of different types of ppl as well....
been started to be rude with ppl that i dont lk either....
hv i changed?? hv i got tired???
but then again, learnt a lot, n some really gave me good advises.. some taught me how cruel a person could be, so that im more well prepared to face such a person if i get to meet them in future....

anyways~ ther goes the end of my working life!~
the rest of the days would be plainly spending n resting =)

REXONA, 5/2-13/2

(no pic from MIFF)
2/3-6/3

AVIRA, 22/3-28/3

DIGI, 12/4-20/4

Eucerin, 21/4-24/4

March itself was very relaxing as the work r with high pay yet short working time...
but, April was CRAZY!!! 10 to 10.. working place's far.. need to settle with house moving n ran bac to pg, etc...
ahem...im the one who squeeze everything in a time actually~ cant lament too much =)
speaking of that, it finally ENDS~!!! the three months itself should be a long chap in my life~~
anyhow..there were plenty of events follows up actually, lk beauty fair, Home Dec, more on digi iphone promo, etc~ for those who still looking for jobs...gamabate ba!!

too much of things that i had to deal with lately, but everything somehow go wrong in the right way i guess..
just, the worst part, a fren of mine was not happy n he thought im irresponsible~ but, fine... don think i need to explain or what-so-ever.. if he und me, n care bout the friendship, he would hv work on it... helped them settle the things they left bhind... just wish that despicable kinda owner would leave us alone!
but somehow, it really does break my heart...cuz i've been trying my best to do whatever i can..it's never fair to me as we were in the same condition n nobody tried to do anything n then in the end put me blame on me..sigh!~

went for Kelly Clarkson's concert.. she sing n dance with barefoot...
it was more or less lk a sharing of her thoughts n music~
b4 she sang the song Bcause of u, she said 'it was a song i wrote when i was a lil kid, never thought it would reach msia anyway, hope u guys enjoy~'
plus her vocal n everything, it was a bit touchy....

having this 2 weeks time for me to settle the rest of the things...
jia you!!!

sim tia...........

2010-04-20T23:05:00.011+08:00

yea..sim tia..T.T lost hundred bucks today, for no reason...so careless! =(
finished my 10 days work for DIGI in pavilion on mon...
went back penang today early in the morning..
n went back kl in the evening after settle with all the med report n posting them to spore..
spent a lot for the day..yet, leave some penny for nobody...sad larr...

going for another job tmr in midvalley..

what's wrong with me ha..
things just went on and on..and i just let it be~ follow the flows.. not being able to make any judgments nor be in the conscious state to safe guard of my belongings...
darn!~

call me superwomen for working 10 days from 10 to 10..
call me superwoman to go and back from kl to pg at the same day..
and call me superwomen to continue working afterwards....
call me superwoman again as i need to move out by 25th when i need to work from 10 to 10 again..
and YET found any rooms for myself......................

overall..
blUR~~~~~~~~~

been following this fb's daily horoscope~found them quite interesting..

17/4,
when i got the mail from spore...felt lk giving up..told ppl no one und me well...been striving for nothing..almost lack of energy to fight for myself anymore~
here goes..

Today, and to some degree the entire Mercury retrograde period, is about the willingness to try and try again, Libra. It seems that, scientist or not, your life right now is about trial and error learning. This could have something to do with programming code you cannot... find the correct reference for, or trying to get someone to understand you. Whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish is likely to be something you've attempted before and are attempting again with a fresh approach. Success may come in a way you don't expect.

18/4,
when i receive a cal from yk asking me to work on 21-25..and had to work til 20th as i promised with DIGI..ended up, couldnt make it for med check up..

This next few weeks could be a time of transition for you, Libra, and today seems to be the beginning stage, where you reassess and inventory in order to organize what you need to move on to the next step. You've apparently gone far enough with the well known aspects of... progress, and are ready to face the unknown now. This does take courage, but you must also realize that in order to regenerate the enthusiasm and physical energy you've lost over time, you need to "do your own thing"; not someone else's.

19/4,

Try your best not to get caught up in being judgmental today, Libra. The situation today will not fare well being held within rigid boundaries. Having a fixed idea of their being a right and wrong way of doing things will only blind you to the best way to accomplish you...r goals. You might be in a serious or critical mood, but rather than seeing everything in terms of good and bad, think more along the lines of "I don't like it" or "I like it" and let them be opinions, not laws.

--->ended up,i din went for the interview nor training,yet, they still willing to hire me..so i din lost the job~ sun's off was canceled and i only need to work til 19th~so that i can settle whatever tat i needed to do on tues~ met anson, n he might be able to provide me a room to stay afterwards as i need to move out by 25th...

20/4,
when i finally in pg..rush here n ther so that everything could get done..

Today you could decide to take a “wait and see” approach to a decision you need to make, Libra. It's time for a change and you know it, you've even talked about it according to the planets. Since an opportunity period is running all day long, this would be the perfect time to stop talking and do it. By paying close attention to what's going on around you, you may find a clue or signal that lets you know when to go into action. Timing is all important today; don't delay any decisions.

hopefully my decisions were not wrong~~

went for Dr Oh today again..brought mum along..
i was asking him to just be honest in the report as i don wanna b kicked out if i made it yet failed in spore's check up..
obviously seen he's trying his best..he stil told me things could be twisted..no worries~ sigh...im clearly worrying.......!
when he talked to mum, 'we'l see what we can do, to let her dream comes true', 'u hv a very wonderful child,she's nice...' and he has been repeating tat ther's surgery available called PKR, one type of laser but not LASIK..
i just....speechless..din talked much with him today, as im stil so darn BLUR..
but i think he seems to b very happy to meet me again..
could do nothing for him right now..but clearly feel very thankful~

had a debate with mum as well in the car today~we were lk splitting out what-so-ever~since i had a cold war with her previously..
everythin bac to normal now~happy to see her again~
n she msg me "eh,tk care"
was lk so happy.. =)

Chew Shi Fung 17th April:
I guess he's really tired today. He didn't even wake up when the nurses shifted him to change the bandages and all. Had slight fever on and off but still ok. His eyes looks lot better when I see the nurse opens his eyes. Lets don't lose hope or worry. Give him the strength by showing our spirit!

Chew Shi Fung 19th April:
His condition is stable with no fever. He grabed a bit tighter when I asked whether he heard me. Only once. The rest was just a peaceful storytelling. He's a bit nervous I guess, when we talked to him that he can't respond, which made his heartbeat rise. Well, let us not be dispirited by time ^^

Chew Shi Fung 20th April:
He follows ur instruction 2 open n close his eyes twice though he couldn't quite control his limbs. Sleepy but we can c his eyes focused, looking at the photos shown. Dr. said he's improving ^^v

im nothin compared to him right...
shi long...jia you!!!!!

~END~

Digi day 7

2010-04-16T23:43:00.004+08:00

woohoo~~day 7 dy..fast isnt it??3 more days left!!!
at the very first place, working for this event is never been ideal to me. At first i thought of not getting any jobs and focus on the things i shall do for the moment. Ended up, i promised to get involve as i've wasted some of the money on the application thingy. Plus, they were saying this external fees for the paper's going to be around 3k...sigh~

get a lot of the complaints itself by working for the first two days. It was completely chaos.. lots of customers, nobody to guide me, etc..
no joke man..customers in pavilion was lk having the worst attitude i've ever seen. Waited for 5 min, they ad start complaining. Mentioned one particular mistake, they were lk wanna find and talk to the person in charge.. T.T
And i did 2 serious mistakes... one is to ask customer to terminate their line >.< (by doing so, they cant keep the number they wan)
second, is to ask one local to pay for deposits as i thought they were foreigners... sigh~~so sad..
long working hours, low pay, lousy customers, no commission... but, what to do~

anyhow, i stil enjoyed the process as the workers there are nice, part timers there were fun too!
the center employed a security from Nepal (Bhesh), quiet but deep down inside he would lk to play wit us too.. seriously feel lk laughing when think about him..he's cute man...very funny~
n this kakak to clean the place...lk to joke around too~
Met MayC, a model girl and all the youngsters... they were really young man..felt lk i really aged so much d...sobs!!

and yea, finally get the reply from them.. but still need to do further check up...again, gotta reject bac the job i got previously.. can't go interview for Home Dec n beauty fair d too..
frustrate in some way.. it's lk i make ppl blacklist me only.. plan n organized things so well d, then hv to dismantle all by myself...
but the good thing is, i alwez get surprise..and would b able to fix them =)

As u guys know, Shi Long has been admitted to the hospital for weeks since 1st of April wher he met an accident in the journey back from KL to PG..
read this post from my fren on his current condition :

Chew Shi Fung 四月十五日
"他今天进步很多了^^ 除了给他听音乐，叫他时也会给反应，精神也不错。下午一点至两点，当我叫他‘如果听见的话，眨眼’，重复后他慢慢的闭上眼睛然后张开 =）也动脚趾告诉我他听见。下午五点至七点，他睡得很舒服，只是还有少许痰。Lung and eye infection 都有好转，现在不用机器，自己呼吸了。请大家支持他继续加油，不用太着急。感谢前来探望还有留言的亲戚朋友！"

Chew Shi Fung 16th March:
He slept through the usual 1 to 2pm. Semi-concious but the responce he gave is much faster and immediate than yesterday. Good news is, he doesn't have fever anymore. ^^ He blinks fast, smiles, or somewhat raised his lips when my aunt asked whether he heard the message I read from Yen Yen =D Cheers and believe in his strong will!

Shi Long was a role model in Jit Sin..a role model for all of us actually...
almost hv my tears drop.. how dramatic is that right? and how fragile life we hv...guys, plz do appreciate ur friends and family members that u care for~
hope he wil b fine..and wake up asap!!!

stay strong!!!

currently just get to know the MTV of Bad Romance from Lady Gaga actually carries some meaning...felt lk she's so tough and brave..one word for her from me 'YENG'!!

tats all for the day...3 more days shuang..gambate!!

无奈

2010-04-09T20:11:00.004+08:00

if nothing goes wrong, im going to start work tmr lu...
yea,very fast..here i say wanna start getting a job, the next day itself,im going to start working d...
been terribly shed some tears lately...for some reasons...
played many characters lately too... ppl treat me lk as if im agent.. if really for the one i care about im fine... but come on, who i am to u guys o? sigh..
n ern...i dunno why too,ppl lk to ask me out for trying to get me into direct sales nowadays~
of course im happy that ppl would ask me out,etc..but ended up disappointing..

if you're really a good fren of mine... please la, shuang don lk those kind of things..
im not some kind of human beings that would easily b influenced and i definitely dont lk ppl to tell me and make me blif in what they blif either...
what am i now? a girl with no brains to think on my own? what books u read la, what major things u cared about la...duhh~~ u ever know what books im reading and do u hv the right to judge and gv me opinions when i just met u lk few minutes???
show some respect...! that's the major diff btw those with a good position in a company with a qualification with those who get a career simply by the way they speak...
i know i shouldnt say anything..but can i juz split it out in my own space here?? i dunno whether those tat involve in this field would hv seen my blogs..if offended plz do forgive..that's juz my personal opinions..

first of all, the tech that they wil use is to say they wanna share this marvelous kind of things with their best pal, which is y u r ther with them that day..i've heard the more immature way is that they say don wish to see u being jobless few yrs from now, cuz ther would b another crisis, bla bla~~
then after some yrs, u would see them saying... oh no, this career is not really my future, seeing them starting to find the main purpose of their life...

second, they would tel u how important money is...lk as if this whole world only can runs with money... hell,yea.. part of the reason,this is true.. but then again...as if i don hv other alternatives to find a way to get those money..

third.. most of them who involve in this would say they don lk being a worker, a slave of money.. don lk to b restricted, 9 to 6 each days.. prefer to work from home, etc... so, u basically hv all ur time to do ur stuf... juz some of the time u spend by hypnotizing ppl on ur thoughts... but, that's the life that u wan?? is that really THAT challenging to u?i can easily find a job which carries more meaning than this lo...

forth, many of them sacrifice their studies for this kind of things.. im fine for that actually.. cuz i've really seen a high skol dropout who proves education is not tat important.. but how many of Malaysians could do that??

AND...
if u're really someone who really knows to think BIG, wanna earn this millions and trillions of dollars, i think u would find a way to build one of this kind of company ur own than b one of their ppl...if u dont,sorry..u're still forever a worker..

i can see how LB destroy a person's future... but, each time i walk from klcc to pavilion, i see their office is stil ther, they r stil well established in other countries since 90 centuries.. why?? cuz without that person, ther're still plenty in this world who would blif in them... will they really care bout u?hardly...

for me still, whatever that u do, if u put in enough efforts, u lk what u're doing, work hard enough, the things u wan would eventually comes.. it's not all about the brand that u trust dude...
somehow i feel.. those who involve in this got a bit lack of confidence in the thing that they would achieve.. isnt it so?

and why do i hv to talk so much??no ideas...
i just lk to be harsh recently....
see, im rude again... slap me plz..
but i sincerely think they might success in some days though.... IF they do hv that high motivation and intelligence and willing to work hard i guess...bcuz the world somehow works tat way~
what can i say? best of luck to them i gues~

odd~

my tongue......

2010-04-05T09:44:00.003+08:00

woke up late today when i suppose to b early so that i would manage to hang out and do not expose to the sun much since im stil in the process of reviving~
but its so darn hot now...and i stil need to go out by today...
realized the condition of my tongue is getting worse and that kinda bothers me a little...
went online..and guess this is my case then~

Patches on the tongue are generally caused by a condition called geographic tongue due to the map-like appearance of the tongue. This condition occurs because of the presence of uneven patches that develop on the tongue. The upper part of the tongue is made up of papillae which are small projections on the surface. When a person is inflicted with geographic tongue, smooth red patches form on the surface of the tongue. These patches are surrounded by a grayish white border. The red patches have a dearth of papillae, while the borders are overloaded with them. These patches do not have definite shapes, may last for a few hours or days, and may appear and disappear indefinitely. They are often accompanied by pain. A burning or tingling sensation, numbness and fissures are also characteristic of the condition. People who are sensitive to various allergens or who suffer from eczema or asthma are prone to the condition and therefore they need to be extra cautious. Stress, vitamin deficiencies and hormonal changes can also cause geographic tongue.

Geographic tongue......stress,malnutrition and hormonal changes....

SIGH....!

天空与星星

2010-04-04T18:43:00.009+08:00

传说很久很久以前，
世界有颗星星，和一片深蓝的天空；
天空是星星唯一的依靠，而星星是天空唯一的点缀。

有一天，
星星问天空：
我永远都是你唯一的星星吗？
天空回到它说：
我会永远守护着你，直到你找到合适你的天空。

随着时间的流逝，
天空开始有了越来越多的星星；
那颗星星觉得天空已经快容纳不下它了。

于是有一天，
化作流星伤心的院落。

可是，它并不知道对于天空而言，
永远都有它的位置~~

sounds familiar??
well...found this quite interesting and hence felt lk sharing them~ =)
there are certain period in our lifetime, it may happens tat way~ there're ppl who's fairly important yet to them they may not seems important and hence chose to step out of ur life...emo~~~ hahax...

yes,i'm emo... the only thing i can do now is to sleep and eat, watch drama and post some blogs...
never been this sick since long time ago d~
dizzy dizzy~heavy head and body...barely able to move around much.. T.T
it's certainly pathetic not having ppl to tk care of me at this point isnt it?
sick yet din hv my proper meals.... aiks!~
and my tongue hurts....! perhaps due to malnutrition or over heat d~
NO IDEA~~

tmr need to travel all the way to damansara...hopefully i will recover by then..!

HAIH~and yea..ther may be certain period of time..i wil still wish when i reach a certain location, someone's waiting at the other side for my return...
how stupid i can go...
sighness~~

MONDAY

2010-03-29T16:07:00.015+08:00

okay guys.....so,here i am, to finally admit and tel out what actually happened to me lately which caught me to be so emo..

it's the day, 27th of March, the Sat that i mentioned im going to try up something i yearn for so many yrs....it's actually an interview by Spore Airlines..
i never ever really dare to spread the news around that im going..not trying to brag here,but i seriously just having a thought of going to gain experience in interviewing..
the strongest urge to be an air stewardesses was actually in my secondary school's year,think was in form 4 or 5~ a girl, Shafinaz knew i had the same aim with her..she came to me n asked to join her try it up..
honestly, i never really think im ready for that at the moment,so i rejected~ cuz,come on, i'm still 17 years old tat time..my educational level juz spm..i definitely wont be satisfied with that..
but then again, she made it..n she's now a cabin crew for Kuwait Airlines..went to lots of places already too~

and hence, life goes on and on....til i finished my diploma year in Tarc with internal scholarships...and what i know at that moment was to get another scholarships to pursue further..so i got it, Star Education Fund..then i told my mum,yes, save some money again, so why not cont..its not tat im bad in academic performance..

until then.........3 months of internships..caught me~~i din join the intern cuz it's not something that shuang likes to do..i wil get very damn bored with them probably after a month.
so i went on to b freelance...
having thought i could enjoy working play around with my skills and improve further..

tis particular guy, JH came to me n told me his fren made her dream came true to join SIA, she tried lk 3 times.. mayb u should just go and gain some experience..not only him, Shenny (a girl i knw in MIFF) told me so too..so, im lk, y not?
i thought it's going to be fast as i wil be eliminated fast,probably first few stages..thinking,i stil could make it to work for Avira that day~

but hell no, i got in stage by stage, things getting to be quite nervous as it was lk first round, 6 out of 10 were eliminated..n those r really wel verse in talkin, pretty or handsome type of ppl..n ern, the elimination process is more or less lk american next top model.. >.< they wil say..the name tat i cal, plz follow me, the rest tat i don, plz try again next time......LOL~

there were lk 3 main stages, which contains lots of other minor stages inside..one by one im through..just, never expect i wil be through till they say im selected out of that thousands of candidates...
n now..what should i do then?i loan from Tarc,i receive scholarships award from Star, i will be graduating soon...why am i so not patient to follow the way my plans work?
i told mum...just kill me then..im pretty scared right now~

just lk any other mentioned..this is going to be a life changing experience..
n..it's really aint easy to gone so far..i mean, there were really loads of them who tried again and again hoping that they could get in...

yes, im emo! =( din went for college today..dunno how to start my conversation with adviser....

it's just a day for me to rest well n face it tmr then...

by the way~finished job in lowyat d~got quite some offer afterwards too..but guess everything should stop,to have me figuring what i should do then...
Shenny was right though...as long as i make a decision that i wont be regret of..no turning back..i cant look bac either~

anyways..happy to know lots of good n pretty gals by working for Avira too~n those staf in Evernew...they're having some very positive spirits that i can see =)
big round of applause to all of us~!going to miss u guys....

bunch of good frenz~especially ah Ying~born in same yr,month n date wit me..she owns good personality~ =)

that's Aurora~

the robot..who sexually offense all of the girls..ended up gotta apologize to all of us..pity for him too~

=)

Dear diary..

2010-03-28T08:49:00.003+08:00

Dear diary..something good & bad happened ytd..
din posted ytd cuz im still not in the position to judge or decide..not even now..

did i ever comment on human beings..when u see something u wan it badly,n when it's right in front of u awaiting u to accept, then wil start to think whether it's good for ur own?
n gosh...im lk tat right now......juz feel lk screaming out loud ytd,yet, cant spread the news around cuz i really dunno wat im goin to decide...SERIOUSLY!

i know it's something that i hv dream about for so long..i know too many gals wanted it badly yet i got it in just first attempt......n i stil don und y...why????arent they suppose to reject me n say i could improve on tis n tat then come bac later?ish..........
from 930am to 7pm's interview..it's a bit crazy though..n when im in,stages by stages,i got so excited to know what's next..
n when i really got it...im lk,oh shit...am i dreaming now........

AIKS~~~~~~

seriously now with anyone's advice also kinda bother me a little..cuz in the end of the day,it's stil my own life..
is this really good enough for myself? am i really that meant to be??

n stupid,im tied up by so many contracts on hand.....wat's the consequences by then.. =(
going to college for more advice tmr.....

Shuang's seriously in fear n LOST!

Avira day 4..

2010-03-25T22:12:00.013+08:00

staring at the post sites figuring what i wanna post for the day...... i really got so emo~~so many things that happened,too many ppl to meet, too many new friends to be with, etc..

how to say? n, wher to start???
from day one perhaps?
i got this job.. seriously somehow got 'cheated' in some ways.. short pants, jacket plus singlet it seems... became a tube inside.. which im quite mad about.. seriously, wearing uniform which don look lk promoter at all.. more to lk show gal, n they should seriously pay us more!! plus all other work lk ushering, modeling etc...they all complained~but i dont think it wil work anyways...

i really duno how to describe how i feel la... it's just, working ther, i got a lot of other job opportunities lk those really educated type of ppl say im good in something, they would be very respectful to u, not asking contacts or to flirt around..n when they say u're smart, u seems to know what u're doing very wel, u're intelligent, those type of positive comments...juz enlightens my day...

of course im happy...but how much of ppl really look into ur inside than ur outside???
those stupid malays, ham sap type of ppl alwez look at u..say something which is extremely offensive..............that i juz got so mad..!
so mad that i started to brag n talk a bit too much, asked a bit too much from customers now..
yes, i felt regret for what i hv done today.. n fine, what past had past..promised i wont repeat that anymore! REALLY do~

juz damn shock tat any strangers could recognise me n cal my name..it's lk im in the society for some tim d..u can say i hv lots of connections now,n ppl really do remember my name n face..! it's something good as wel as bad..

haiz..n yes,i alwez say im impressed with how wel manners foreigners r..hope to hv frenz or bf lk them~
but i gues now i know..not from the one i know when im workin for job lk tis i gues~
got so inbalanced after few days working ther that it seems im not myself anymore~
but that's wat i wan..
i still know how to differentiate what is good n bad.. still knows how to pursue to be the SHuang i wanna be.. need not to worry anyways =)

but how i see myself 5 yrs from now, a ques that was being asked, that i answered spontaneously yet with doubts deep in my own heart..to really join some fields that i've got totally no idea with? or to do what im expert in which ad spent few yrs studying?

Sat im going to try something i really yearns for so many yrs ago..n to this point, i really dunno what i wish for.. whether want them to tel me im in? or no, im not quialified....

3 days to go..
wish sun ends as fast as it could...............

Undecisive...

2010-03-20T10:04:00.020+08:00

gotta make up my mind asap to either continue to be a freelancer or to go for full time based d la wei......
sigh sigh~~ full time based of course have their own advantage.. but having thought of that, it's just like so not me.. =( so not going???

ytd went for a job interview near my condo. It was something new as they tested some others skills of mine which never done by other company, which is my typing + reading skills. LOL~ anyway, the typing master test, i got a 34 (dunno the unit) for speed and 98% accuracy..hahahax! lousy one.. then they passed a long paragraph asked me to read out loud >.< gotta wait 2 days for their reply, but instinct told me i got the job. The funny part is, the event is stil, DSA. Just, by diff company dealing with diff stuf.

went midvalley afterwards, n they're havin this alice's thingy going on~u guys should go anyway..they will hv a 15min show by all the characters in the movie..it just felt so alive =) the one i saw was on 7pm.. the rest im not sure~ n no pic to share...sOrRY~

this month ended up too bored as i only worked for 2 fairs. But........... my pay's just exactly the same as those of full time based, ern, mayb a lot more extra....so can i just don go?? aiks!anyhow, ander's coin shown, i shouldnt go... muahahah~ hmm... hope that's something wise.

i'm having like 5 6 jobs on hand which they havent confirm with me the dates, trainings, etc... has this particular job to involve in some kind of international meeting which suppose to be held end of the month, they pay me 150 per hour~ but, clients are now stuck in bangkok... ish!!!~
can't they just work a bit more efficient so that i can plan the whole month's schedule? =(
seriously, i really felt like wanna start the fyp dy... trust me, i do~~

eye shadow~

blush blush~

and............

DONE!! (NO, it's not my foundation of bb cream.. it's the effect of light plz~)

i know.....lAmE~~

*posted more on pic lately..gues it'l b a lot better for those who don lk to read~
n sorry tat ther's no columns for u guys to comment too.. had some positive replies from frenz via msg or msn.. thanks for the support anyway..shuang will cont to b tough n happy =)

btw, if u guys accidentally saw wat i posted in fb, sorry tat im a bit rude.... wat i wanna do now is, to smile and accept, though i really don und y they acted that way...
ther're ppl in tis world who just know to say i wan i wan!! but yet when i gv what they wan, they wil start to doubt, oh no, is this something good, am i really suppose to go? ---->speechless~
there's tis particular group too, who regardless of what's happening, they just want u to listen to them n agree with them... (mostly those past 40)
ther's also also tis particular group who only knows to WAIT for something good to happen to them as they din do anything to get them~
also, there're ppl who know a little, yet, act lk as if they're very damn resourceful.. yea rite, they just know EVERYTHING~ (mostly those immature type of guy)

GREAT~dont und stil....
plz, dont act lk one of them.. although i think it's kinda normal.. just try not to act that way lk perhaps 10 tim, just once la k?

CONCLUSION: human are still selfish at some point yea~

SHOES

2010-03-17T17:09:00.028+08:00

just came back a job interview by Avira~ got the job, going to start working next week lur..
din went for another interview ytd by Ape Ideas.. dunno whether it's im too pig to go out, or.. don't lk the job.. or im tired.. or i basically hate the location of that office.. 800 flies~~ but its fine... whatever it is...
anyway, im soOO obedient today, came back home early, b4 sunset~~muahaha..! hv no idea why too.. these few days not really feeling well, can't hang out much.. but carrying 3 heavy pack of stuffs back from Jusco.. suddenly feel kinda pathetic without someone else as company.. gotta carry them all the way back to GK.. T.T .. sometim to work alone also felt kinda lonely ha.. but wher am i suppose to find a girl with the same thinking n same attitude lk i am in TarC... hardly...

hmm.. since today im wearing heels here n ther, bit emo with the shoes thingy~
dunno whether it's the same for most of the girls..
do ur heels last?? seriously??
mine.. spoil the second or third time i wear them.. i mean, MOST of them!
not only did they spoil, it hurts too.. bad quality type of heels ha~

from Vincci.. no doubt bout the low quality of the shoes~

don't und why they gain good response from the market in Msia either..

from Steps..

only wore them twice~

Vincci again~

haha... honestly, why am i buying from this brand anyway >.<

bought this from TANGS when the heels were too painful..hahaha!

from Nichii..

worse too.. since they dont hv heels, it cracked inside..

from Opera~

bought to support ah boon~

but, not comfy at all..

aunty type of heels..

ahem... this is the only one im satisfy with~~~
BRAVO!
big round of applause to STUDIO from TANGS!

wore it bout 4 5 times d.. still in tip top condition~
but then again.. ori price 200++..
but to me,
they only look nice at nite~

the rest are still fine.. some i bought them just for the sick of they look nice on me.. there's this one tim i bought a size 4 heels when im actually size 6 >.<>

anyhow.. i did mentioned this b4..
really really REALLY hv no idea why ppl lk to wear heels with the price tags on.. aiks!

END~~

going to cancel the job in pg lur.. finally got to realize we gotta b a bit selfish when it comes to own benefits..
lk i tried to be responsible and went for the genting job by rejecting a lot of other opportunities which offer me better pay.. in the end of the day, genting job still can't work..
so that's what im doing now.. =)

that's me..
with my chubby face n long hair now.......
feel lk cutting them each days!!!!!

mayb i will... very soon~~

Genting genting~

2010-03-14T20:08:00.027+08:00

hm.... what to say~ i'm back from genting today..
yaya, 7 days' work became a one nite stay's trip.. lalala~ what a joke!
i know i know.. to ran away was not so appropriate, bit irresponsible..
i know too, boss actually recognized me, many of the managers know me~~ by doing so, i wil get blacklisted by TANGs forever.. T.T

it's been very long while since i acted so irresponsible dy.. i tried..
the night b4 going to genting, cant fall asleep! slept at 3, woke at 6.. whole journey in the car was torturing.. by the time i reach, strong nausea..!
they din arrange everything well for us either.. i gotta put my luggage in guys' room n head to GLCC to start work..
work was relaxing.. im in a counter with a seat, as customer service , in charge of dip n win thingy..

then fine, everything went well... from 11am starts work til 12am~ which is still fine..
15 minutes bac to our hostel on foot, still fine.. but, i still din get my room's key!
temporary stay with the guys.. luckily clement was ther..
walk up n down waiting for my roommie to come..
the apartment was creepy!!!
after two hours, which is 2am, she finally reached!
mine was separated with the guys, but im the only chinese and some rooms were occupied by unknowns which supposingly by workers of TANGs..
and of course, the facilities, bed all i dont hv to further describe d.. at that time, strong urge that i wanna head back to my home.. but it's late at night.. n i was too tired.. 'luckily' i was tired~ else, i would hv some creepy nightmares which i alwez hated to hv..

the next morning, still in dilemma whether to continue or to leave.. then, clement told one of the part timers ad gone! at that time, i realized i shouldnt be guilty of leaving.. even a guy also cant stand the condition, why should i pretend to b tough n continue?
but we did told the person in charge n explain clearly b4 we leave.. it's not totally that irresponsible right?

anyhow.. the first day itself, i spent a lot~ still happy that i finally found the book i wanna buy by Robert.. muahaha!~

had lunch with clement n the other guy (which i dunno his name) juz b4 we left..
then.. clement told me things that i din realized ytd night..
what i was afraid of was just those 'things' to appear that night right.. he just made me realized HUMANS are the one i should b aware of..
the apartment was full wit diff types of odd ppl..
when we went up in lift, ther was this one guy passing towel from 7th floor to a person in lift (chinese), then another malay with an indian gal were with him.. they head to 21th floor, n that guy told him, 7th floor is the office~ when he said that, i thought, ok, they hv a office.. n that's it..
THAT'S PROSTITUTION man!! why i just din know that? still blur blur.. ishh!
he also noticed ther's one guy havin affair with two gals, as he saw that guy been with two diff gal that nite..
ther were also ppl who got drunk in a gang, gangsters, etc, etc..
we were up n down for 2 hours.. that's wat he saw, n i know nothing.. which may or may not be good.. if i knew, perhaps i wont have the courage to stay overnight d..
was lucky that he was around anyhow..

Conclusion : girls still hv to stick in a group right? there're so many things that i could never able to do alone..

job that had been lookin forward, turns out to b something despairing.. aiks~ what can i say? feel so sorry to that gal in HR.. but i think she will und.. hopes she will~

3 months intern was suppose to be the time i enjoy working, find out my interest, bla bla..
how can it be this way? instead of finding things that would delights me, in juz a week, i encounter lots of dark side of the society..

when i was a kid, innocent kind of girl, to face the society by starting to work at the age of 15, i used to ask, why is it human has to be so complicated, why is it we like to compete with each other, do bad to each other, hurt each other, when we can spread the love, be like a 'human'..

now, when im bout to be 21 (ishh!! ad turn old =.="), i still can't find the ans...
mayb it's lk any other said, this is what known as NATURAL..

im not very emo now la... =) don't worry.. aint that weak~~
ad kinda got used to it..
clement said i should be happy.. at least, i know a lot more than others who never encounter things lk i did..
should i?? there are actually things that i rather not know..
but at least, i think they made me appreciate things that i have now, more than i used to be...

LiFe stILL gOeS oN!~~

PC fair soon...ppl used to ask me, why don't u be the model, earn a lot more, and can wear nice, look nice, u got what it takes to b, etc..
guess now u could know my ans d?
to hv brains, persuade customers to buy stuf from me is a lot more satisfying than to have thousands of ham sap eyes looking at me~~
to have ppl telling me im good in talking would be the thing i wil b happy to hear than to hv ppl saying im beautiful.... am i weird? i mean, gals should alwez please to hv ppl praising them leng~
still not sure which job i shall go for afterwards... i got tired d?? hmm...

emo day...

2010-03-11T23:21:00.010+08:00

went for another job interview today..
the event this time, DSA(Defense Services Asia)...at first i thought, wau~tats just great!
ther wil be 700 defences and security companies, ministry, armies, VIPs, VVIPs from all around Asia to come over...n im IN..! he say, u're inexperience, but full of potential.. bla bla bla.. said ther wil b 200 employees, separated with 3 groups, one at counter, one ushering, another one stays close to the VIPs, greet them in the lobby of their hotel, send them to the venue, from booth to booth, hall to hall, catch the time frame, liase with the officers, then send them back to the hotel~

at first i thought, nah, it will just be another job, not my prob at all..
but.. he told me ther's a remark made on my application.. n they wished to make me the semi model.. hmm.. that's the last thing i wish to hear....but expected,cuz he explained more on the laz category when we talked.. still, it seems exciting isnt it?? i mean u can see from TV also, those gal that lead those VIPs from places to places, make sure everything being well organised,etc..*pretty, elegant, n doing a very simple job* thats wat i thought~the hardest part would just b makin sure everythin follow on schedule, i know wher n when to lead them to...

then ther goes a big BOOM!~
he say, u know, as taking this job, u gotta tk care of ur own self, wanna hv fun with those famous kind of ppl also, know ur own limit.....then i goes, ok, he's bout to say somethin bad.....
but i din expect at the end of our conversation, he said, every yr, ther were gals ended up naked on the bed the next morning, can't be able to come for work... duh~~~~~ what the heck man...

seriously totally lost my appetite for the day.... IM SICK!
sick to know that the reality is, ppl who're rich, powerful, strong, could alwez tk ppl tat r weak, poor background, esp gals for granted? what is tat?? n u ever seen news showing tis kind of things b4? NO... what would they do? just cover up the bad n ugly side of everything.. come on..! it happens every yr man!! but they r ministry, they could do anything they wan..

so basically i can say, this exhibition is for those INHUMAN to seek for their preys each yr?? argh!

i heard that enough though... just never expect it would came that close to me that im about to face it!!

so what wil b my ans?yes or no??
figured out for some time... i would just reject then..
BIG thanks to those that gv me advice repeatedly (except for clement who told me it was a big opportunity) LOL~
anyhow, my heart was a bit uneasy at the first place too..n i was honest with him that i don think i wan it n to risk myself tat way..he convinced me by sayin ful model got 1.5k per day..u as a semi, wont be any less...
its 8 days...i could hv earn big by then.. some more, i could get the ans of, am i really able to handle tis kind of situation too..

BUT... no more but.. im just goin to reject...
disappointed also.. i mean, that's not fair for a gal lk me to gv up getting involve in an event simply bcuz im afraid of those jerks! how had the world be? how could it be that way....
hmm...iF I WeRE A MaN~

let see...... ppl lk this

THIS~
or THESE,

would rape a girl???
i mean PLEASE... tat's disgusting!!

i alwez thought it should be fine cause when u wanna succeed in doing something, ther wil alwez be risks.. it just depends on how much of the pros n cons that u gotta figure out how n what to do... so, my conclusion, it wont be worth it to risk n might get raped by those dirty kinda creature. which might then cause myself to hv STD,etc...

tel me i made the right choice plz....!

next on, going to work in GENTING lur... of course, going to stay at the apartment they provide..im the only part tim gal~ but im sure i wil b safe~ clement wil b ther, it's under a company i worked b4, good boss, n ppl thet r 'normal'

Genting warehouse sales~

Brands Offered

Guess

Samsonite

Voir

Sodas

Novelle

Jean Perry

Disney

Polo

Charles Jordan

Daniel Hechter

Smalto

Obermain

B.U.M. Equipment

Camel Active

Sacha

Sorella

Elianto

Wacoal

Beverly Hills Polo Club

Time : 11am – 12am

Location

Genting International Convention Centre

Hall 5-7

Genting Highlands

69000 Pahang Darul Makmur

Malaysia

next next stop, would be Penang... yes, back to hometown again~
just for fun.. goin to work for 3 days ther..just for sick of working.. LOL~ cuz minus transportation n everythin, not much left...

okay.. i let some opportunity slips thru my fingers today..
emo day.. but going to be better~

watched Alice in the wonderland d~
n, Up in the air,
n, NINE,
Night in the museum II,
what meatballs kinda anime,
er....cant recall d..lots of it~~

tmr shopping again..dont wanna stay home alone~

-END-

Days in MIFF

2010-03-05T22:20:00.014+08:00

tmr would be the last day to work for MIFF dy...heavy hearted in some ways..
it should be the first time ever im in love with a job, and, would be 30 minutes early to work each day..!
just can say it's a brand new yet interesting experience..

this fair is somehow for international clients, and we need not to do any sales but to make use of the fair as a tool to get to know each other..
the organiser had served them right, by providing transport from the airport or from their hotel to the venue of the fair held and shuttle buses were provided to go to that 3 diff location of fair too..

at the very first day, had ad been very delighted to start my work, cuz, it wasn't like pc fair, where u can see many youngsters wearing T shirts with diff logos of their company waiting for lrt, and congested! i gotta wear formal with a coat or blazer, but, makeup was not compulsory and they din forced us to tie up hair or wat~
n of course, the fun part would be seeing different directors or managers for various furniture company all around the world to walk around, and talk to you... ok la~im sampat ah yi~~hahax!

i do lk it cuz, it was just like ppl pay u to let u learn and to see what the other ppl is doing while the world is spinning, while we're busying with our Chemistry or Biology~ while we only know how to apply knowledge of scientific terms n methods, hey, they're all here workin on something lk this..n they make a living with that too!
some more, ppl there are just so nice + friendly~ n they would teach whatever u wanna know, n it wasnt just lk asking A they gv u ans of A, sometime, they would say somethin extra~ like them.. =)
learnt some very very basic knowledge of furniture.. talked lk as if i know what it means by PU, AC, MC, etc etc....kekeke...

i dunno how huge the company im working in the market, but i do know ther're plenty of competitors.. n they told us our company make a sales of 10 million US dollars per year.. so that's a lot i suppose??
i'm being fooled by those competitors today though... get a lil despair.. but fine right now..

n, im actually stil sick...having fever.. guess after tmr i wil need to really rest well.. then start another work in genting d~

tmr get my salary lur!! happy~~

oh yea, and my results...
first sem, i got 3As, 7Bs..
this sem, it's 11As 1B..
could u see the difference of me working while study with just to study? aiks.. feel sorry for me?
hmm... if u ask me if i feel regret for working in the first sem n drag the whole gpa down.. i would say, maybe.. cause, it's not something great when u wanna get something yet, ad fallen apart when u only bout to get started..
but, how? just keep moving forward i guess... hoping i wont get demotivated by that..

Honesty

2010-02-22T19:30:00.004+08:00

hey followers~

one ques for u guys.. is honesty needed as ther's nothing that u could alter?
is honesty needed when it could lead miserable life to others?

when someone had done something wrong, which to him/her it may not seems that wrong, they will choose to move forward.. and, to do so, they may seek for forgiveness from those they feel sorry for~
but, was the word of 'sorry' could mend or change anything?
it would just seems to be the hardest word to say... yet, a word that carries no meaning..

at the end of the day, i chose to lie..
no matter how hard u try to explain ur own situation, the person who und the most would only be urself..
to hate someone aint something easy..
and when ppl trying to seek for freedom, i wil then let them be~
i know im not wrong.. just got a bit disgusted..

not expecting u guys to know what i mean too =)

very soon CNY mood has almost comes to an end d yea.. not very delighted trip back to pg though..
back to kl today n since then, there would be one less reason that relates me with my hometown.. going to permanently stay in kl very soon~ *guess so*
big thanks to those who wish me in the CNY.. even diff races did so too.. Gong Xi Fat Choi is what they lk to say..keke!

reached pg on the day when everyone suppose to have a reunion dinner with their family..
obviously, without my own awareness, i tried to hide from going back in some ways..
anyhow, received a biggest compliment in my life that day~
mostly when ppl praise me, i would have just accept them, thinking, ppl just trying to make me happy or to flirt around..
but that day, i just felt he speak truthfully n that enlightens my day~
having me to promise him that i wil keep this type of smile '=)' until my last breathe..
he said he's saint with a big gold ring on top of his head.. hahax~ so that's someone sent by God to reminds me those thing ha~

as i ad came back to kl, will have one day rest for the day, n everything's going to start tmr..
will gonna have to attend two interviews.. settle the prob of connections..
n soon, will need to make some wise decisions on how to spend my 3 months intern then.. hopefully it will be very well arranged..

wish me luck!!

A day to remember..

2010-02-21T16:50:00.005+08:00

19th Feb

Hang out with bunch of frenz which I normally wont meet up often today.. went QB, KEK LOK SI and autocity.. most importantly, finally met miao ling~ the one from japan, well known to be famous bcuz she’s cute! LOL~ tats wat she used to tel us..its been years since I last met her.. but she stil speak n act lk her b4, slightly diff in some way, but stil her~

Talkin to her reminds me of the things happened in the past.. how we were in the bus, how we talk, we went Belgium, play together,etc.. n as u guys know im introvet in some way.. if she didn’t tk the initiative to talk to me that day, we may not know each other n hv today’s gathering lurr… I gotta say, it’s of my luck to hv her in my life, as a fren, which still could remember me after all this while.. =) not forgetting, it’s really of luck to have a lot a lot of great fren I ever hv~very very happy today after meeting them..

After being mumbled by mum for few days, finally hv the chance to hv some rest n really hv a smile on my face… im not saying she’s bad, she don’t love me or sayang me.. with no reason, she bought me a necklace, platinum.. aint comparing her love with $ or the present she gave me.. tats my mum.. the one who dunno how to show her love.. the one who unwilling to spend extra expenses on food or anything else in her life would buy something expensive for me without reason.. I know she just wan me to be happy ba… but the thing is, she may be very happy today, the next day she may b very emo.. of course the main cause of her emoness don’t come from me as I know.. it was from the person that she cares the most..to me, it’s definitely not fair to judge everyone just based on the one u cared the most.. I mean NOT FAIR!! But, what am I to change the fact that she was overly concerned bout him that she forgotten other’s feelings.. n sometime we would do so too.. not to say she’s a woman in the late adulthood already.. n it may be inherited that we alwez used to be very damn emo, I really don’t wanna be someone who mumble a lot when I get older… aiks! But ther’s something she speak out that I feel it’s very VERY familiar.. as we shop, she told us, expensive nvm, as long as quality’s good n we’re comfortable.. OMG.. so damn inherited..

Anyways, sorry for those that I din get to meet during this holiday.. especially for the band’s gathering.. ishh~ joline.. even called to me fetch me up..never really contact her much since….. the day she grad?? Means.. 3 yrs.. so in guilt.. but, I really duno how to direct ppl to my new house……>.<>

Long time didn’t update u guys bout my work d rite? After working for rexona.. woohoo~!! got some very easy earned money.. of course it past d that’s y I said it’s easy la.. from 10 to 10, GK to PJ by public transport aint something easy.. but I enjoyed it actually.. get to know some new friends over there.. n I tell u what, met the owner of Carrefour of Tropicana Mall as I work.. he was very nice, n charming~

That day I was resting in the rest room when I was having one hour break.. too tired that I got into sleep.. suppose to wake up 15 min b4 work but he came in.. the boss ( a foreigner) n said.. ‘hi,ni hao ma?’ then my bleary eyes got to extremely awake state in just few blink! Yet, not having my vocal to speak.. then with a smile, he walk away.. after my break n I got bac to work, saw him again then he goes,’stil ok girl?still sleepy?’ I got damn shock n explain im fine, etc etc.. he said,’it’s ok,no worries!~’ talk talk talk then he walked away, n again, with a smile…. Fuiyo.. charming!! Not his outlook that I mean, it’s his inner beauty man!

After that I worked in Midvalley Carrefour.. I gotta say, totally the opposite once~ the owner is a foreigner again.. but he was very wel disciplined n hardworking n strict! He comes every day to work.. Im not sure what time he came in but he goes back later than every staff.. n he don’t smile much often.. when he goes round, u cant talk, cant do anything else except for the job u suppose to do.. but im telling u, the sales were fascinating!! Rexona alone, is 10X more than sales in Tropicana mall.. n as u all know too, Carrefour in Midvalley was just a small part, n located in a not very strategic place.. wa~~~ rite? Hahax.. moreover it face strong competitor, Jusco, situated just bside Carrefour~ I really gotta say Midvalley’s very happening.. now only I finally get to know why most promotion especially the perfume would mostly held ther..

Lil tips that I can tell from the two very diff boss that I seen.. as u dare taking the risk, u need to work harder, but u wil gain a lot more than u would hv expected.. but if u’re a happy go lucky person, u may not reach that high position but u’re relax n enjoying every moment in ur life.. which would u be then?? Hmm?

Oh, n, for those who wanted to work for deodorant in the future perhaps… ur target should be more on Malays man! N most importantly those from Arab!~ they would buy ten in a row.. they should be the one who use them every day.. they lk perfume very much too!

N ern… Unilever’s very impressive!! They hv over 500 products on hand… if those who interested in getting involve in the processing of any chemicals, could aim for this company.. brilliant future~~ one that I may be considering too… talking bout the promotion technique, they really hv their way.. consumers were being fooled by wordings n promotions ahead that they would really forgotten which is a more rational decision.. LOL~ two thumbs for the marketing director..

B4 I went bac pg, went for another job interview but end up it was something related to direct sales.. ever heard of Herbalife?? If no google then u wil know.. one international company which hv a rapid growth in the market, n aiming higher for the next few yrs.. the talk was done a guy from hong kong (a high school dropout).. his presentation of the scientific explanation based on his standard, I would rate him a A++~(by comparing those done by Tarcians including me la).. what a shame to say that~aih… anyway, went for the job interview make me realize something.. oh no, it’s not that I wanna get involved in something like this, earn big money in the shortest time, bla bla bla~~~it’s that, everything is about business!!! A two noble prize winner..worked under them.. knowledge stil, under business!! Whatever u know, at the end of the day, its about the business again.. u hv to sell ur ideas, u gotta sell ur products.. hv to convince ppl, persuade ppl that what u hv is something great.. n I gotta tel u, business world in msia.. is something messy, cruel n competitive.. mayb I don’t hv much knowledge on that so I got no right to judge.. but don’t u think u r ‘somebody’ just bcuz u’ve occupied urseld with lots of knowledge.. soon u will realize the more u know, the more u hv to hide them… *just personal opinion here*

Anyways, to spend time by working in malls is never a very good idea.. they would train u to bcome less competent, very lazy, learnt the easy way out.. if it’s not bcuz of the pay they gave, I would really rather stay at home~~

Haha… I gotta stop d right?

finally, I juz wanna tel that I rejected all the jobs I got for the coming weeks n now that I left is Malaysia International Furniture Fair (MIFF) of 2010.. wanted to join the event cause the customers would all be foreigners.. but soon I got really regret cause it’s in March, n I really thought I mess up in the whole interview session.. hope I didn’t get the job cause I know I deserves a better pay as working for some event lk this.. but, nvm d I guess.. ad promised, that’s what I wil do.. they decided to hire me, ther must be a reason.. n I wil juz do it then, as I alwez did!~

Ciao~~

what a day....

2010-02-05T00:18:00.006+08:00

today's the day for training of my new job..then tmr gotta start to WORK lur..
woke up at 11am~cuz was bit addicted to the drama.. 下一站，幸福.. only time that im free to watch will b at night..so ended up alwez watch til very damn late..

met with sue around 3~after 45min ride by lrt to kelana jaya..
did something very sillly yet rush in one utama~ hahax~ but going to zip my mouth on the silly part..

then, was late 45min for the training... worst, the lift was not working n i hv to walk by stairs to 6th floor~ almost gave up when i reached 3rd floor then walk down, almost cried out... cause the whole building looks unoccupied.. not much ppl actually will pas thru ther too... many lots were actually emptied.. aih~ but told myself i had ad promised ppl that im going to do it..must keep my promise.. hmm, that's alwez the worst part that i hv to go thru each time when i got a job offer! i dont lk to go to unknown places n worrying bout my own safety!! i wish i were a man~
=( reminded me that i went to one residential area last time by taxi.. never ever been ther.. never really know wher i was.. God knows where i got the courage n got into a stranger's house at TTDI, with lots of dogs surround me once i step in... if i get to choose, i would never wanna been born in Malaysia...! at least i wouldnt need to worry that much i guess~

aiks!~ n now only i know im suppose to sell deodorant~ i really cant find anything to convince myself using one.. hv no idea how to convince others.. will see how tmr goes~

of course with my own self awareness bout this 'deodorant' i did raise some ques to that trainer also.. he couldnt really ans my ques leh.. all those dangerous chemicals, the myth that it will bring breast cancer, etc.. apala~~

but the fun part is im goin to wear one bathrobe to work~ n going to b cameraman for those who wanna tk part in the competition!~

since im the only girl working in some place that's very damn near to unilever's office, extra stress were put on me... what was told was that the officers like to hv lunch in the mall im working.. spys' everywher.. so i basically hv to be a ROBOT.. for 12 hours!

still, can't wait~~! wanna talk to the pharmacist there! hahahax.. though im not really allowed to talk to anyone.. as if i really care bout the rules n regulation =P

ta~~

'sunny' days...

2010-02-03T21:41:00.011+08:00

very damn HOT lately.. always felt like going out but got so demotivated later...

suppose need to go over that yamaha shop ask bout the course today.. but the stairs up look a bit creepy.. so, forget bout it.. gotta go way far to midvalley then..
suppose to go over college.. return bac the book that i've been borrowed for years.. but due to the fact that it's super hot, i got into the taxi n said~LRT~~~ argh!
then the next thing i know is, im at KLCC..
peep on somethin i wanna know in the aquaria... then okay, walk up, walk walk walk...
i then reached pavilion...
walk some more....... to sg wang... lastly, times square....

the only thing that i managed to get done was to pay the bills..
only one, for internet.. still hv plenty on hand.. water n rental..aiks!
delay delay some more la............ im gonna name myself lazy pig dy!

suppose to find a job today too...ended up bac with packs of clothes in both of my hands when i reach home..yet, UNEMPLOYED @.@

well done is better than well said shuang........!
sigh sigh!!~
Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today-Benjamin franklin
=.=" can i juz treat lk i never seen that b4?

some more ad hv two big packs of clothes going for charity d.. still wanna input more clothes... im totally wanna kill the 'id' in me!!

the following post is for a friend of mine...
well, it's been a while dy, seeing him almost i can say 'suffer' n struggling with his jobs.. i und at this age, most guys need to work real hard to promise a better future for their ownselves n family..
hmm.. think im a bit over to ask him quit n gv up current job... i mean, i dont hv the right to judge~

flip through Ivanka's book today..
on the very first page, ther's a quote from oprah,
What I know is, is that if you do work that you love, and the work fulfills you, the rest will come~
that reminds me of the conversation that we had..

im not trying to say, see, she supported my ideas.. it's just, to feel stress 24/7, complained here n ther every single day on the works, didnt get to sleep well, etc... that's a big wau~ for me.. of course what i admire is the determination.. but what i worry is the person..
i dunno.. but i still think it may be good to work hard n b very determined on something..but never ever overworked urself, nor to put urself in condition that u're totally not comfortable with..! always keep this in mind, LIFE'S A LONG RUN!!

stil stil stil, i don't have the right to judge.. oX
keep my mouth shut..!
anyways.. just wish him be happier in the coming days!
may God bless everyone~~~ =)

plan plan plan!!!

2010-02-02T20:50:00.020+08:00

toughest semester had ad past for lk 4 days..it's the sem wher u can see shuang's really very hardworking, work wit my ass off ok? never hv my spec put on me for that long period of time in a single day.. have no idea why i did that honestly.. cause first sem's result ad kinda told me ther's not much hope.. but, i wouldnt say it's very torturing or whatsoever.. cuz i did slept for 6 hours per day, nap in the afternoon n watched a lot of dramas as u guys know~ =)

frankly, im disappointed at some point today.. it's not that it had never really happened b4.. but, sometim i would wonder what shuang really means to others o??typically just someone u meet in college n forget about after college?? u can say i think too much... perhaps i really do.. but i really just wanna try my best to treasure everyone in my life.. mayb due to the fact im libra i guess.. will hv that bizarre kind of thinking, wher how i feel for someone, i wish they would feel the same way that i do....

or it may even be possible that bcuz i've meet with ppl that as they found their dreams n their path, they would totally forget about u.. regardless of how best frenz u guys were.. they just care about their own benefits n busy with their own life.. but that certainly wouldnt be fair for those who treated me with their heart.. cuz i finally get to meet those ppl in my college year.. trying my best to open up myself right now..for them.. letting go of the past, pursuing to be better me in the future..

but i myself do know too... that's the process of growing up.. as u aged, better hv less expectations for things n ppl around.. just try ur best in everything.. God will see it, n ppl with their lovely soul n heart would know that too... =)

anyways.. been resting a lot for these few days n today finally hang out n hv some fun wit frenz...they can sing very damn well~hahax!
but, surprisingly, i've forgotten how it feels to spend money.. if it was me for the past few months at tis period of time i would probably ended up very damn broke.. plus, i've been 'not in the mood' to really hang out much too...

just wanna get things started asap.. cause i got many aims on hand.. it's a bit stressful to me..
sent out two mails today for application of jobs n both of them replied.. it was actually quite organized in the first place wher i work for one in midvalley during the weekends n another in times square for weekdays.. rounded up everything, by working from 5th to 21st, n im allowed to get off day for 3 days of the CNY, i could get around 2k.. who knows, the guy suddenly called n said oh no, u juz need to work for 2 days... what the heck.. ad so nicely planned.. aiks! it became less than 1k =(

should i stil continue to b freelancer or find one more stable jobs with more stable income ha??

n how bout my final year project?

my swimming lessons?

my french?

n my violin??

arghhh......

choices are everywhere, n im set to go..!
never really worry i can't handle it..
see, some ppl would find it distracting or kinda worry to go outside the world, face the reality..but it's a bit fun for me... im actually quite familiar with how things go around..
n i always looking forward the days when i finally grad get out, n start to make some colours for my life..

but, i would say, it may be too familiar that i know every pros n cons of everything n start to think too much! n i certainly will expect a lot from myself too...
u guys would probably stay in the other end saying this girl, overly confident man!
aiks~ of course im not~ that would just me tryin to persuade myself that it's going to be easy..
every jobs actually hv their own difficulties.. still could recall how i cried when i got bac home cuz couldnt perform wel as i work for dior last time... they just continuously criticize u , judge u,etc etc.... well, i hv to say, they were my motivation to get fat actually~ i don wanna look lk a skinny little gal who is weak to them.. they certainly did make me feel lk im nobody who could do nothin at tat time..
so, hopefully, im not that girl anymore...

sigh~bit worry i can't really get things done as i wanted them to be..

hm......

speechless with my 'so many concerns' n thoughts, just lk how my family members always complain bout how i am~~~

JH back pg lur...so now basically the house's empty, just me alone..
bit scary at times..specially when night has come...
somehow at some point, i wish the night could be shorter~or mayb human don hv to go to bed...

trainings for the job will get started soon...n im so darn free for weekdays..
mayb i should not stress myself too much n tk it slow ba.. i could probably read some journals by then.. n work harder for next few months~ all i need is luck n chances!~

just can say..

good luck to myself ba!~~~

sorry if i bla too much today............
kept myself drown in loads of papers n notes for 3 months, not having some outings...
now that i need to go out n talk to strangers, having strangers calling me now n then asking my conformation bout my schedule, mails with unknown sender wher u dunno which job they refering to..sighness~~it could really goes a bit crazy~

Nightmares again....

2010-01-31T04:57:00.004+08:00

sigh......had my nightmares again..
and i've just finished my exam, yet, starts to have those creepy dreams...how sarcastic it can goes?
this time round, yea, i could remember the content well, though cant recognize the faces.. venue, graveyard... it's the combination of two things that has been very traumatic to myself.. so the feeling n content was not unfamiliar at all.. that's why i could recall it wel n had my tears drop when i woke up..
n i have a feeling the dreams going to continue somehow, some other days.. cause bad dreams are the one that could continue their version each time..to me~
n i und why i dreamt so.. n know too why it suddenly pop up now when im suppose to have a good rest....
had myself sleeping for less than 4 hours.. wish the day could come asap.. cause i don wanna get bac to sleep anymore..

may i be peace.....

tmr shall be better~

my wish..

Exam~~

2010-01-22T23:36:00.003+08:00

done 6 papers, and, 6 more to go...
if study is somehow separate like alarm state, resistant n exhaustion, i think im now entering resistance but yet trying hard to prevent of getting into exhaustion....
watched 4 episodes of rainie yang's drama..couldn't really stop cause, it's kinda touching..u know~i may not trust romance in reality but yet, im still a girl like any others~

had myself quite tired to face the exam and somehow will have the feelings to give up some time.. woke up at 745am today~ so unusual..cause mostly i would wake earlier in the day of exam to revise everything but..just not today.. even when im writing the answers during the test, i just feel like taking a break! aiks~~~~

oh yea,finish watching season eight of The Apprentice~ finanlly yea =)
finished it yesterday night.. the winner, Joan Rivers.. a 76 years old woman!
i would highly recommend u guys to watch it.. cause it's really worthwhile n that u will get to see how a woman which had already in her late adulthood yet so energetic..! simply out of what ppl would expect~

and, as far as u guys know..i become that interested in Dennis Rodman...!
well, if u guys ask me why,i dont think i hv the ans.. cuz he had attitude prob, might hv alcohol abuse, everything..
but he clearly had something inside him..i mean, the real him in him... which, is clearly seen by everyone..
and at the end of the show, he showed up to claim for his own dignity..to proof n tel us that trust in him, we din make mistakes in doing so~
everythin happens with reason.. i blif Dennis actions are all consequences of something else..so i checked his past..n guys~if u're interested, read this... (done some copy n paste from wiki)

Dennis Keith Rodman (born May 13, 1961) is a retired American professional basketball player of the National Basketball Association's (NBA) Detroit Pistons, San Antonio Spurs, Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Lakers and Dallas Mavericks. Born in Trenton, New Jersey, he was nicknamed "Dennis the Menace" and "The Worm" and was known for his fierce defensive and rebounding abilities. Playing small forward in his early years before becoming a power forward, Rodman earned NBA All-Defensive First Team honors seven times and was voted NBA Defensive Player of the Year twice. He also led the NBA in rebounds per game for a record seven consecutive years and won five NBA championships (1989, 1990, 1996, 1997, 1998).

Experiencing an unhappy childhood, Rodman was shy and introverted in his early years. After aborting a suicide attempt in 1993, he reinvented himself as the prototypical "bad boy" and became notorious for numerous controversial antics. He dyed his hair in artificial colors, presented himself with many piercings and tattoos and regularly disrupted games by clashing with opposing players and officials. He famously wore a wedding dress to promote his autobiography. Rodman pursued a high-profile affair with singer Madonna and was briefly married to actress Carmen Electra.

Apart from basketball, Rodman is a part-time professional wrestler. He was a member of the nWo and fought alongside Hulk Hogan at two Bash at the Beach events. He had his own TV show, The Rodman World Tour, and had lead roles in the action films Simon Sez and Double Team alongside Jean-Claude Van Damme. Both films were severely critically panned, with the latter earning Rodman a triple Razzie Award. He appeared in several reality TV series and was the winner of the $222,000 main prize of the 2005 edition of Celebrity Mole. Rodman also won the first ever Celebrity Championship Wrestling tournament.

Rodman is the son of Shirley and Philander Rodman Jr. After Philander left when Dennis was three years old, Shirley took many odd jobs—at times, four at the same time—to support her family. In his 1997 biography Bad As I Wanna Be, he expresses his disgust for his father: "I haven't seen my father in more than 30 years, so what's there to miss... I just look at it like this: Some man brought me into this world. That doesn't mean I have a father."Rodman lived together with his mother and his sisters Debra and Kim, who also played basketball and went on to become All-Americans at Louisiana Tech and Stephen F. Austin respectively.Childhood was not easy for him: he experienced poverty, and he was so attached to his mother that he refused to move when she sent him to a nursery when he was four years old. Shirley Rodman was more interested in his two sisters Debra and Kim, who were both considered more talented than him in basketball (which made him a laughingstock whenever he tagged along with them), and was generally "overwhelmed" by this all-female household.When he had his growth spurt, he became even more withdrawn because he felt odd in his own body.Rodman was so insecure around women that he thought he was homosexual in his teens, was still a virgin when he was 20 years old, and finally had his first sexual experience with a prostitute; he described this as an unpleasant experience.

While at Southeastern Oklahoma State University, Rodman was working at a summer youth basketball camp and befriended Byrne Rich, one of the campers. Rich was shy and withdrawn, stemming from a hunting accident in which he mistakenly shot and killed his best friend. The two became almost inseparable and formed a bond. Rich invited Rodman to his rural Oklahoma home; at first, Rodman was not well-received by the Riches due to being African-American. But, the Riches were so grateful to him for bringing their son out of his shell that they were able to set aside their prejudices.Although Rodman had severe family issues himself, he "adopted" the Riches as his own in 1982 and went from the city life to "driving a tractor and messing with cows."Rodman credits the Riches as his "surrogate family" that helped him through college.

After college and being drafted by the Pistons, Rodman met his girlfriend and later wife Anicka "Annie" Bakes and had a daughter Alexis (born 1989). She married and divorced him in 1993, an experience which left him traumatized.Rodman's refusal to take a HIV test was cited as the main conflict that led to the divorce. In that year, he was found asleep in his car with a loaded rifle in his hand, and it was rumored that he had tried to commit suicide,which he confirmed four years later: but instead of killing himself, he decided to symbolically kill the shy Dennis Rodman he hated and to be reborn as a man full of self-confidence.

Rodman has cited Pearl Jam as his favorite band and befriended them in the mid 1990s. During their No Code Tour, on September 26, 1996, he briefly came onstage to the excitement of the crowd and gave frontman Eddie Vedder a piggyback ride. Rodman later received a Walkman carved with Vedder's initials and containing the concert recording. He has since cited this as one his most thrilling experiences and claimed, "If it wasn't for Pearl Jam, my life would be a hell of a lot less fulfilling." Not long after, Rodman also gave his unworn #69 Lakers jersey to Eddie Vedder,and he cited Pearl Jam song lyrics in his 1996 autobiography, Bad As I Wanna Be.

After demanding and getting a trade to the San Antonio Spurs, he became the volatile character of his later years, began dating Madonna and claimed she actively tried to get a child from him.Shortly after, Rodman famously wore a wedding dress to promote his autobiography Bad As I Wanna Be, claimed that he was bisexual and that he was "marrying himself," thus the dress.In November 1998, he married Carmen Electra in a state of intoxication, and the marriage was invalidated after just 10 days. A year later, he met Michelle Moyer, who became his new girlfriend. Moyer bore him two children, namely a son called D.J. (born 2000) and a daughter named Trinity (born 2001). Moyer and Rodman married in 2003 on his 42nd birthday. It was described as a "big party," in line with Rodman's reputation as a notorious party organizer: after settling down in Newport Beach, California, the police appeared over 70 times at his home because of loud parties.Two years later, he published his second autobiography I Should Be Dead By Now and promoted this by sitting in a coffin.^[17] However, his private life remained rocky. On April 30, 2008, he was arrested following a domestic dispute incident at a Los Angeles hotel.On June 24, 2008, he pleaded no contest to the misdemeanor spousal battery charges and was sentenced to one year of domestic violence counseling and three years probation. He received 45 hours of community service, which were to involve some physical labor activities.

Rodman admitted his frequent transgressions, but asserted that he lived his own life and thus a more honest life than most other people: "I just took the chance to be my own man... I just said: 'If you don't like it, kiss my ass.' ...Most people around the country, or around the world, are basically working people who want to be free, who want to be themselves. They look at me and see someone trying to do that... I'm the guy who's showing people, hey, it's all right to be different. And I think they feel: 'Let's go and see this guy entertain us.'"

Rodman is a long-time vegetarian, and in 2005, he became the first man, and the first sports star to pose (naked) for PETA's advertisement campaign "Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur"

see, he even tried to kill himself.. sigh~life's never been easy to everyone i guess.. n his, was full with ups n down..he had a daughter,same age as mine... =)
maybe all the stories make him a man that attracted me towards him...still think he's cool~~

gonna need to end here~~

apprentice~

2010-01-15T20:12:00.008+08:00

well..i have gotta admit, i deeply in guilt to watch so much of dramas this couple of days when exam juz few hours away..OMG OMG~~~
but hey,i like to watch apprentice A LOT! it's the most inspiring..n interesting~
i like the girls a lot this season..they named themselves as ATHENA, `the goddess of wisdom, war, strategy, industry, justice and skill~ even the name sounds cool right?
the show has Dennis Rodman~ checked his biograph, he's 48... i'm like, r u kidding me?? he doesn't look like his age, not at all! somehow, in some way, i felt i like him..hahax~ despite his lousy attitude, n kinda irresponsible.. but, he's cool to me~

i like Tom Green a lot too..he's just like the guy who knows a lot of things but do things differently..he's smart, he looks smart...u just can see it through the way he talks n look into your eyes~ will spend some time on his comedies n movies that he've done..i think it will be worth it.. but not now certainly~ even though i can't wait to do so.. =)
well,i judge ppl, most of the time.. n somehow, it's obvious whether that's the one u will get along very well, whether he or she is nice as in what's in ur mind bout them.. i never got wrong though~ even i know it's not good to do so, but, yea, some period of time we just need to do so to avoid some of the problems to arise..but i would say most of them are inevitable still... THAT's LIFE~~

not being able to elaborate much... will keep u guys update bout the series by then..hopefully i will be able to discipline myself well >.<

ta~

top model episods~

2010-01-12T21:32:00.011+08:00

hmm hmm~despite the fact that exam's just around the corner n it freaks me out some time...spent 4 hours today on pps..watching america's next top model season 12!! cant' stop from not being curious of who's going to win it, ever since the girl that i lk the most being kicked out..
and and... it's.. Teyana..sadly~~sigh..
wel, the one that i love the most was Celia..she din even get to be in top 3, so forget bout it..
but i was expecting Allison to grab it... T.T
whole season was not as competitive as what that i've watched so far..but Allison kinda make me realize n reminds me as well on, u don't have to be a total BITCH to get to the position that u wan or to achieve in your dreams...IF u hv what it takes, be it weird or ugly, be it to walk or to run to ur final destination, it's urs babe!! yea~~~ she's a total weirdo in the very beginning but it's her being in the finalist than those others that have great body shape or great personality...n she seems to be the weakest competitor among all,plus she never get into fight or shown any disrespect to others...it's just, happy go lucky n hey~im here in finals...LOL~ how great if life's been that well to everyone of us isnt it? when she states her opinions on the whole competition, she said, she felt very disappointed n bla bla..but she feel proud for herself,etc... im like yea yea yea~~agree!!! hahax~

starts to stalk on Belinda's blog nowadays..
like her very much though~
she had the attitude, she's independent and she's not afraid to show and speak on whatever she felt like doing..
*start to talk lk what they would in the episods* >.< obviously watched too much dy...if i hv a guardian right now to check on me from time to time on my studies, i think i would probably dead already, to get scold n beaten as much time as i couldnt imagine~~

somehow, ur true enemy is urself!~ learnt that from the episods too...! ngek ngek!
see, my true enemy is the me that like to spent time learning other things than chemistry and biology...aih~~
opPS~it's almost 10 already, and i still very slow in my progress.. T.T
work ur ass off dude!
everyone jia you yea!!!

Love,

Shuang

不够成熟

2010-01-10T03:34:00.002+08:00

‘想我还是不够成熟还达不到你的要求
我真的没有想的太多只是怀念你走以后。。
离开难道真的是解脱难道真的要试过几次了以后才懂
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
~真的不难过笑着和你挥——挥手~’

一月，总让我很感触。。因为，他的生日即将来临。。。
当然，已不再与我有关。。
就这样，分开的时间也差不多一年了~真搞不懂还感触些什么。。>.<
有时记忆好，也并非好事。。
想了好几遍，都是我不够成熟吧！

这一年，开心，不开心，总会想起你。。
但我从不说，也不想再烦你。。
从那天你决定把心和钥匙转交给她保管，我都懂了。。
也该是预料中事，也有了心理准备会有这么一天
一年前急着怪你，都忘了，我欠你一句，‘对不起’
你所谓的累了我懂。。
对不起。。可能我从没出现，你们会有不同的结果吧。。
以前在一起总爱哭，分隔两地，一点都不好受。。
但，分开了那么久还要哭。。。
从来没向任何人说这些，因为不曾有勇气面对，
因为每次回家都还会想起你。。。
今天的我说了，因为，以后的我很清楚，只想和你是普通朋友~
经过了种种事，我明白，痛是一定有。。
但失败了，总得爬起来。。
只是，我没别人那么快。。
可能我是真的不够坚强吧。。是真的不喜欢身边的人离我而去。。
就连平日没事干，都会怕哪天会有谁再次从我身边溜走。。

没什么好担心，不必想太多。。我并非想要回头。。
不是想要些什么，只希望能看到大家都开心！
也想说声抱歉，和感谢！！是真的感谢！
也永远祝福你开心，快乐！！！~
早日找到更适合你的她。。。=）
当然我也会慢慢加油~
最近都爱想很多，可能是真的很想对自己开始有责任，
做事得认真点了吧~
也希望我不会再伤害任何人，因为疗伤并不简单。。
是真的在努力控制自己 >.<

大家一起加油吧！！

A break from studies~

2010-01-08T20:04:00.019+08:00

hmm..studies are all still in progress~
wonder whether i hv enough time for all that..
stil, sneak out a lil while..
well, never did tel u guys..im actually quite a good stalker~hahax..but don't worry~
i just like to see how others go through their life..
always like to see and hear bout ppl's life...it's either how u get motivated by them, touched by the stories, or learn from their mistakes~perhaps just like the way yOU are stalking mine... =)

just recently, found out this girl, a photographer..
she tk pictures, or shall i say moments, of love, joys n happiness!!
just wanna share them with you guys..

SWEET SWEET SWEET!!!~hahax...
and babies are extremely adorable~~
n im still so free to arrange her photo in sequence...la la la~~~~
nothing much that i can describe~think pics speak the words!
but ern,
did you imagined urself to be in it when seeing the pics???LOL~if yes,then congrats!!u may hv had the him or her, 'right person' by ur side dy...
k la~enough for break time..get bac to studies!!

gOOd luck for all that will be having the finals yea!
gambate!!

The REASON

2010-01-06T15:32:00.014+08:00

When a kids say to her friend, 'i don wanna be your friend anymore!',
It's of REASON~
As one daughter/son said to his/her parents, 'i wish my parents were dead than to hv u guys as mine',
It's of REASON~
As your best friend turns into an enemy,
It's with REASON~
As a person past away, or dump you leaving u to walk your life on your own,
There must be a REASON~
As a person say 'i love you' OR 'i wanna spend the rest of my life with you, JUST YOU~'
It's of REASON..
And as you grow up, to say, 'hey, i feel like wanna get involve in this kind of field'
oh yes, AGAIN, it's of REASON...

Everything comes with REASONs~it's just depending on how the 'reasons' could be manipulated nor altered...

So, don't ask me why are you here today..
Never ask why you can't be better than others....
Never ever doubt why you're not gifted like how others do~

IT'S OF REASON DUDE!!!

perhaps you were meant to do something extraordinary??
this is specially for those who always thought themselves as underdog in certain conditions...well, there are always time when we realize OMG, im so weak in this...maybe to think so could help??
it's actually of good will to let u create something brilliant.. DO trust me!~ we're imperfect and most importantly, we are all not the same!~

posted the blog n had some time thinking..had i ever done something without reason?
owrh...yes yes yes! just recently.. i'm craving for food for NO REASON~~~~ >.<
*slap me*
hahax, anyway,had u?

hm....end my story here??
well, no..

despite the fact that, yes, everything comes with reasons,
it may not be wise to keep finding them...
know why??
never like people keep asking WHY WHY WHY???? is that really important to find out the REASONS?
come on, get urself into actions! it would be few few times better than having time wasted in finding them..
and as i said reasons could always be manipulated, apart from having the positive once, some would make it negative..n as they found the negative reason that was manipulated by their own, the evil thingy will haunt the mindset of ppl again..
they will then say, oh, this is the reason why..it's the fact..i can make no effort to change them anymore...

See what i mean?? =)
gambate la!!!

Best regards here,
Shuang~~

-END-

S.O.S.

2010-01-03T10:47:00.008+08:00

argghh...someone plz help me through~~
the test's tmr, yet i'm not able to put all my focus to the notes...something pull my thoughts away whenever im reading...
it's all about the concern for the 3 months holiday... =(
i mean, where should i go??
main ques here... penang or kl??
having contract for kl's condo which only ends by end of may..
yet, my heart wants to go bac pg badly..!
another thing, intern or to work?
hmm, i'm quite certain that chemistry will b the path im going to choose instead of bio, n since most of the chemical companies that i'm interested in replied that they don't have such programme, think i wil might as well work.. to be an intern in hospital seems fun.. but, think i will regret ha~ need to collect a 5.5k b4 new sem starts man!for the external papers n some living expenses.. what a tough task...
and, i wanna start the violin course in yamaha during the holiday...it's going to cost some $ too...
gone to some websites n get to know spore airlines open their application for new cabin crew again..! the training period is 3.5 months, which kinda fits the timing of my intern..how great that would be if i'm in right? but then, interviews' on 16th~that's the first day of my finals...going to miss the chance again...
before that, i would like to hv my eyes cured...! it's been years having bad condition n the red eye prob keep bugging me.. for sure need to spend sometim in pg so that i can get bac to my doc time to time...anyhow, one tim consultation would be around hundred.. duh~wonder how i'm going to arrange my finances...
yet, if i stay at pg, i will need to rent a new room ther, get familiar with the public transpoort, etc..
and, i will need to fork two places' rental??geezz...
ther are plenty plenty of jobs out ther..n i basically dunno how to choose.. SASA?since i've ad part of them..although i never contact them ever since i got their offer..perfume department?with higher salary, with seats to rest..but can learn nothing n dull... hp stalls?very competitive, gotta mix with ppl who smokes.. skin care outlets?gotta makeup each day, LAZZYY~~ waitress? low income, freelancer? easy job yet with higher income, but arent stable..zzz~

'when u fail to plan, u're planning to fail'!! oh my gosh...i DON WAN that to happen to me!!!
i've always let opportunities given FADE with my eyes open..n it's going to happen again this time..
a good way to describe myself... i'm PATIENT!!
LOL~another way, i don hv the courage yet..still, wanna continue the road taken by most ppl...not, 'the road less taken'
this 3 months are so darn important to me...i'm a bit over worried >.<
so, HELP!!~~~~~

Brand New Year!!

2010-01-01T23:22:00.005+08:00

yea,okay...bit reluctant to post something for the moment~
but, it's a brand new day of the brand new year of 2010! so, cant miss it~~since blogging had ad bcame part of my life in some while since......dunno~~
well, nothin much that i want to post except for some emo thoughts that cross thru my mind for the past few days, for wat i've done n what tat i din...what tat ppl did to me, n what tat i do to others, plus to myself..
see, 'u never know the line u hv drawn until u hv cross them'.. i basically did cross A LOT of the limit which i think i wil never do..and until then only i start to ask myself, is this really what i wanted? what that i hv done?? sigh~ this happens a lot, specially in the year of 2009~ so, if u wan me to describe the year that i had.. i would say a bird that lost her direction~ n a year that i've done a lot to proof what i wanna know bout myself... including my own limits.. and to sort of like make the first step to be closer to 'start to live my own life'~
would i cal it a success?definitely no... but im still learning though.. to be better, although ther r some outcomes which u might never able to change anymore..
again, real life situation alwez comes with choices..n ther are some period of time, ur choice is that critical, n u just cant runaway, u must choose either one, n that one lil decision could influence the whole things coming along..
i've done some silly once, i mean, ther were like, wrong decision at the right timing?? which i think could be happened to a lot of ppl..
AND, i did stress myself a lot sometim.. am i really perfectionist ha?? i don really know.. but then, to what i know is, we as human being, can alwez grab what we wish for n what we wanted as long as we work on it.. mayb thats y~~ n this in turn makes me break down, n perform even worse than what i can...
mum was right though.. i aint anyone else.. i hv to look into myself, n what that ppl want might not b what i wanted, even though it seems like a must to achieve certain things in the life, at this age... guess i gotta slow things n gv up certain things though..
stil do, i wil try my best..!

but then again, today's 1st of 2010!!!lets cheer for that..!
new year new hopes! life stil goes on.. n i wouldnt say we need to totally forget whatsoever that hv hurt u or any regrets that u cant bare to take it to make the coming days for the year to be smoother n happier.. i would say, just take it as something that had ad past, n alwez try to b better~ build a better part of u thru those experience!
yea, hey, i got plenty of new dreams for the year actually~~
apparently i gone far more mature after so many things that happen in 2009..
i fall, get up, lost in my way, found some ways, get away from studies, then bac again, etc..
n here i am now..preparing for new challenges~!
this yr's going to b more interesting i guess~for that 3 months holiday ahead, n... chemistry as my final year project, plus Dr Teh as my supervisor~
sure do, need to get myself ready for lots of things.. yet, im excited to get things started!!

Happy new year everyone!! n good luck for the year~
yaY!~

You belong with me!

2009-12-31T00:30:00.002+08:00

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?
You belong with me

BAD

2009-12-28T04:57:00.009+08:00

drank some coffee at R2, n it worked on shuang ytd night! only get to fal asleep around 2 after some time struggling on bed..
woke up at 4 cuz cant bare to continue to sleep due to that stupid nightmares... sobs~
roommate isnt here, n that's a dream which continues the previous one few days ago..can't really recall when is it..but it just make things so REAL!
very damn scary..
keep having dreams that continue each n every part most of the time..what does that means?
sigh~ can go for nobody anymore as i hv nightmares...sad~
think the very last time i had one bad nightmares was in the past few months~in feb i guess~
since then im doing just fine....tonight just AIN'T a good night...
but i shall feel happy though~cause i did had nightmares very frequent previously, it's almost like once in a week interval~now that i only get one after so many months, means it should be of something normal to happen? hmm~~
having few important lectures tmr..n im basically still very sleepy..sigh~~
is this kinda like a symptoms for stress?
gosh~if that's so, it's going to torture me until end of Jan....
until then, i might already bcum a panda..!

dunno what to do to calm myself down n get bac to sleep...
the images just flash in as i close my eyes..
that's it tat i can tel...
sadly....
everyone's sleeping soundly...
guess wil get bac to sleep soon too~

The "kEy"

2009-12-27T17:00:00.010+08:00

now that i know who's holding the key...n that it wont work,
have my fingers cross, so that i wont repeat the same mistakes i did previously to others..
have them cross again..hopefully i wont lead myself to situation wher i cant get to choose n make wrong decision again..
have them cross again...for not letting me to b forced to decide lk how it was again..
an answer should be enough i guess =) though it make drives me crazy at times..hahax~

about two weeks left b4 exam...kinda scary~
mum dont let me to go for intern though i felt lk having them badly, sigh..
but, if that's how she wants, im fine with that....
got her msg telling me so, i was like..hmm,ok,nvm then...
still, dunno what to do or wher to go after Jan~which ther will be a three months holiday for internships..
but im sure the idea will come as the time has come...i will know what to do by then..
LOL..first time i never fight and strive for what i wan n wat i think is right..
darn....bad news is, i don feel like having the energy to get what i wan anymore, just let things be...most of them r not under my control..
good news, very peaceful me nowadays, n obedient too!
basically is that good??no idea...

Crazier~

2009-12-25T00:28:00.003+08:00

I've never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go
Till you open the door
There's so much more
I've never seen it before

I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
Then you came along
And you changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier~

Watched from a distance as you
Made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know
How that would feel
And you made it so real

You showed me something that I couldn't see
Opened my eyes and you made me believe

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier

Baby, you showed me what living is for
I don't want to hide anymore

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier, crazier

=)

母爱

2009-12-14T17:11:00.003+08:00

went bac hometown, meet mum, talked a lot with her..n it wasnt enough!!
wish that i can alwez be by her side..
hope she could be independent n be happy all the time~
she admitted it could be lonely at times...sigh~guess it's just like me, but, what can i do???
motherly love, affection and cares will never ends.. went bac, n for every little things that she did, showed she cares n love me very much..im such a bad daughter!!
felt tat deeply recently..no doubt im touched!!
ma mum, apparently is weak, was well pampered, was very damn lucky..but things changed, n she need to stand up n be very independent
ther would b nobody else to lean or rely on, n we as her children can never do a good job in mending her heart....only one that could help up was herself..tats y im strict, fierce sometim, n alwez did taught her same false theories to make sure she knows how to make herself happy..
hope she wil b doin well all the time, n be tough~just like what im trying to do..
anyhow...she definitely knows to shop A LOT ok??LOL~kinda feel lk mother lk daughter..*so cant blame me if u seeing me buying things don worth the price* ma mum is definitely a much more big spender~im nothin compared to her..kekeke!

may she alwez live well n be happy n healthy...
LOVE her!!n not to forget...love my family members too~ =)

of course, i went bac except to make sure she's doin fine, i was ther to let grandma know im doing fine, n to be at penang to remind me of who i am plus to attend cousin's wedding..
wedding went wel~n my little handsome jia wei grown up lu~3 yrs old now..n he likes me~hahahax....he's cute n smart!!he owns a family which i desire, hope i wil one like that too in my future =)
apart from being happy, heart aches a little seeing wei alone...havin a bro to paz away that young, must b very tough~ its obvious his father is tryin to do what he can to make him feel better...anyhow, i guess nobody would like to mention, but he alwez stays in our heart..

din attend any lec today..was damn tired!
bac in hectic life...gotta finish my reports as soon as possible lur!
aZa aZA!!

~Fear~

2009-12-14T00:17:00.001+08:00

12th Dec..

U know what??it took me 12 hours to bac from kl to penang..

Darn,wat happen to me huh?thats a mistake tat shuang wil never do..

After class at 4,took taxi over to titiwangsa then head to plaza~things start when the conductor asked me to get in to lumut’s bus..

Ever heard of tis place?wel, at least I din..

Anyhow,I got in..read my book..finally done wit the whole book~got tired n fal asleep..

By the time I woke up,its 716pm..start to look around n my instinct told me something went wrong..so I asked around wher exactly is the place known as lumut…The bus starts to head in kampong area…a lot of places that none of them are familiar to me, tats when my heart’s getting worried~after some while, stil not havin anyone reply my msg...bus driver display horror movie on the bus!crap…it was getting darker, ppl around look unfamiliar, places unfamiliar, the movie keep on making sounds of ppl screamin..sigh~!

Tortured 3 hours, n final outcome, I arrived lumut~n that’s the final destination of the bus…T.T

Went for the driver, he yelled at me for GOD knows wat, n ppl around lookin at me~he refuse to help me up, n the next thing he did, was just drive away…. =( leaving me alone…so obviously, im LOST n stuck in an unknown place,wit my lappie, n some cash..though I’ve alwez thought myself wont b in dangerous situation n that ppl r alwez nice, that night, I din feel so anymore…I was worried over the ppl ther, cuz I know they knew im not familiar wit the place n that they’re lookin at me for wat I wil do next…

One, if I were a person havin bad tempered, I would probably yelled bac at the driver n force him to fetch me bac..second, if I were weak at tat tim, I would probably break down n cry..however, apparently it may be my fault, I fal asleep..thats y~~so, did none of that, called mum, split out my condition n told her when I know wat to do wil then get bac to her.. I was lucky that I found a place sellin tickets n the next bus to ipoh was 1030~since it’s a wel known place compared to lumut, I rather got lost ther…so I bought the ticket..

Got into the bus, n eventually, i broke down…..aiks aiks! I cried, not bcuz im sad,etc…im screwed up! For the very first tim Im scared!!! I start to b afraid that mayb someday I wont b able to tk care of myself anymore..lotz of bad things happen lately, I even fal from the stairs!why ar??hmm, for the very first tim, my fear wins over shuang..it felt lk shuang aint tat tough anymore..n that scares me~im afraid that I might not b able to bare n tk care n tk control of the problems I wil be facing…n do trust me~somehow, my path is alwez rougher than others >.<

Long long night………..worst, I sure did make my mum n sis worried..felt so sorry…this is kinda lk the thing I would never do!!stil do,felt GOD is punishing me badly lately…

Stil,good to be home….a new home..at least to know mum is doing well here…tmr wil b better!

another jerk...

2009-12-10T06:02:00.004+08:00

*****

got a disk from dr wong on tues~never did expect he would do so..
he did mentioned lil bit about the content b4, guess he just wanted to share them wit me..
no doubt he treated me well, dunno the reason though..
feel so bad tat i din do wel in his paper >.<
when i thought bac, he actually helped me up a lot laz sem..aiks~~

suppose to hang out today..
'body says let's go, but my heart says NO'
why???
no idea...

presentations all CLEARED!!!

2009-12-07T17:26:00.012+08:00

yea, im off!no more presentations for this sem anymore~~
can i cheers for that for a lil moment...?
okok..
here it goes...
1.....
2............
3..................

YAAY!YAY!yaY!
phew~
wonder why do we as CB need to present that much, despite loads of reports, assignments, quizzes and tests..

wel,the cheers for now might represents something even bigger follows on...
u know wat i mean~n i know we're all abiding it..hahax!

juz went thru severe depression states for the whole weekends...
totally depressed!
guess i would be the only one who hates weekends huh?
the things that i did the most was sleep...n, how depress i was? i had most of my meals as tidbits n snacks~ sometim even skip main meals by sleeping.....sigh~
so damn down..felt like im in a cage..i wanna get out!!
and, suddenly have a thought today to travel to genting alone...enjoy the weather, have a little place for me to clear my mind and come bac again to face everything here...
im not trying to run away from problems..aint not being able to cope with stress either~
i juz, dont like tis kind of life style, it feels so damn bored!!
u know what shuang like the most??
it's to have a transport carrying me to places i dunno at all..
i've first experienced it during my high school yrs..to travel from places to places by buses, and i've been like that when im in kl too..from here, to sg besi, pandan indah, sunway, one U, the one that i wont forget the most is to TTDI~
wel, it might seems to be nothing for some of u out ther~but i guess ther could b very lil ppl lk me who's willing and who hv the effort to travel by public transport in Msia~since, they're quite sucks here..
hmm,that's probably why ppl tend to say im a very independent girl as while ppl of the same age stil being well protected, im out ther travelling here and there..they tend to worry bout my safety as well~some guys even like to say, they felt like wanna protect me seeing me tis way~zzz~~hahax,ok la,high school yrs, thats what they would say to get ur heart..
anyways, things that they wont know is, i actually enjoyed it..n im fine with that~
after all these yrs only i get to realize im a girl who strives for freedom...freedom inside my heart..aiks!

AND,
after so many days of suffering from not to shop, being extremely broke, i wil get my loan tmr lu!!woohoo~~
then i can start shopping~~!
and, if everythin's based on what i've planned, i can shop, play, vocations, yet stil survive, with my own finances AGAIN...geezz...tel me im brilliant~ >.< hahahax...
but i know, mum and sis wil alwez be ther when i need anything~~they love me much =)
just that, most of the tim mum would act more like a kids than i do...
im definitely going bac hometown tis week!
cant wait!!!~
and and and,
next movie that i wanna watch, LOVE HAPPENS~

never went for genetics class lately..din grab whole of the basics of that crossing over thingy yet..
how to go for tmr's quiz??hmm...

~END~

not my day...

2009-12-05T04:03:00.005+08:00

din get to finish up presentation for the journal..
she asked some basic ques n that tk too much time to ans them~
though i did spent quite some effort n lots of time of the journal...=(
maybe i should thought..what if.....could it be more meaningful n more effective??
neh,should not think that way...
anyhow, good to hv a feelin of teamwork this time =) though we might not be fast, but everyone do contribute!!n its alwez nice to work together...

hmm,stil do know how to do tang's test~
tats the only thing that comfort me for the day..

n do hate college's microscope...!
no klcc for the day >.<
n tears start to fall when it hurts...

reached home, bought some snacks, ate the snacks,watched my favorite drama n straight away went to bed,so tat i wont spend tim thinkin tat much~~~
hope it wont swells...

things that u dare not do...

2009-12-02T00:46:00.005+08:00

today's first of dec already!!time flies~~but i LOVE this month a lot..!xMaS is COMING!!
and,
i can shop n hv fun for the month n everything will be on sales~!
too bad, im seriously, extremely, terribly bRoKE for the moment...!sigh~
but stil, goin to watch movie tmr~shop next week n bac to pg hv fun wit friends over ther too...!
liek's going to US soon,so going to meet him up~
y everyone's going to US???LOL~
then, goin to fly bac to attend 10am class on mon morning..
might continuously bac for the following weeks~~~how bout tat?muahaha~
im late for class today!30 minutes late...
tats a bit over though, my limit was 15 min previously..n now it's lk half of the class d..grr~
but lec was nice~cuz marks are counted in coursework for today's attendance, not that she din ask for the reason for those who came late, she reminds us must sign for it to get the marks!
n, when i hand in the pop quiz, she asked if i und, n when i say im late n i din know what she taught, she din got mad but immediately show me everthin~she's real nice!!but, y there're so many negative impression bout her from seniors?
wel, at least for what i know she's passionate!
not lk those others, who will got stressed up by juz by markin the reports, who talked lk only few students in front are able to hear her, to be too demanded,etc~
the typical she that i mentioned said she might need to reconsider to pursue her dream as a lecturer in the future after completing her masters...i wish i could tel her, its a yes,she definitely need to reconsider it...at least, i think she's aint ready..not YET!we students are lk tat~unwilling to response, etc..im kinda fed up with the spoon feed attitude too, but what can we really do about that?there're actually tons of ppl who're not willing to change their behavior even though they know its not right..somehow,they don even know how to get things right...we cant change the whole world..but, we can patiently, slowly, guide ppl through..n to me, that's wat lec do..cuz i've seen a lot who did very well in performin tis task..n i salute them!really do...
sorry if i offended anyone~

quite moody nowadays though..
having sleepless night for this few days..kept thinking the same stupid things which are not suppose to pass thru my mind~everything was still so fresh though it actually happened for lk 2 3 yrs ago?
hmm,guess only 2 person will und wat am i talking..first reaction i got from a guy..u're SILLY!
okay,i am..no idea on how to control what i am feeling n thinkin though..
second reaction from a gal..hmm,its ok, it takes time...im like, aiks~~i've took bout one yr already..how long will it takes somemore?i cant wait!!don wan it to bother me that much~~
E.N.D.~

cont with...
things that u dare not do in ur life~
guys,frankly speaking, how many things in ur life that u don dare to gv a damn to try?
to me,ther're aplenty....*ok,i aint coward though*
hmm..for eg. don dare to speak what's in my mind sometim,knowing that my words might be harsh~
afraid to try out alcoholic drinks, smoke, etc..knowing that i might bcum someone else after i tried them..
don dare to try up something real hard, afraid that i might fall in the end..
not letting myself to try up my own dream as well, afraid that someday i might regret for what i had decided..
even in love life too~!
okay,am i a big loser here??
DON WAN me to act that way...

n ern..yea, i said, i thought, perhaps someday, maybe i wil meet u again~
fine, someone heard that n it comes true now...i met him everyday, but only to realize i aint ready to face it yet..!
full with guilt..meanwhile, there will be some period of tim when i self doubt whether my decision was really right?
but, knowing that i cant b able to gv my 100%, cant be able to start to trust... it's aint fair for both party...temporary, that's the best that i can do..
i know, i und, n i can see from those eyes...but i CANT!
sigh~~
wel, what the book tells me today?
there're too many counterfeit forms of love and too many ppl who say,"I love you bcuz i need you", or "i love you bcuz i wan you!".
such possesive forms of love are not real
they seek to get something from the other person instead of giving something.
so, learn to laugh~when u laugh, u can love, bcuz then u're loving ppl bcuz they need u and the joy u can bring to their life~~

bOrEd~~

2009-11-27T21:01:00.007+08:00

wat a public holiday......
did some spring clean, done one report, watched gossip girls~then, refuse to do anything else..im slow..!!!
yet, too bored!!
finally willing to start off violin lesson on my own~
though don really know how to hv the exact posture,etc,but manage to play twinkle little stars n jingle bell now...muahahah!
anyhow, stil need someone to guide me..
dr wong said ther's no sharp n flat for violin..but y i saw ther is sharp in the score??how how?anyone?

n erm...housemate don let me watch pps.. T.T
the one n only entertainment that i hv...sobs~
so bored..!yet, so slow in doing the things tat i shall do~
thought of preparing for presentation in the intervals when im tired of report cuz it might wont be that heavy..
but i was totally wrong...reading the journals kept my heart beat increase~!
hv to read 3,4 times to catch the meaning....
=(((((((((
wonder how others go through their days n time...

keep it up!!

LOL~~bloggy is back!

2009-11-26T18:23:00.008+08:00

feel so lonely here without readers..hahax~kinda stop ppl from viewing wat i wrote for some while..
cuz did realize ther wil alwez b third party or ppl judging wat i wrote~~n its kinda scary though..
anyhow..since im fine now,guess i can afford it =)

went dinner wit sis ytd...
think pic could express better~~

~sui mui~

me~unwilling to look at the camera cuz i know i aint pretty~~

bought violin dy..but never really started the class after i've registered...
alwez cant decide well when wanna get something to be done huh..
but guess i hv my own point too..m2u isnt really the place wher i can learn much i guess...kinda disappoint me wit the guitar lesson dy,y should i go for another one?
anyhow,i wil find my way...

n yea, i started to let the book to tel me some stories again~
hmm..~~and it's entitled "Anyway"

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tmr.
Do good anyway.

The biggest ppl with biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest ppl with smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

Ppl favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for some underdogs anyway.

What u spent yrs building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

Give the world the best u hv and u'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway!

if u hv faith as a mustard seed, u will say to this mountain,'move from here to there',
and it will move;
and nth will be impossible to u!!*though im not really christian*

get it??

nah~its okay... =)

HaiHHH....

2009-11-25T22:42:00.003+08:00

d day..............
class end at 12 today..should hv spend some tim to do some reports n prepare for presentation but,went to sing k..n met my sis after tat..n i juz got bac home..
sigh~its been lk few days dy since i last touch anything related to my studies..
went movie,hang up wit sue,helped to do advertisement for fren,etc..
more emo is tat,i've gotta change the status in fb,n as i thought, ppl are going to comment a lot!!!!!
n tmr,there wil be ppl to observe each n every of my action,whether i look sad, whether im emo, whether i look tired,etc....sien~*or perhaps i think too much*
but ever since i change it,ppl start calling,start asking..........
can i just,don wanna talk about it?
im tired d too actually...

tmr is his bday lur...wish him to hv a very good bday~
n hopefully his fren is treatin him wel too =)
my bad...not to be able to be ther for him anymore...

goin to bed soon~not plannin to do any of my reports n assignments yet..

TIRED!

back to the starting point....

2009-11-23T18:52:00.004+08:00

after all the opinions from ppl around,n after some while spending some tim to think bout it..here's my decision...to bac to the starting point...

met up sue n she staying in my condo on sat~
feel so comfortable juz being able to talk to her..
n she actually gave me some tips on how to face the 'stress' that is kinda not necessarily to happen in me in my group..
kinda relief though...
true also,i don really hv to care so much,i am who i am..
n wat i need to do is to be myself~
just need to do wat i feel is correct right?
i love last min work...*trying to work on it*
im typical in my work b4 hand it in...*just accept the fact*

going to help a fren from arts skol in completing their assignment..
second time helpin ppl from other skol..
some how,feel their life is a lot happier than CB..LOL~

keep going on...!

Tiring week

2009-11-14T00:30:00.005+08:00

Finally, the most stressful week for me until now since the sem begins have comes to an end...
sleepless nights, stressful, blur~all happen in the week..
yet, i din do well in many reports n assignments...
the feeling was actually kinda weird too~
its the very first time shuang gets serious in her studies..normally, i would work most of the time, have fun, hang out for the days and study only was likely to be a minor little things tat i wil do few days before exam..
i hv to say, the lecturers change my thoughts n behavior...plus, my result for last sem kinda motivate me too..lecturers are really great though, they guide me,talk to me n listen to me..love them!
sigh...din hang out for like one month dy...which actually never happen to shuang before...i wanna go sing k, watch movies, meet up wit frenz, chit chat, etc neh...but the thoughts were being suppress....wanna try to hv a semester where i really put in my effort n wait for the outcome..
oh yea, a lot of ppl askin me whether going to work for pc fair next month..think i wont go i guess...sad~cant join them n work together lu,ppl, jia you in hitting the targets given yea!n i will continue work harder on the things i should do..
miss my friends!cant hang out much wit them nowadays...hope u guys doing well

going to sleep very soon~nite nite =)

keep everything on track

2009-10-22T05:51:00.005+08:00

when everyone's sleeping soundly in this early morning, i woke up at 2am (slept at 9 last night)
but, convincing myself to have some rest so that i wont overwork myself..
so, study from 4am til now... i wanna get back to sleep! but no i can't..
everything seems like getting started dy.. hectic life is going to come anytime~
almost everyday need to sit for tests and quizzes.. assignments, reports, etc..
but this time round, shuang can never be lazy like last time anymore..
i'm going to study real hard!
at the same time, to have enough sleep as well.. ngek ngek~

tues finally get to have to korean food that had planned for so long..and, continue went to sing k wit Bb's friends..that's without planning though..
get to know how his friends actually are.. what have he been doing all this while~
though his friends were like totally out of the one i might mix with..
i mean, i dont really like those who smoke and drink.. especially in huge amount~
(my friend is going to say i change ad,etc) but i din really mind actually..good to know new friends.. especially good to know his friends =)

argh..left 50 min more to get prepare and sit for the quiz..
still figuring out how to solve the probability..
hopefully im going to score well later!
azA AzA fIghtinG~~

gambate shuang!

gambate Bb!!

smile~~~**wink**

Deepavali with Arshana~~

2009-10-18T19:15:00.009+08:00

yaya..few months after the grad ceremony, get to meet Arshana again...
she looks still the same,talk in the same way as b4 too...

before going out

she.telling some updates about her life over Utar..

we, on the other side,listening while eating..

and, of course, the journey from here to sg buluh was not near...it takes some time to reach there since we're taking public transport..and here is the time, i caught ppl to talk about them..
anyway..congrats to clement lur...he got 6 As last sem ok?of course, he paid a lot of hard work there...
worth achieving such results~~congrats!! =)

meaningful day~
gotta start my work on studies lur...
gambate everyone!!

PW my bloggy...

2009-10-17T22:25:00.002+08:00

yayyay~~finally get to privatize my bloggy lur..
from now on only few person can read through my blog..
and,temporary, just 2 or 3 very important person in my life able to have the access..kekeke!
so, if u get to log in, means~~~~yes! u r very important to Shuang! =p
maybe will add on more as time goes by..

~happy~

college reopen day 4..

2009-10-07T00:41:00.003+08:00

duh....y shuang stil refuse to sleep neh?darn....moody moody~~~~
if...just if..i could know what is going to happen next..
heart feel like wanna scream out loud.....

anyhow,here's schedule for the following days~
steamboat tmr,movie day thurs..followed by kukup trip or malaca....

the rest would be loads of reports and assignments as we all know...

change the layout,mayb could see better this way~
good nite everyone...

shortest n most meaningless post for the day~

came out from the hole

2009-10-04T22:11:00.010+08:00

after resting for a week in hometown, reluctantly back to kl in order to attend The Star Fund ceremony...the ceremony went well,get to feel the environment and that when they mentioned bout those students' achievement are simply great~~except for one, those ppl from **** college actually mentioned tarcians as backschool ppl~~ 'dude,u're bit tut man' ok,u own a car,speak fluent english,good family background, so what?? anyhow,don let them spoil tat~stil happy though!! =)

The time has come...........

2009-09-29T20:27:00.012+08:00

TIME??for?

pack and rearrange my clothes lur~~

mEsS!!!

LOL~dunno y so much of formal wear in black too..

gai gai clothes..stripes ==' they juz caught my eyes~~

~jeans + pants + skirts~hah!am i done.......? argh~need to squeeze inside the wardrobe...dUH~

haha,stupid duck duck! cute bb~
helped them bathe jor lu...smells nice~

wan some huggies from them??keke!

except for tat...wanna say sorry sorry SORRY to someone............

n that,mr ETS, nice chatting wit u too,work hard for ur singing~~

to chai,good luck for ur match! gambate!!!

din hv my dinner...not going to eat lu,so fat nowadays...sad~~~sobs..

alone here in kl's condo,awaiting tmr's ceremony...bit bit scary actually...gotta hang out more often after tat,avoiding myself think bout those silly stuffs~~

EnD!!

oh yea, bout my eyes...u know wat?doc said its bacterial infection..im having bad skin,that's y easily infected..im lk..r u serious??? totally different with what the previous doc told me..but what i know is,the scar got worsen..hv to tk it seriously in curing dy..can't hv surgery yet,need to keep them in more stable condition....that makes me think again,then,how bout my dream job??gv up?
anyway, except for giving me 3 types of eye drops,he asked me to buy microcycline myself..very familiar for cbs rite??yea,we studied the disease,the symptoms,treatment,but didnt really studied the side effects..
he said there's going to be rashes (hypersensitivity) if im allergic to that antibiotic...
that medicine is not allowed to sell in the hospital (Gleneagles medical center) what does that mean? n, he asked me to try for one week n if im ok,continue for a month..y izit so?i thought we hv to consume enough dosage to kill all the bacteria n avoid developing resistance?
LOL~never thought so fast need to apply back what i've studied on myself ler...
never bought the medicine yet actually...if im allergic to it then what shud i do?
but wil,for sure try it someday within this week la..i wanna get well too!!

T.T

2009-09-24T23:32:00.002+08:00

Friday, September 18, 2009

Moving forward on a positive note
Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together, and I am grateful and blessed for our remaining friendship. I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. He is the most amazing person I know and I love him with all my heart. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note.
Thank you to all my family, friends and fans for all your support.

Avril

=( everyone's devasted....
hope for the best~
hope both of u will be fine...

REst Rest

2009-09-21T22:42:00.008+08:00

finally...in the mood to post something here~
done exam lu..! enjoying holiday right now.. am i?? kinda bored frankly,keke!
bac together with sue~met aunty and had dinner in her house b4 back to my sweet sweet home too..time flies..but guess this friendship will never ends..thanks aunty~~ =)

now at ah ma's house lu..enjoying seafood n away from hectic lifestyle...

awaiting sunset all alone~~

nice?

Only one word to describe....

~DISAPPOINTED~

2009-09-07T22:09:00.007+08:00

haha, long time never have this kind of feelings dy...
sad because din do well in exam..
shuang finally back, found the excitement and the real purpose to study~
that's why im emo right now..because i do care~~
lost my direction b4, dont feel lk wanna put much effort in studies too, cuz its all juz memorizing...when u found the right method to squeeze everything inside, u're able to score..seen a lot ppl study that way..n that's how i got demotivated..

first paper moral, used one day to study everything.the next morning sitting in the examination room, just felt like wan the 2 hours to paz as soon as possible..my heart ain't there..ended up, i ans not according to what is require..something really funny..when everyone felt the paper is easy, that's where i will score badly..

anyway, this time round is different... really testing ur analyzing skills and understandings..
although i know i din do well, although i know i knew the thing but i did it wrongly...but it just feel so right =) big thanks to tingy, chai rou, mango n mika for bringing me back...
sometimes exam is not about to score how many As, well cannot deny, it is actually.. it's not about helping students to be able to just pass..it's about how much u able to absorb and learn..but of course i know everyone's aims are different, lecturers are trying to be a good person to everyone as well..
but this is what meant by exam to me...probably i used to score badly in jit sin dy..hahax~so kinda find back the feeling...dont be afraid to lose dude, what matters is the process..
i've met ppl who just so used to be the top of the top, they cant accept themselves to fall or fail~i met some as well which are happy go lucky, they don't mind bout everything, but just live their life happily..
both are find for me actually..u never know who is going to be the success one in the end of the day..most important is, U knOw whAt u'rE dOinG~~~

i can feel everyone is struggling and trying their very best too...
To all CBs....never give up yea! don't worry, be happy~

eye stil havent fully recover..got worsen too..

sigh..GoOD LuCK everyone~~~

~smile~

Dry eye....

2009-08-30T19:15:00.012+08:00

dry eye is BACK~~~haunt me again.. T.T
perhaps overworked my eyes dy..now, cannot study much, cannot sit in front of my lappie much too ler..sad~
its not due to infection nor conjunctivitis~just...sensitive and dry..not contagious too....since the accident yrs yrs back,leaving sensitive eye and blurry vision..never did raise my concern bout my eye to my family members also.. they would probably say...'don't think so much la, don't play pc games too much or don't overwork it then shall be fine'.. hmm...doc did advise undergo surgery by twisting the membrane or else things.. but it's going to cost some $$ too..didnt get to involve in sports activities for long lu, especially those that have to do with balls~~ cuz im not able to position them.. what i can do?? just take good care of the eyes and don feel sad lu.. =)

staying and rest in the house, nothing much that i can do, nobody in the house with me also, lonely~~~everyone else busy with their own study as well.. sigh..
only my bb n old old de keyboard can accompany me ler..

tried to play canon, the one i learnt during spm..made a lot of mistakes neh, feel lk getting slow in response dy too, hahax!

anyhow, miss the piano in hostel...miss those days play n analyse together with VADs too...

by the way, guitar was left behind, din sayang her for long ler...muahaha~learnt one yr plus dy, skills stil so so..zzz~~

hope my eye can fai fai recover la...need them to continue study for exam...

FINALLY

2009-08-24T18:20:00.007+08:00

hmm...finally get to know the fact that HE be with HER is not just rumours...it really does exist...dunno y....having mixed feelings~~curious,excited,happy,sad,hatress,n...relieved~~
anyhow,she is a gal im quite familiar with,stil do, feel happy for them.. for at least i know she will bring happiness for ppl around and no doubt for him...
so, wish all the best for them~ chang chang jiu jiu~~~

previously still keep doubt bout my ownself whether i can let go or not. still feel guilty for not doing good enough.. But, he proofs that life still goes on. we all hv to do so.. just let go~ though, my heart dies there for hopes. anyhow, thanks for setting my heart FreE....

But, never do think all the guys are the same. there will still be nice one, who is meant for me... he found hers, but im not going to make myself have one just for the sick of having one.
They say, when you wan LOVE, just open the door, get the key of ur heart and u'l find them. True for me. that's y, never do wan one for now too. True love need not to be in a rush. Its not that i never tried falling in love or being loved by someone before. And, it's not that i don't have what it takes as well. Had it once is enough lu, for now, wanna focus in what i need to do. For better future, to love my family n my friends~~and enjoy being loved by them as well...need to pamper myself more ler...protect my heart from getting more scars too~

for all my friends out there, im fine..need not to worry =)

for guys out there too, shuang is single but she's practically not available~~keke! if u wanna be my friend, be a true n good one... not for the purpose to tackle a gal or to do some kind of 'investment' on somebody, ok??

that's all for now~~~

~~CompLeX sImpLicItY~~