Be Content

It's been a month~~~ a month, me staying on ground not flying off to anywhere...
i miss so many countries already...sobs T.T

but ern, no more aircraft food, no more using hotel towel, hotel beds, shampoo, no more coping with jetlag, hanging out alone, bla bla~~~ =P
maybe just like anyone else has said, u have gone through the worst emotions of all... the rest of it, couldnt possibly be any worse~
i may not have everything i used to have... but physically, mentally, i do feel good =)
truth is, i felt like sth great is going to happen.. n yea, it will happen~ where comes the strong faith? i hv no idea..keke!

have no idea wat future is going to be like... atm, just taking my time off.. to rest for a lil while~ the one year, is sth i owe myself to anyway~~
like how 'life of pi' mentioned, God is watching.. he is always there.. n when u need a shelter, a place to rest, He would provide u the best place of all, full of resources tat u ever need...

me wanna say thanks today... simply because i can stand still on ground, waking up seeing colours in the world, a nose to breathe, the fingers to touch, the hands n legs to move, the lungs tat work perfectly well.. the diaphragm  tat is still working just so i can play the flute tat hv long lost contact, hax! n above all, every single thing tat i own... every single soul that i hv met..

being contented n simple, is the best feeling.. EVER!

couldnt be more grateful, n just wan myself to rmb this feeling~~

The magical world~

yo yo yo~~~ have no idea what brings me here...  but ahem, i feel lk blogging again~
没有想法，有想法又能怎样，只能写部落格整晚～oooo..so sad! hax!!

so anyway, if u hv known, i left my job~
the job that once i was standing there, i feel grateful every sec of having it...
the job tat every time leads me to a new place, my heart juz went speechless..
hv always wanted to travel around..n the very first time i did was when i'm 21 yrs old...my first passport,my first country to singapore~ n since then....it bcame around the world =)
the job that, makes me hv the buying power to b able to own a piano n start off the journey to explore music..
never once this ever appear to me that it would be real...
so yea..... i thank God for every single bit i hv gain in these two yrs.. best yrs in my life i would say~

as much as ther's perks, ther wil also b a downside to it...
think i hv lost much passion to ppl lately..never really wanna commit in a relationship, never hang out much, becoming very self-protected, less patience..
i dont sing much anymore...cant sing well, cant play well....
i hv always thought me as a malaysian like to trouble the mind, a lot....like, it's a small prob then we just like to exaggerate it n live as if tat's the biggest obstacle of all....n act, like u couldnt handle them at all..it's the negative thing tat i've seen how ppl been acting, n i always thought that's like one of the weakness that is really apparent that keeps the country holding back..
but coming here, made me realize, that's not the worse after all..... worse is how the society here, make ppl here couldnt be content about everything they own~ every single day, they would complain bout certain thing..
i mean yea, tats how they improved n make us improve....but, two yrs is enough~
in contrast, im still staying back here..pretty sad for the fact that i've made such a decision..
hopefully,someday i would say, i made a wrong judgement....i said sth wrong back then =)

back to the topic, the Magical World~~~
of course not the one that i've chosen..it was from a book, the magic,that i really wanna share..that starts lk this...
'Rmb when u were a child n u looked at life in total wonder and awe?
Life was magical and exciting, and the smallest things were utterly thrilling to u.
You were fascinated by the frost on the grass, a butterfly flittering thru the air, or any strange leaf or rock on ground.........
.....but somehow as we grew into adults, responsibilities, problems, and difficulties took their toll on us,
we became disillusioned, and the magic we once believed in as children faded and disappeared.'
of course it went on by trying to make us blif the life u live could be magical.. how u could hv live ur life with dreams~
not trying to promote the book anyway, i've stop reading half way....
just would lk to raise a gentle reminder to my dear frenz..tat hv somehow lost hopes in life..
that has lost themselves in the process...
that ended up settle for things tat society make them for...
tat, ended up act lk another person, just so that u think that's a survival skill to blend in the culture..

as i made the decision to quit, i've spoke to quite a number of ppl..some scoldings from ppl i obviously dont admire, some ques been asked..
some goes, 'u must hv gone out of ur mind, do u know how much ppl would give to hv the pay u're having? can u settle for pay cut in future?'
most would ask, 'u hv any plans ahead d?'
of course some would also, be very encouraging =)
n of course ppl in the field would somehow, felt it's quite a big step..

n that made me really like a quote that someone sent to me,
" the Poorest man is whose he only Wealth is Money "

of course i'm not saying money is not important...
growing up in a single parent family, i would say, i'm pretty money minded~
but what disheartened me is when it breaks a relationship, it drifts u apart from the things tat make who u r, it changes ur mind about the good things in life....

so im here, to wish, those that hv advised me on how important it is, to hv financial support, to wish those that may hv been really stress at their present financial status, to find a peace of mind =)
take some time to look around u n b grateful of wat u hv...
ppl always say,life is short~ make the fullest out of it..
i do blif in that!
but at the same time, i also blif life is pretty long....... long enough to make u hv time to explore a lot of things..
if u make money as the only goal, the houses, the cars, etc... that's when u will feel ur life is short~

cheers ppl! have a good day ahead!!

love*

Speak FAITH

Yo!! been wanting to blog lately, dunno how to put the bits of thoughts into words... after a very good night sleep, here i am sat in front of the pc, trying to put it tgt~

So, went to Austria, Salzburg, Mozart's birthplace..

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
someone i've heard a lot, but never really expect much.. i thought it's sth like they always say, talented ppl, where to which we always see in the tv show n stuff...

but, for someone to start the music path at the age of 3, start composing at the age of 8.. manage to compose a full concerto at the age of 12... full concerto.. is like music is his words, he can express them by picturing, hearing, the violin, the flute, trumpet, drums......n, im impressed for the fact that he's a traveller.. despite his financial status..

watched his story thru Amadeus, where ther're two main characters, one of which, Salieri..
to be honest, i didnt get motivated, like at all.... in fact, i feel devastated.. especially the scene when Salieri wrote a song for Mozart when he march in to meet the emperor.. Mozart walked in while the emperor played the composed song... later part, he claimed that he had the song in his mind..n when he was asked to play that song, he did it with no mistakes, n manage to add lots more colour to the song~
now, i do realize talent is really beyond words... it's like u know exactly which key (major,minor) to b used, which chord would gv the feelings u wan to express, which musical direction to b used, wat kind of colours u can add in it....
it's not just studying them, it's really about applying them,dont they?

probably u would und me better by this video


it kinda hit me lately tat now only i know what music is all about, n that gives me like a very heavy weight in my heart...
anyway, trying to get rid of a lil bit pressure out of myself lately...i know very well for the fact when u r stress, u cant produce anything great! so,yea, just trying my best not to think too much~

ytd, one lady,claim herself as 83 yrs old,but she looks great, really.. out of no where when i was talking to her, she grab my hand made a fortune telling on my life...
i...really dont need that..
but sometimes, i would like to blif tat that's kind of a msg sent from God, where the lady was sent to speak faith in me..
n i appreciate them very much~!
i would never forget how in my life, someone speak faith in me n asked me to try things tat i never would..
would never forget the doc whom place a interest in my life n decided to help me thru..he told me, if tats wat u wanna be, i would love to help u~dont ever need to b worry..
n that, leads me to who i am today..
sometimes i dont get how kind-hearted ppl could do that all the time~
i wish someday, i could speak faith to someone too~ =)

sth from the book, the phrase 'Every setback is a setup for a comeback.'
i believe =))

dont really know whether or not u would get this post..hahahaha! just sth in my mind i feel lk i hv to burst them out..dont bother~blah~~

just, please, keep in faith~

Thank you ZRH~

just wanna say,thank you ZRH, thank you ppl for the company =)
thank you, passionate ppl for reminder~~

a constantly changing off days to working days in June kinda make me lose my way..
freaking  tired like look into mirror now n dont feel lk im looking at myself ><
a promise to myself, whenever i start hybernating for most stations, im gonna leave..n,kinda fall into that lately, but.. guess this trip save me,haha! ok,zipped~~

anyway, out of so many very nice pics taken, i just wanna share this.........

i dunno how about u..but to me, when u r on the way, with lots of ppl around u....it gets so contagious like whatever ppl r doing, u will b doing..whatever ppl want, u feel lk having an urge to need that too~
u may get very uptight n stress up for the savings in ur acc each days,
the sales u may get each days,
the retirement age,
the house, the car....... @@
take a look at this ppl~~ what they r doing when u r doing all that?
they r exploring, getting to know the world better...the life better~
of course it may sound lame to some ppl...... dunno, the choice is urs~

got pretty disheartned by the society lately for demanding n ridiculous requests,
for setting a wall to protect themselves, stay in a distance not trusting each other..
for not having respect just bcuz u hv a status or u r in the position where u 'think' u can act n say whatever u wan~

today ther's one kids, one baby keep yelling n crying..guess most of the ppl around didnt hv rest that they wanted.....
but,ther's not a single complaint~
makes me wonder,if this happen in certain society group, i may have to deal with lots of unhappy faces asking me to keep their mouth shut...
that, kind of like a wake up call to me knowing, although a lot of ppl hv been acting n behaving in a way that brings u down..but still, there r lots of them out there whom r nice, forgiving, understanding~

so yea,please girl, dont gv up on the world, dont lose ur smile, dont get tired....
for, the ppl who would willing to smile with u in the future =)
i thank you, for ppl who wiling to smile with me at the present moment~ love you guys!!
n,u know who u all r =))



Enjoy~

Paris,we meet again~ =)

soOO, it's a Paris trip after coming back from Narita,LA....
already planned to hang out alone, around the museums, clear out the mind, enjoy myself......

 did some surveys, came out with one piece of paper with some infos,

head out, not really knowing the way,

dunno how to speak their language~

of course, i do afraid to do so..Parisan may be ranked as top few tat is pretty rude,especially if u're a foreigners,

plus, pick pocket can be their sort of career,they r very good in it~

anyway...

 it's their National day~ happy bday Paris! =)

(got approached by a french guy along the walk...phew~luckily he didnt follow me all the way..)

 the handwritings in the 18th century~ cool ha!

 the lock n keys they used for prisons last time~

 The hall of men-at-arms

 the rose window

of course, the sainte-chapelle =)

and ern, went to the les tiuleries garden, n sat down in front of the pond.........pure relaxing, n i felt in love with Paris~

probably, truth is, Im not in love with korea, not paris,not nothing......i just love to explore and travel like this~

if u ever notice, i stop complaining lately, i dont feel im lost lately either...i do think, i am really doing what i love to do... minus a certain cons, im perfectly great!

but then again, i know this thing cant last long....ther should be a plan B... till then, let me just indulge in this innocently perfect moment please...

i dont wanna stop, just yet!  =))))

finally went to take a look at monet's water lilies drawings.....

went downstairs where they r having an exhibition..

was fairly disturb by one artist with couple of drawings where the image r all distorted..then, had some weird dreams over the night..

hax!!

but, i like this feelings!!!~
and, spotted one old couple in the hall at that moment...the lady trying to show and explain what she sees in a drawing that attracted her....
i got pretty jealous~ i think, to get someone u like and like u back, is tough.....
to get someone who share what u love doing, and love to do the things u love, is pretty tough..
to get someone who do so and can be with you till u get old....is even tougher~
to have that someone to do so and be with you and still doing what he used to do,still love sharing what u guys love to share with each other, is......not sth tat can be easily come by...so yea,they caught my attention, and im envious ~

of course,in a good way =)

bunch of doctors and vips were with us today..heading to jakarta..guessing they hv sth big going on there..
worked with this....ahem, who liked to accused everyone else for doing wrong, but not himself..
i fought back.. finally i learnt to speak out for myself....though in the end, he still constantly saying how i did wrong, i did my part..n i blif, ppl around me, r not blind~
he made a girl cried......as much as i hope i can help, i couldnt get involve...
hope, truth speaks out in the end..

and,i got this again today, were i was sweating running here n ther, getting things done..another girl whom was suppose to play as a team, held a paper, going around, gracefully...
i didnt say a thing...

gonna stick back to the conclusion i hv the other day,
if u dont hv the courage to speak for urself, u cant blame others for taking u for granted..
so yea,im taking it..
when its over the line, i would mayb, someday, try to tell someone off.......
but i think, i feel better this way~ not sayin a thing, work is work! (hopefully)

till then, ciao~ =)