As u can see from the title...this is the longest night ever that i have gone through.Just finish my exam today,had 4 hours nap,and by the time i wake up it's 10 o'clock,but i hardly remember how i fall asleep and what is actually happening around..
Now is almost 4 o'clock already,been trying to sleep with the music on but it's not working...and that makes me figure out to start a blog for myself to pass the time left for this night...i know my language and writing may not be good enough to express myself but,forget bout it la,just wanna find a place to bla out everything...
So,what's the main thing that bothers me whole night?i mean...harlo,it's time to sleep,u will get panda eyes tmr morning or u may spend ur whole day napping..but stil,it's useless...Haiz..so many things that keep running in my mind nowadays..friends,family,love,my attitude,the environment,the society,the reality,etc...
Shall i start now??hehe...mayb u wil be thinking..this hoay shuang ar,talk nonsense only then can start,yea la,watever....talking about friends...Friends.....what does friends really stand for? friends=counselor when u face any prob? or friends=the one which u expect to help u when u need someone to do something? or friends=transport? or... friends=the notes when u missed ur lecture?? friends=future gf/bf or even...friends=money?! Hmm....no answer for that.. To me,friend is just a friend,a person u might meet which may helps to colour up ur life...or maybe to helps in teaching u how to cope and go through ur life with the way it suppose to be...but now,i kinda realize things will change very quickly..say,today i may understand what u're thinking,but tmr,i might not....today u telling me something about urself,tmr u're acting the other way round...when i came to kl,i felt horrible..i have to be apart with all my friends that so used to each other,all my friends who treat me very well..Arghh,miz them....but when im here,i start to realize,it's all on ur own girl,u have to find a way to get a new life here and for sure,there will be a bunch of great friends u wil meet...yea,maybe....i'm not trying to say who betray me know?Just...cant really get it..maybe im just too immature...am i?or,think too much probably...there's no everlasting stuff in this world..i cant expect things and feelings to last,cause the world and ppl all related by communication and interaction...if i wanna do so but u may not wan to,there's no point right? (crap again....just a foolish way to persuade myself)
Family...talking bout family....i may cry each time i think about it...why?....there's no exact answer for that...things change every day,every second..u may not know what will happen to u the next minute...when u realize,it's brilliant,my life is great,aa aa...don tell it out loud,cause god might take it away from u....anyway,the thing that is bothering me now is...as age grows,family members..say,bro wil move to malaca to pursue study,few years later sis going as well,few few years later it's my turn...ok,not yet...few few years later it's time to work,so maybe bro got his jobs here,sis there,me another place,mum stay at hometown,waiting for us to go back in our spare time...continue,after that marriage,with another new born family...so?? so,in conclusion,we will all have to apart due to a lot of reason..haizz.....
Love...when u decide to really commit in love,u will realize it's not easy...aiya,crap again la shuang...hehe,ok,mayb i don deserve to talk much bout tis topic..but the only thing that i can say is...it's not easy to really maintain it..when u care bout it,u might hold it too tight and at the end,both suffer...if u don like care so much,to me,it's empty inside,what for be together??when u realize got prob already but it just cannot solve,so how??aih...no answer...
My attitude...seriously,do i have attitude prob?neh...dunno...i think i do,most of us do....to me,i will spend a lot of time thinking let say..today i said '....' did i say it wrongly?my horoscope is libra,so i think this affect me the most...cause,im a lazy person,when u ask me to go out,no no,definately it will be a no...second,when i feel i can do this and that,i may expect u can do it as well...so when u don,i will be like a bit mad..er,as in just a bit mad...when we're doing the same thing,say..study in the same class,i tried my best to study or should say at least i will put some effort in it,but when i see ppl just wasting their time,do other stuff which got no benefits...i wil be....mad as well......but then,i wont say out la,it's just the feeling inside..it's lk my heart is talking and keep finding answer or excuse for them..sigh,i wish i could control myself..
so tired to continue typing...anyway,feel a lot better now...phew~most of the time,i need an answer for all those queries that have been raised by my own mind..so for this period of time,my answer would be...it's my fault...im not mature enough to face all this,i should have try to do better...if for the questions for friends and society,why will ppl act this and that way...i have to understand nobody is perfect,and none of us in this world can just be great together without getting through some process,and they have their own thinking which can be the opposite way of urs...all u have to do is listen and observe...at the end,u might find out that they are the one who is doing the right thing,or u may get to learn things from there.....
kk...enough dy,it's really time to go to bed...ciao~
