You belong with me!

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?
You belong with me

BAD

drank some coffee at R2, n it worked on shuang ytd night! only get to fal asleep around 2 after some time struggling on bed..
woke up at 4 cuz cant bare to continue to sleep due to that stupid nightmares... sobs~
roommate isnt here, n that's a dream which continues the previous one few days ago..can't really recall when is it..but it just make things so REAL!
very damn scary..
keep having dreams that continue each n every part most of the time..what does that means?
sigh~ can go for nobody anymore as i hv nightmares...sad~
think the very last time i had one bad nightmares was in the past few months~in feb i guess~
since then im doing just fine....tonight just AIN'T a good night...
but i shall feel happy though~cause i did had nightmares very frequent previously, it's almost like once in a week interval~now that i only get one after so many months, means it should be of something normal to happen? hmm~~
having few important lectures tmr..n im basically still very sleepy..sigh~~
is this kinda like a symptoms for stress?
gosh~if that's so, it's going to torture me until end of Jan....
until then, i might already bcum a panda..!

dunno what to do to calm myself down n get bac to sleep...
the images just flash in as i close my eyes..
that's it tat i can tel...
sadly....
everyone's sleeping soundly...
guess wil get bac to sleep soon too~

The "kEy"

now that i know who's holding the key...n that it wont work,
have my fingers cross, so that i wont repeat the same mistakes i did previously to others..
have them cross again..hopefully i wont lead myself to situation wher i cant get to choose n make wrong decision again..
have them cross again...for not letting me to b forced to decide lk how it was again..
an answer should be enough i guess =) though it make drives me crazy at times..hahax~

about two weeks left b4 exam...kinda scary~
mum dont let me to go for intern though i felt lk having them badly, sigh..
but, if that's how she wants, im fine with that....
got her msg telling me so, i was like..hmm,ok,nvm then...
still, dunno what to do or wher to go after Jan~which ther will be a three months holiday for internships..
but im sure the idea will come as the time has come...i will know what to do by then..
LOL..first time i never fight and strive for what i wan n wat i think is right..
darn....bad news is, i don feel like having the energy to get what i wan anymore, just let things be...most of them r not under my control..
good news, very peaceful me nowadays, n obedient too!
basically is that good??no idea...

Crazier~

I've never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go
Till you open the door
There's so much more
I've never seen it before

I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
Then you came along
And you changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier~

Watched from a distance as you
Made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know
How that would feel
And you made it so real

You showed me something that I couldn't see
Opened my eyes and you made me believe

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier

Baby, you showed me what living is for
I don't want to hide anymore

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier, crazier


=)

母爱

went bac hometown, meet mum, talked a lot with her..n it wasnt enough!!
wish that i can alwez be by her side..
hope she could be independent n be happy all the time~
she admitted it could be lonely at times...sigh~guess it's just like me, but, what can i do???
motherly love, affection and cares will never ends.. went bac, n for every little things that she did, showed she cares n love me very much..im such a bad daughter!!
felt tat deeply recently..no doubt im touched!!
ma mum, apparently is weak, was well pampered, was very damn lucky..but things changed, n she need to stand up n be very independent
ther would b nobody else to lean or rely on, n we as her children can never do a good job in mending her heart....only one that could help up was herself..tats y im strict, fierce sometim, n alwez did taught her same false theories to make sure she knows how to make herself happy..
hope she wil b doin well all the time, n be tough~just like what im trying to do..
anyhow...she definitely knows to shop A LOT ok??LOL~kinda feel lk mother lk daughter..*so cant blame me if u seeing me buying things don worth the price* ma mum is definitely a much more big spender~im nothin compared to her..kekeke!

may she alwez live well n be happy n healthy...
LOVE her!!n not to forget...love my family members too~ =)

of course, i went bac except to make sure she's doin fine, i was ther to let grandma know im doing fine, n to be at penang to remind me of who i am plus to attend cousin's wedding..
wedding went wel~n my little handsome jia wei grown up lu~3 yrs old now..n he likes me~hahahax....he's cute n smart!!he owns a family which i desire, hope i wil one like that too in my future =)
apart from being happy, heart aches a little seeing wei alone...havin a bro to paz away that young, must b very tough~ its obvious his father is tryin to do what he can to make him feel better...anyhow, i guess nobody would like to mention, but he alwez stays in our heart..

din attend any lec today..was damn tired!
bac in hectic life...gotta finish my reports as soon as possible lur!
aZa aZA!!

~Fear~

12th Dec..

U know what??it took me 12 hours to bac from kl to penang..

Darn,wat happen to me huh?thats a mistake tat shuang wil never do..

After class at 4,took taxi over to titiwangsa then head to plaza~things start when the conductor asked me to get in to lumut’s bus..

Ever heard of tis place?wel, at least I din..

Anyhow,I got in..read my book..finally done wit the whole book~got tired n fal asleep..

By the time I woke up,its 716pm..start to look around n my instinct told me something went wrong..so I asked around wher exactly is the place known as lumut…The bus starts to head in kampong area…a lot of places that none of them are familiar to me, tats when my heart’s getting worried~after some while, stil not havin anyone reply my msg...bus driver display horror movie on the bus!crap…it was getting darker, ppl around look unfamiliar, places unfamiliar, the movie keep on making sounds of ppl screamin..sigh~!

Tortured 3 hours, n final outcome, I arrived lumut~n that’s the final destination of the bus…T.T

Went for the driver, he yelled at me for GOD knows wat, n ppl around lookin at me~he refuse to help me up, n the next thing he did, was just drive away…. =( leaving me alone…so obviously, im LOST n stuck in an unknown place,wit my lappie, n some cash..though I’ve alwez thought myself wont b in dangerous situation n that ppl r alwez nice, that night, I din feel so anymore…I was worried over the ppl ther, cuz I know they knew im not familiar wit the place n that they’re lookin at me for wat I wil do next…

One, if I were a person havin bad tempered, I would probably yelled bac at the driver n force him to fetch me bac..second, if I were weak at tat tim, I would probably break down n cry..however, apparently it may be my fault, I fal asleep..thats y~~so, did none of that, called mum, split out my condition n told her when I know wat to do wil then get bac to her.. I was lucky that I found a place sellin tickets n the next bus to ipoh was 1030~since it’s a wel known place compared to lumut, I rather got lost ther…so I bought the ticket..

Got into the bus, n eventually, i broke down…..aiks aiks! I cried, not bcuz im sad,etc…im screwed up! For the very first tim Im scared!!! I start to b afraid that mayb someday I wont b able to tk care of myself anymore..lotz of bad things happen lately, I even fal from the stairs!why ar??hmm, for the very first tim, my fear wins over shuang..it felt lk shuang aint tat tough anymore..n that scares me~im afraid that I might not b able to bare n tk care n tk control of the problems I wil be facing…n do trust me~somehow, my path is alwez rougher than others >.<

Long long night………..worst, I sure did make my mum n sis worried..felt so sorry…this is kinda lk the thing I would never do!!stil do,felt GOD is punishing me badly lately…

Stil,good to be home….a new home..at least to know mum is doing well here…tmr wil b better!

another jerk...

*****

got a disk from dr wong on tues~never did expect he would do so..
he did mentioned lil bit about the content b4, guess he just wanted to share them wit me..
no doubt he treated me well, dunno the reason though..
feel so bad tat i din do wel in his paper >.<
when i thought bac, he actually helped me up a lot laz sem..aiks~~

suppose to hang out today..
'body says let's go, but my heart says NO'
why???
no idea...

presentations all CLEARED!!!

yea, im off!no more presentations for this sem anymore~~
can i cheers for that for a lil moment...?
okok..
here it goes...
1.....
2............
3..................

YAAY!YAY!yaY!
phew~
wonder why do we as CB need to present that much, despite loads of reports, assignments, quizzes and tests..

wel,the cheers for now might represents something even bigger follows on...
u know wat i mean~n i know we're all abiding it..hahax!

juz went thru severe depression states for the whole weekends...
totally depressed!
guess i would be the only one who hates weekends huh?
the things that i did the most was sleep...n, how depress i was? i had most of my meals as tidbits n snacks~ sometim even skip main meals by sleeping.....sigh~
so damn down..felt like im in a cage..i wanna get out!!
and, suddenly have a thought today to travel to genting alone...enjoy the weather, have a little place for me to clear my mind and come bac again to face everything here...
im not trying to run away from problems..aint not being able to cope with stress either~
i juz, dont like tis kind of life style, it feels so damn bored!!
u know what shuang like the most??
it's to have a transport carrying me to places i dunno at all..
i've first experienced it during my high school yrs..to travel from places to places by buses, and i've been like that when im in kl too..from here, to sg besi, pandan indah, sunway, one U, the one that i wont forget the most is to TTDI~
wel, it might seems to be nothing for some of u out ther~but i guess ther could b very lil ppl lk me who's willing and who hv the effort to travel by public transport in Msia~since, they're quite sucks here..
hmm,that's probably why ppl tend to say im a very independent girl as while ppl of the same age stil being well protected, im out ther travelling here and there..they tend to worry bout my safety as well~some guys even like to say, they felt like wanna protect me seeing me tis way~zzz~~hahax,ok la,high school yrs, thats what they would say to get ur heart..
anyways, things that they wont know is, i actually enjoyed it..n im fine with that~
after all these yrs only i get to realize im a girl who strives for freedom...freedom inside my heart..aiks!

AND,
after so many days of suffering from not to shop, being extremely broke, i wil get my loan tmr lu!!woohoo~~
then i can start shopping~~!
and, if everythin's based on what i've planned, i can shop, play, vocations, yet stil survive, with my own finances AGAIN...geezz...tel me im brilliant~ >.< hahahax...
but i know, mum and sis wil alwez be ther when i need anything~~they love me much =)
just that, most of the tim mum would act more like a kids than i do...
im definitely going bac hometown tis week!
cant wait!!!~
and and and,
next movie that i wanna watch, LOVE HAPPENS~

never went for genetics class lately..din grab whole of the basics of that crossing over thingy yet..
how to go for tmr's quiz??hmm...


~END~

not my day...

din get to finish up presentation for the journal..
she asked some basic ques n that tk too much time to ans them~
though i did spent quite some effort n lots of time of the journal...=(
maybe i should thought..what if.....could it be more meaningful n more effective??
neh,should not think that way...
anyhow, good to hv a feelin of teamwork this time =) though we might not be fast, but everyone do contribute!!n its alwez nice to work together...

hmm,stil do know how to do tang's test~
tats the only thing that comfort me for the day..

n do hate college's microscope...!
no klcc for the day >.<
n tears start to fall when it hurts...

reached home, bought some snacks, ate the snacks,watched my favorite drama n straight away went to bed,so tat i wont spend tim thinkin tat much~~~
hope it wont swells...

things that u dare not do...

today's first of dec already!!time flies~~but i LOVE this month a lot..!xMaS is COMING!!
and,
i can shop n hv fun for the month n everything will be on sales~!
too bad, im seriously, extremely, terribly bRoKE for the moment...!sigh~
but stil, goin to watch movie tmr~shop next week n bac to pg hv fun wit friends over ther too...!
liek's going to US soon,so going to meet him up~
y everyone's going to US???LOL~
then, goin to fly bac to attend 10am class on mon morning..
might continuously bac for the following weeks~~~how bout tat?muahaha~
im late for class today!30 minutes late...
tats a bit over though, my limit was 15 min previously..n now it's lk half of the class d..grr~
but lec was nice~cuz marks are counted in coursework for today's attendance, not that she din ask for the reason for those who came late, she reminds us must sign for it to get the marks!
n, when i hand in the pop quiz, she asked if i und, n when i say im late n i din know what she taught, she din got mad but immediately show me everthin~she's real nice!!but, y there're so many negative impression bout her from seniors?
wel, at least for what i know she's passionate!
not lk those others, who will got stressed up by juz by markin the reports, who talked lk only few students in front are able to hear her, to be too demanded,etc~
the typical she that i mentioned said she might need to reconsider to pursue her dream as a lecturer in the future after completing her masters...i wish i could tel her, its a yes,she definitely need to reconsider it...at least, i think she's aint ready..not YET!we students are lk tat~unwilling to response, etc..im kinda fed up with the spoon feed attitude too, but what can we really do about that?there're actually tons of ppl who're not willing to change their behavior even though they know its not right..somehow,they don even know how to get things right...we cant change the whole world..but, we can patiently, slowly, guide ppl through..n to me, that's wat lec do..cuz i've seen a lot who did very well in performin tis task..n i salute them!really do...
sorry if i offended anyone~

quite moody nowadays though..
having sleepless night for this few days..kept thinking the same stupid things which are not suppose to pass thru my mind~everything was still so fresh though it actually happened for lk 2 3 yrs ago?
hmm,guess only 2 person will und wat am i talking..first reaction i got from a guy..u're SILLY!
okay,i am..no idea on how to control what i am feeling n thinkin though..
second reaction from a gal..hmm,its ok, it takes time...im like, aiks~~i've took bout one yr already..how long will it takes somemore?i cant wait!!don wan it to bother me that much~~
E.N.D.~

cont with...
things that u dare not do in ur life~
guys,frankly speaking, how many things in ur life that u don dare to gv a damn to try?
to me,ther're aplenty....*ok,i aint coward though*
hmm..for eg. don dare to speak what's in my mind sometim,knowing that my words might be harsh~
afraid to try out alcoholic drinks, smoke, etc..knowing that i might bcum someone else after i tried them..
don dare to try up something real hard, afraid that i might fall in the end..
not letting myself to try up my own dream as well, afraid that someday i might regret for what i had decided..
even in love life too~!
okay,am i a big loser here??
DON WAN me to act that way...

n ern..yea, i said, i thought, perhaps someday, maybe i wil meet u again~
fine, someone heard that n it comes true now...i met him everyday, but only to realize i aint ready to face it yet..!
full with guilt..meanwhile, there will be some period of tim when i self doubt whether my decision was really right?
but, knowing that i cant b able to gv my 100%, cant be able to start to trust... it's aint fair for both party...temporary, that's the best that i can do..
i know, i und, n i can see from those eyes...but i CANT!
sigh~~
wel, what the book tells me today?
there're too many counterfeit forms of love and too many ppl who say,"I love you bcuz i need you", or "i love you bcuz i wan you!".
such possesive forms of love are not real
they seek to get something from the other person instead of giving something.
so, learn to laugh~when u laugh, u can love, bcuz then u're loving ppl bcuz they need u and the joy u can bring to their life~~