Honesty

hey followers~

one ques for u guys.. is honesty needed as ther's nothing that u could alter?
is honesty needed when it could lead miserable life to others?

when someone had done something wrong, which to him/her it may not seems that wrong, they will choose to move forward.. and, to do so, they may seek for forgiveness from those they feel sorry for~
but, was the word of 'sorry' could mend or change anything?
it would just seems to be the hardest word to say... yet, a word that carries no meaning..

at the end of the day, i chose to lie..
no matter how hard u try to explain ur own situation, the person who und the most would only be urself..
to hate someone aint something easy..
and when ppl trying to seek for freedom, i wil then let them be~
i know im not wrong.. just got a bit disgusted..

not expecting u guys to know what i mean too =)

very soon CNY mood has almost comes to an end d yea.. not very delighted trip back to pg though..
back to kl today n since then, there would be one less reason that relates me with my hometown.. going to permanently stay in kl very soon~ *guess so*
big thanks to those who wish me in the CNY.. even diff races did so too.. Gong Xi Fat Choi is what they lk to say..keke!

reached pg on the day when everyone suppose to have a reunion dinner with their family..
obviously, without my own awareness, i tried to hide from going back in some ways..
anyhow, received a biggest compliment in my life that day~
mostly when ppl praise me, i would have just accept them, thinking, ppl just trying to make me happy or to flirt around..
but that day, i just felt he speak truthfully n that enlightens my day~
having me to promise him that i wil keep this type of smile '=)' until my last breathe..
he said he's saint with a big gold ring on top of his head.. hahax~ so that's someone sent by God to reminds me those thing ha~

as i ad came back to kl, will have one day rest for the day, n everything's going to start tmr..
will gonna have to attend two interviews.. settle the prob of connections..
n soon, will need to make some wise decisions on how to spend my 3 months intern then.. hopefully it will be very well arranged..

wish me luck!!

A day to remember..

19th Feb

Hang out with bunch of frenz which I normally wont meet up often today.. went QB, KEK LOK SI and autocity.. most importantly, finally met miao ling~ the one from japan, well known to be famous bcuz she’s cute! LOL~ tats wat she used to tel us..its been years since I last met her.. but she stil speak n act lk her b4, slightly diff in some way, but stil her~

Talkin to her reminds me of the things happened in the past.. how we were in the bus, how we talk, we went Belgium, play together,etc.. n as u guys know im introvet in some way.. if she didn’t tk the initiative to talk to me that day, we may not know each other n hv today’s gathering lurr… I gotta say, it’s of my luck to hv her in my life, as a fren, which still could remember me after all this while.. =) not forgetting, it’s really of luck to have a lot a lot of great fren I ever hv~very very happy today after meeting them..

After being mumbled by mum for few days, finally hv the chance to hv some rest n really hv a smile on my face… im not saying she’s bad, she don’t love me or sayang me.. with no reason, she bought me a necklace, platinum.. aint comparing her love with $ or the present she gave me.. tats my mum.. the one who dunno how to show her love.. the one who unwilling to spend extra expenses on food or anything else in her life would buy something expensive for me without reason.. I know she just wan me to be happy ba… but the thing is, she may be very happy today, the next day she may b very emo.. of course the main cause of her emoness don’t come from me as I know.. it was from the person that she cares the most..to me, it’s definitely not fair to judge everyone just based on the one u cared the most.. I mean NOT FAIR!! But, what am I to change the fact that she was overly concerned bout him that she forgotten other’s feelings.. n sometime we would do so too.. not to say she’s a woman in the late adulthood already.. n it may be inherited that we alwez used to be very damn emo, I really don’t wanna be someone who mumble a lot when I get older… aiks! But ther’s something she speak out that I feel it’s very VERY familiar.. as we shop, she told us, expensive nvm, as long as quality’s good n we’re comfortable.. OMG.. so damn inherited..

Anyways, sorry for those that I din get to meet during this holiday.. especially for the band’s gathering.. ishh~ joline.. even called to me fetch me up..never really contact her much since….. the day she grad?? Means.. 3 yrs.. so in guilt.. but, I really duno how to direct ppl to my new house……>.<>

Long time didn’t update u guys bout my work d rite? After working for rexona.. woohoo~!! got some very easy earned money.. of course it past d that’s y I said it’s easy la.. from 10 to 10, GK to PJ by public transport aint something easy.. but I enjoyed it actually.. get to know some new friends over there.. n I tell u what, met the owner of Carrefour of Tropicana Mall as I work.. he was very nice, n charming~

That day I was resting in the rest room when I was having one hour break.. too tired that I got into sleep.. suppose to wake up 15 min b4 work but he came in.. the boss ( a foreigner) n said.. ‘hi,ni hao ma?’ then my bleary eyes got to extremely awake state in just few blink! Yet, not having my vocal to speak.. then with a smile, he walk away.. after my break n I got bac to work, saw him again then he goes,’stil ok girl?still sleepy?’ I got damn shock n explain im fine, etc etc.. he said,’it’s ok,no worries!~’ talk talk talk then he walked away, n again, with a smile…. Fuiyo.. charming!! Not his outlook that I mean, it’s his inner beauty man!

After that I worked in Midvalley Carrefour.. I gotta say, totally the opposite once~ the owner is a foreigner again.. but he was very wel disciplined n hardworking n strict! He comes every day to work.. Im not sure what time he came in but he goes back later than every staff.. n he don’t smile much often.. when he goes round, u cant talk, cant do anything else except for the job u suppose to do.. but im telling u, the sales were fascinating!! Rexona alone, is 10X more than sales in Tropicana mall.. n as u all know too, Carrefour in Midvalley was just a small part, n located in a not very strategic place.. wa~~~ rite? Hahax.. moreover it face strong competitor, Jusco, situated just bside Carrefour~ I really gotta say Midvalley’s very happening.. now only I finally get to know why most promotion especially the perfume would mostly held ther..

Lil tips that I can tell from the two very diff boss that I seen.. as u dare taking the risk, u need to work harder, but u wil gain a lot more than u would hv expected.. but if u’re a happy go lucky person, u may not reach that high position but u’re relax n enjoying every moment in ur life.. which would u be then?? Hmm?

Oh, n, for those who wanted to work for deodorant in the future perhaps… ur target should be more on Malays man! N most importantly those from Arab!~ they would buy ten in a row.. they should be the one who use them every day.. they lk perfume very much too!

N ern… Unilever’s very impressive!! They hv over 500 products on hand… if those who interested in getting involve in the processing of any chemicals, could aim for this company.. brilliant future~~ one that I may be considering too… talking bout the promotion technique, they really hv their way.. consumers were being fooled by wordings n promotions ahead that they would really forgotten which is a more rational decision.. LOL~ two thumbs for the marketing director..

B4 I went bac pg, went for another job interview but end up it was something related to direct sales.. ever heard of Herbalife?? If no google then u wil know.. one international company which hv a rapid growth in the market, n aiming higher for the next few yrs.. the talk was done a guy from hong kong (a high school dropout).. his presentation of the scientific explanation based on his standard, I would rate him a A++~(by comparing those done by Tarcians including me la).. what a shame to say that~aih… anyway, went for the job interview make me realize something.. oh no, it’s not that I wanna get involved in something like this, earn big money in the shortest time, bla bla bla~~~it’s that, everything is about business!!! A two noble prize winner..worked under them.. knowledge stil, under business!! Whatever u know, at the end of the day, its about the business again.. u hv to sell ur ideas, u gotta sell ur products.. hv to convince ppl, persuade ppl that what u hv is something great.. n I gotta tel u, business world in msia.. is something messy, cruel n competitive.. mayb I don’t hv much knowledge on that so I got no right to judge.. but don’t u think u r ‘somebody’ just bcuz u’ve occupied urseld with lots of knowledge.. soon u will realize the more u know, the more u hv to hide them… *just personal opinion here*

Anyways, to spend time by working in malls is never a very good idea.. they would train u to bcome less competent, very lazy, learnt the easy way out.. if it’s not bcuz of the pay they gave, I would really rather stay at home~~

Haha… I gotta stop d right?

finally, I juz wanna tel that I rejected all the jobs I got for the coming weeks n now that I left is Malaysia International Furniture Fair (MIFF) of 2010.. wanted to join the event cause the customers would all be foreigners.. but soon I got really regret cause it’s in March, n I really thought I mess up in the whole interview session.. hope I didn’t get the job cause I know I deserves a better pay as working for some event lk this.. but, nvm d I guess.. ad promised, that’s what I wil do.. they decided to hire me, ther must be a reason.. n I wil juz do it then, as I alwez did!~

Ciao~~

what a day....

today's the day for training of my new job..then tmr gotta start to WORK lur..
woke up at 11am~cuz was bit addicted to the drama.. 下一站，幸福.. only time that im free to watch will b at night..so ended up alwez watch til very damn late..

met with sue around 3~after 45min ride by lrt to kelana jaya..
did something very sillly yet rush in one utama~ hahax~ but going to zip my mouth on the silly part..

then, was late 45min for the training... worst, the lift was not working n i hv to walk by stairs to 6th floor~ almost gave up when i reached 3rd floor then walk down, almost cried out... cause the whole building looks unoccupied.. not much ppl actually will pas thru ther too... many lots were actually emptied.. aih~ but told myself i had ad promised ppl that im going to do it..must keep my promise.. hmm, that's alwez the worst part that i hv to go thru each time when i got a job offer! i dont lk to go to unknown places n worrying bout my own safety!! i wish i were a man~
=( reminded me that i went to one residential area last time by taxi.. never ever been ther.. never really know wher i was.. God knows where i got the courage n got into a stranger's house at TTDI, with lots of dogs surround me once i step in... if i get to choose, i would never wanna been born in Malaysia...! at least i wouldnt need to worry that much i guess~

aiks!~ n now only i know im suppose to sell deodorant~ i really cant find anything to convince myself using one.. hv no idea how to convince others.. will see how tmr goes~

of course with my own self awareness bout this 'deodorant' i did raise some ques to that trainer also.. he couldnt really ans my ques leh.. all those dangerous chemicals, the myth that it will bring breast cancer, etc.. apala~~

but the fun part is im goin to wear one bathrobe to work~ n going to b cameraman for those who wanna tk part in the competition!~

since im the only girl working in some place that's very damn near to unilever's office, extra stress were put on me... what was told was that the officers like to hv lunch in the mall im working.. spys' everywher.. so i basically hv to be a ROBOT.. for 12 hours!

still, can't wait~~! wanna talk to the pharmacist there! hahahax.. though im not really allowed to talk to anyone.. as if i really care bout the rules n regulation =P

ta~~

'sunny' days...

very damn HOT lately.. always felt like going out but got so demotivated later...

suppose need to go over that yamaha shop ask bout the course today.. but the stairs up look a bit creepy.. so, forget bout it.. gotta go way far to midvalley then..
suppose to go over college.. return bac the book that i've been borrowed for years.. but due to the fact that it's super hot, i got into the taxi n said~LRT~~~ argh!
then the next thing i know is, im at KLCC..
peep on somethin i wanna know in the aquaria... then okay, walk up, walk walk walk...
i then reached pavilion...
walk some more....... to sg wang... lastly, times square....

the only thing that i managed to get done was to pay the bills..
only one, for internet.. still hv plenty on hand.. water n rental..aiks!
delay delay some more la............ im gonna name myself lazy pig dy!

suppose to find a job today too...ended up bac with packs of clothes in both of my hands when i reach home..yet, UNEMPLOYED @.@

well done is better than well said shuang........!
sigh sigh!!~
Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today-Benjamin franklin
=.=" can i juz treat lk i never seen that b4?

some more ad hv two big packs of clothes going for charity d.. still wanna input more clothes... im totally wanna kill the 'id' in me!!

the following post is for a friend of mine...
well, it's been a while dy, seeing him almost i can say 'suffer' n struggling with his jobs.. i und at this age, most guys need to work real hard to promise a better future for their ownselves n family..
hmm.. think im a bit over to ask him quit n gv up current job... i mean, i dont hv the right to judge~

flip through Ivanka's book today..
on the very first page, ther's a quote from oprah,
What I know is, is that if you do work that you love, and the work fulfills you, the rest will come~
that reminds me of the conversation that we had..

im not trying to say, see, she supported my ideas.. it's just, to feel stress 24/7, complained here n ther every single day on the works, didnt get to sleep well, etc... that's a big wau~ for me.. of course what i admire is the determination.. but what i worry is the person..
i dunno.. but i still think it may be good to work hard n b very determined on something..but never ever overworked urself, nor to put urself in condition that u're totally not comfortable with..! always keep this in mind, LIFE'S A LONG RUN!!

stil stil stil, i don't have the right to judge.. oX
keep my mouth shut..!
anyways.. just wish him be happier in the coming days!
may God bless everyone~~~ =)

plan plan plan!!!

toughest semester had ad past for lk 4 days..it's the sem wher u can see shuang's really very hardworking, work wit my ass off ok? never hv my spec put on me for that long period of time in a single day.. have no idea why i did that honestly.. cause first sem's result ad kinda told me ther's not much hope.. but, i wouldnt say it's very torturing or whatsoever.. cuz i did slept for 6 hours per day, nap in the afternoon n watched a lot of dramas as u guys know~ =)

frankly, im disappointed at some point today.. it's not that it had never really happened b4.. but, sometim i would wonder what shuang really means to others o??typically just someone u meet in college n forget about after college?? u can say i think too much... perhaps i really do.. but i really just wanna try my best to treasure everyone in my life.. mayb due to the fact im libra i guess.. will hv that bizarre kind of thinking, wher how i feel for someone, i wish they would feel the same way that i do....

or it may even be possible that bcuz i've meet with ppl that as they found their dreams n their path, they would totally forget about u.. regardless of how best frenz u guys were.. they just care about their own benefits n busy with their own life.. but that certainly wouldnt be fair for those who treated me with their heart.. cuz i finally get to meet those ppl in my college year.. trying my best to open up myself right now..for them.. letting go of the past, pursuing to be better me in the future..

but i myself do know too... that's the process of growing up.. as u aged, better hv less expectations for things n ppl around.. just try ur best in everything.. God will see it, n ppl with their lovely soul n heart would know that too... =)

anyways.. been resting a lot for these few days n today finally hang out n hv some fun wit frenz...they can sing very damn well~hahax!
but, surprisingly, i've forgotten how it feels to spend money.. if it was me for the past few months at tis period of time i would probably ended up very damn broke.. plus, i've been 'not in the mood' to really hang out much too...

just wanna get things started asap.. cause i got many aims on hand.. it's a bit stressful to me..
sent out two mails today for application of jobs n both of them replied.. it was actually quite organized in the first place wher i work for one in midvalley during the weekends n another in times square for weekdays.. rounded up everything, by working from 5th to 21st, n im allowed to get off day for 3 days of the CNY, i could get around 2k.. who knows, the guy suddenly called n said oh no, u juz need to work for 2 days... what the heck.. ad so nicely planned.. aiks! it became less than 1k =(

should i stil continue to b freelancer or find one more stable jobs with more stable income ha??

n how bout my final year project?

my swimming lessons?

my french?

n my violin??

arghhh......


choices are everywhere, n im set to go..!
never really worry i can't handle it..
see, some ppl would find it distracting or kinda worry to go outside the world, face the reality..but it's a bit fun for me... im actually quite familiar with how things go around..
n i always looking forward the days when i finally grad get out, n start to make some colours for my life..

but, i would say, it may be too familiar that i know every pros n cons of everything n start to think too much! n i certainly will expect a lot from myself too...
u guys would probably stay in the other end saying this girl, overly confident man!
aiks~ of course im not~ that would just me tryin to persuade myself that it's going to be easy..
every jobs actually hv their own difficulties.. still could recall how i cried when i got bac home cuz couldnt perform wel as i work for dior last time... they just continuously criticize u , judge u,etc etc.... well, i hv to say, they were my motivation to get fat actually~ i don wanna look lk a skinny little gal who is weak to them.. they certainly did make me feel lk im nobody who could do nothin at tat time..
so, hopefully, im not that girl anymore...

sigh~bit worry i can't really get things done as i wanted them to be..

hm......

speechless with my 'so many concerns' n thoughts, just lk how my family members always complain bout how i am~~~

JH back pg lur...so now basically the house's empty, just me alone..
bit scary at times..specially when night has come...
somehow at some point, i wish the night could be shorter~or mayb human don hv to go to bed...

trainings for the job will get started soon...n im so darn free for weekdays..
mayb i should not stress myself too much n tk it slow ba.. i could probably read some journals by then.. n work harder for next few months~ all i need is luck n chances!~

just can say..

good luck to myself ba!~~~

sorry if i bla too much today............
kept myself drown in loads of papers n notes for 3 months, not having some outings...
now that i need to go out n talk to strangers, having strangers calling me now n then asking my conformation bout my schedule, mails with unknown sender wher u dunno which job they refering to..sighness~~it could really goes a bit crazy~