when everyone's soundly asleep.....

It's bout 11pm here in Munich, 10·C, probably 6 in the morning back in msia..
I've got no one to talk to....not much place to hang out...tv's too bored having most channels tat speak in language i don und..ppl's too judgemental..so,kinda decided to stay in,hv my in room dining,avoid the crowd,the weather,the ppl...

Read back the blog,with the song played, kinda felt it's like a joke..Wat kind of big joke could happen in ur life??when u wanna go home... but frankly i doubt i hv one...hv no one to say,i miss u,n the needs of me being at anyone's side..
YET,
wat kind of joke could it b if...u hv always wanted sth,but nobody seems to b giving anything..n tat u drift urself away,away from the reality..n tat after yrs later,u suddenly came to realize a lot of ppl is giving n u're running away to accept,bcuz the fear of accepting wat might comes after tat..due to the fact,the dissappointment u hv bfore..

It's funny everytim u thought about sth,n tat goes lk how perfect,how sweet if tat could juz came true in ur life..but when it's happenning n u wil b asking,is tat wat i really wan? Cuz, everything seems to b possible,but probably too much to gv..

This is a song i used to play one yr bac...n i guess most of us felt lk its singing literally how we felt when we all first joined..
But,the 'someone else's life' has kinda be in part of me for bout one n a half yr...from a person who text a lot,hv got lots of contacts,likes meeting ppl,etc...to someone who could leave the phone bac in the house,knowing no one would bother calling anyway,till its odd having ppl asking how u r every day..i kinda,took it all..

At this point,i really wish i could make a pause...to breathe~
Because i know im very contented with wat i've pull out so far..
n i don seems to b able to gv anything else..n seriously,the world has got too much of temptations...the unknown..that i would possibly wanna know....i dont wanna stop just yet~For someone whom im not certain of..for those who r not even hv faith to themselves..
N i can assure u tat im nt being selfish...hv tried yrs to make ppl i care being happy...but truth is,no matter how hard u try,it all depends on how open hearted the person is,to accept wat u r trying..

Its kinda sad to hv this obvious ans in my mind for now....for,im not the girl bac then who go for just anything by guts..
but guess,tats how it is....for now =)
Truth is....ther r too many negative vibes....n im losing my faith..