Avira day 4..

staring at the post sites figuring what i wanna post for the day...... i really got so emo~~so many things that happened,too many ppl to meet, too many new friends to be with, etc..

how to say? n, wher to start???
from day one perhaps?
i got this job.. seriously somehow got 'cheated' in some ways.. short pants, jacket plus singlet it seems... became a tube inside.. which im quite mad about.. seriously, wearing uniform which don look lk promoter at all.. more to lk show gal, n they should seriously pay us more!! plus all other work lk ushering, modeling etc...they all complained~but i dont think it wil work anyways...

i really duno how to describe how i feel la... it's just, working ther, i got a lot of other job opportunities lk those really educated type of ppl say im good in something, they would be very respectful to u, not asking contacts or to flirt around..n when they say u're smart, u seems to know what u're doing very wel, u're intelligent, those type of positive comments...juz enlightens my day...

of course im happy...but how much of ppl really look into ur inside than ur outside???
those stupid malays, ham sap type of ppl alwez look at u..say something which is extremely offensive..............that i juz got so mad..!
so mad that i started to brag n talk a bit too much, asked a bit too much from customers now..
yes, i felt regret for what i hv done today.. n fine, what past had past..promised i wont repeat that anymore! REALLY do~

juz damn shock tat any strangers could recognise me n cal my name..it's lk im in the society for some tim d..u can say i hv lots of connections now,n ppl really do remember my name n face..! it's something good as wel as bad..

haiz..n yes,i alwez say im impressed with how wel manners foreigners r..hope to hv frenz or bf lk them~
but i gues now i know..not from the one i know when im workin for job lk tis i gues~
got so inbalanced after few days working ther that it seems im not myself anymore~
but that's wat i wan..
i still know how to differentiate what is good n bad.. still knows how to pursue to be the SHuang i wanna be.. need not to worry anyways =)

but how i see myself 5 yrs from now, a ques that was being asked, that i answered spontaneously yet with doubts deep in my own heart..to really join some fields that i've got totally no idea with? or to do what im expert in which ad spent few yrs studying?

Sat im going to try something i really yearns for so many yrs ago..n to this point, i really dunno what i wish for.. whether want them to tel me im in? or no, im not quialified....

3 days to go..
wish sun ends as fast as it could...............