You belong with me!

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?
You belong with me

BAD

drank some coffee at R2, n it worked on shuang ytd night! only get to fal asleep around 2 after some time struggling on bed..
woke up at 4 cuz cant bare to continue to sleep due to that stupid nightmares... sobs~
roommate isnt here, n that's a dream which continues the previous one few days ago..can't really recall when is it..but it just make things so REAL!
very damn scary..
keep having dreams that continue each n every part most of the time..what does that means?
sigh~ can go for nobody anymore as i hv nightmares...sad~
think the very last time i had one bad nightmares was in the past few months~in feb i guess~
since then im doing just fine....tonight just AIN'T a good night...
but i shall feel happy though~cause i did had nightmares very frequent previously, it's almost like once in a week interval~now that i only get one after so many months, means it should be of something normal to happen? hmm~~
having few important lectures tmr..n im basically still very sleepy..sigh~~
is this kinda like a symptoms for stress?
gosh~if that's so, it's going to torture me until end of Jan....
until then, i might already bcum a panda..!

dunno what to do to calm myself down n get bac to sleep...
the images just flash in as i close my eyes..
that's it tat i can tel...
sadly....
everyone's sleeping soundly...
guess wil get bac to sleep soon too~

The "kEy"

now that i know who's holding the key...n that it wont work,
have my fingers cross, so that i wont repeat the same mistakes i did previously to others..
have them cross again..hopefully i wont lead myself to situation wher i cant get to choose n make wrong decision again..
have them cross again...for not letting me to b forced to decide lk how it was again..
an answer should be enough i guess =) though it make drives me crazy at times..hahax~

about two weeks left b4 exam...kinda scary~
mum dont let me to go for intern though i felt lk having them badly, sigh..
but, if that's how she wants, im fine with that....
got her msg telling me so, i was like..hmm,ok,nvm then...
still, dunno what to do or wher to go after Jan~which ther will be a three months holiday for internships..
but im sure the idea will come as the time has come...i will know what to do by then..
LOL..first time i never fight and strive for what i wan n wat i think is right..
darn....bad news is, i don feel like having the energy to get what i wan anymore, just let things be...most of them r not under my control..
good news, very peaceful me nowadays, n obedient too!
basically is that good??no idea...

Crazier~

I've never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go
Till you open the door
There's so much more
I've never seen it before

I was trying to fly
But I couldn't find wings
Then you came along
And you changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier~

Watched from a distance as you
Made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know
How that would feel
And you made it so real

You showed me something that I couldn't see
Opened my eyes and you made me believe

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier

Baby, you showed me what living is for
I don't want to hide anymore

You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,
Crazier, crazier
Crazier, crazier


=)

母爱

went bac hometown, meet mum, talked a lot with her..n it wasnt enough!!
wish that i can alwez be by her side..
hope she could be independent n be happy all the time~
she admitted it could be lonely at times...sigh~guess it's just like me, but, what can i do???
motherly love, affection and cares will never ends.. went bac, n for every little things that she did, showed she cares n love me very much..im such a bad daughter!!
felt tat deeply recently..no doubt im touched!!
ma mum, apparently is weak, was well pampered, was very damn lucky..but things changed, n she need to stand up n be very independent
ther would b nobody else to lean or rely on, n we as her children can never do a good job in mending her heart....only one that could help up was herself..tats y im strict, fierce sometim, n alwez did taught her same false theories to make sure she knows how to make herself happy..
hope she wil b doin well all the time, n be tough~just like what im trying to do..
anyhow...she definitely knows to shop A LOT ok??LOL~kinda feel lk mother lk daughter..*so cant blame me if u seeing me buying things don worth the price* ma mum is definitely a much more big spender~im nothin compared to her..kekeke!

may she alwez live well n be happy n healthy...
LOVE her!!n not to forget...love my family members too~ =)

of course, i went bac except to make sure she's doin fine, i was ther to let grandma know im doing fine, n to be at penang to remind me of who i am plus to attend cousin's wedding..
wedding went wel~n my little handsome jia wei grown up lu~3 yrs old now..n he likes me~hahahax....he's cute n smart!!he owns a family which i desire, hope i wil one like that too in my future =)
apart from being happy, heart aches a little seeing wei alone...havin a bro to paz away that young, must b very tough~ its obvious his father is tryin to do what he can to make him feel better...anyhow, i guess nobody would like to mention, but he alwez stays in our heart..

din attend any lec today..was damn tired!
bac in hectic life...gotta finish my reports as soon as possible lur!
aZa aZA!!

~Fear~

12th Dec..

U know what??it took me 12 hours to bac from kl to penang..

Darn,wat happen to me huh?thats a mistake tat shuang wil never do..

After class at 4,took taxi over to titiwangsa then head to plaza~things start when the conductor asked me to get in to lumut’s bus..

Ever heard of tis place?wel, at least I din..

Anyhow,I got in..read my book..finally done wit the whole book~got tired n fal asleep..

By the time I woke up,its 716pm..start to look around n my instinct told me something went wrong..so I asked around wher exactly is the place known as lumut…The bus starts to head in kampong area…a lot of places that none of them are familiar to me, tats when my heart’s getting worried~after some while, stil not havin anyone reply my msg...bus driver display horror movie on the bus!crap…it was getting darker, ppl around look unfamiliar, places unfamiliar, the movie keep on making sounds of ppl screamin..sigh~!

Tortured 3 hours, n final outcome, I arrived lumut~n that’s the final destination of the bus…T.T

Went for the driver, he yelled at me for GOD knows wat, n ppl around lookin at me~he refuse to help me up, n the next thing he did, was just drive away…. =( leaving me alone…so obviously, im LOST n stuck in an unknown place,wit my lappie, n some cash..though I’ve alwez thought myself wont b in dangerous situation n that ppl r alwez nice, that night, I din feel so anymore…I was worried over the ppl ther, cuz I know they knew im not familiar wit the place n that they’re lookin at me for wat I wil do next…

One, if I were a person havin bad tempered, I would probably yelled bac at the driver n force him to fetch me bac..second, if I were weak at tat tim, I would probably break down n cry..however, apparently it may be my fault, I fal asleep..thats y~~so, did none of that, called mum, split out my condition n told her when I know wat to do wil then get bac to her.. I was lucky that I found a place sellin tickets n the next bus to ipoh was 1030~since it’s a wel known place compared to lumut, I rather got lost ther…so I bought the ticket..

Got into the bus, n eventually, i broke down…..aiks aiks! I cried, not bcuz im sad,etc…im screwed up! For the very first tim Im scared!!! I start to b afraid that mayb someday I wont b able to tk care of myself anymore..lotz of bad things happen lately, I even fal from the stairs!why ar??hmm, for the very first tim, my fear wins over shuang..it felt lk shuang aint tat tough anymore..n that scares me~im afraid that I might not b able to bare n tk care n tk control of the problems I wil be facing…n do trust me~somehow, my path is alwez rougher than others >.<

Long long night………..worst, I sure did make my mum n sis worried..felt so sorry…this is kinda lk the thing I would never do!!stil do,felt GOD is punishing me badly lately…

Stil,good to be home….a new home..at least to know mum is doing well here…tmr wil b better!

another jerk...

*****

got a disk from dr wong on tues~never did expect he would do so..
he did mentioned lil bit about the content b4, guess he just wanted to share them wit me..
no doubt he treated me well, dunno the reason though..
feel so bad tat i din do wel in his paper >.<
when i thought bac, he actually helped me up a lot laz sem..aiks~~

suppose to hang out today..
'body says let's go, but my heart says NO'
why???
no idea...

presentations all CLEARED!!!

yea, im off!no more presentations for this sem anymore~~
can i cheers for that for a lil moment...?
okok..
here it goes...
1.....
2............
3..................

YAAY!YAY!yaY!
phew~
wonder why do we as CB need to present that much, despite loads of reports, assignments, quizzes and tests..

wel,the cheers for now might represents something even bigger follows on...
u know wat i mean~n i know we're all abiding it..hahax!

juz went thru severe depression states for the whole weekends...
totally depressed!
guess i would be the only one who hates weekends huh?
the things that i did the most was sleep...n, how depress i was? i had most of my meals as tidbits n snacks~ sometim even skip main meals by sleeping.....sigh~
so damn down..felt like im in a cage..i wanna get out!!
and, suddenly have a thought today to travel to genting alone...enjoy the weather, have a little place for me to clear my mind and come bac again to face everything here...
im not trying to run away from problems..aint not being able to cope with stress either~
i juz, dont like tis kind of life style, it feels so damn bored!!
u know what shuang like the most??
it's to have a transport carrying me to places i dunno at all..
i've first experienced it during my high school yrs..to travel from places to places by buses, and i've been like that when im in kl too..from here, to sg besi, pandan indah, sunway, one U, the one that i wont forget the most is to TTDI~
wel, it might seems to be nothing for some of u out ther~but i guess ther could b very lil ppl lk me who's willing and who hv the effort to travel by public transport in Msia~since, they're quite sucks here..
hmm,that's probably why ppl tend to say im a very independent girl as while ppl of the same age stil being well protected, im out ther travelling here and there..they tend to worry bout my safety as well~some guys even like to say, they felt like wanna protect me seeing me tis way~zzz~~hahax,ok la,high school yrs, thats what they would say to get ur heart..
anyways, things that they wont know is, i actually enjoyed it..n im fine with that~
after all these yrs only i get to realize im a girl who strives for freedom...freedom inside my heart..aiks!

AND,
after so many days of suffering from not to shop, being extremely broke, i wil get my loan tmr lu!!woohoo~~
then i can start shopping~~!
and, if everythin's based on what i've planned, i can shop, play, vocations, yet stil survive, with my own finances AGAIN...geezz...tel me im brilliant~ >.< hahahax...
but i know, mum and sis wil alwez be ther when i need anything~~they love me much =)
just that, most of the tim mum would act more like a kids than i do...
im definitely going bac hometown tis week!
cant wait!!!~
and and and,
next movie that i wanna watch, LOVE HAPPENS~

never went for genetics class lately..din grab whole of the basics of that crossing over thingy yet..
how to go for tmr's quiz??hmm...


~END~

not my day...

din get to finish up presentation for the journal..
she asked some basic ques n that tk too much time to ans them~
though i did spent quite some effort n lots of time of the journal...=(
maybe i should thought..what if.....could it be more meaningful n more effective??
neh,should not think that way...
anyhow, good to hv a feelin of teamwork this time =) though we might not be fast, but everyone do contribute!!n its alwez nice to work together...

hmm,stil do know how to do tang's test~
tats the only thing that comfort me for the day..

n do hate college's microscope...!
no klcc for the day >.<
n tears start to fall when it hurts...

reached home, bought some snacks, ate the snacks,watched my favorite drama n straight away went to bed,so tat i wont spend tim thinkin tat much~~~
hope it wont swells...

things that u dare not do...

today's first of dec already!!time flies~~but i LOVE this month a lot..!xMaS is COMING!!
and,
i can shop n hv fun for the month n everything will be on sales~!
too bad, im seriously, extremely, terribly bRoKE for the moment...!sigh~
but stil, goin to watch movie tmr~shop next week n bac to pg hv fun wit friends over ther too...!
liek's going to US soon,so going to meet him up~
y everyone's going to US???LOL~
then, goin to fly bac to attend 10am class on mon morning..
might continuously bac for the following weeks~~~how bout tat?muahaha~
im late for class today!30 minutes late...
tats a bit over though, my limit was 15 min previously..n now it's lk half of the class d..grr~
but lec was nice~cuz marks are counted in coursework for today's attendance, not that she din ask for the reason for those who came late, she reminds us must sign for it to get the marks!
n, when i hand in the pop quiz, she asked if i und, n when i say im late n i din know what she taught, she din got mad but immediately show me everthin~she's real nice!!but, y there're so many negative impression bout her from seniors?
wel, at least for what i know she's passionate!
not lk those others, who will got stressed up by juz by markin the reports, who talked lk only few students in front are able to hear her, to be too demanded,etc~
the typical she that i mentioned said she might need to reconsider to pursue her dream as a lecturer in the future after completing her masters...i wish i could tel her, its a yes,she definitely need to reconsider it...at least, i think she's aint ready..not YET!we students are lk tat~unwilling to response, etc..im kinda fed up with the spoon feed attitude too, but what can we really do about that?there're actually tons of ppl who're not willing to change their behavior even though they know its not right..somehow,they don even know how to get things right...we cant change the whole world..but, we can patiently, slowly, guide ppl through..n to me, that's wat lec do..cuz i've seen a lot who did very well in performin tis task..n i salute them!really do...
sorry if i offended anyone~

quite moody nowadays though..
having sleepless night for this few days..kept thinking the same stupid things which are not suppose to pass thru my mind~everything was still so fresh though it actually happened for lk 2 3 yrs ago?
hmm,guess only 2 person will und wat am i talking..first reaction i got from a guy..u're SILLY!
okay,i am..no idea on how to control what i am feeling n thinkin though..
second reaction from a gal..hmm,its ok, it takes time...im like, aiks~~i've took bout one yr already..how long will it takes somemore?i cant wait!!don wan it to bother me that much~~
E.N.D.~

cont with...
things that u dare not do in ur life~
guys,frankly speaking, how many things in ur life that u don dare to gv a damn to try?
to me,ther're aplenty....*ok,i aint coward though*
hmm..for eg. don dare to speak what's in my mind sometim,knowing that my words might be harsh~
afraid to try out alcoholic drinks, smoke, etc..knowing that i might bcum someone else after i tried them..
don dare to try up something real hard, afraid that i might fall in the end..
not letting myself to try up my own dream as well, afraid that someday i might regret for what i had decided..
even in love life too~!
okay,am i a big loser here??
DON WAN me to act that way...

n ern..yea, i said, i thought, perhaps someday, maybe i wil meet u again~
fine, someone heard that n it comes true now...i met him everyday, but only to realize i aint ready to face it yet..!
full with guilt..meanwhile, there will be some period of tim when i self doubt whether my decision was really right?
but, knowing that i cant b able to gv my 100%, cant be able to start to trust... it's aint fair for both party...temporary, that's the best that i can do..
i know, i und, n i can see from those eyes...but i CANT!
sigh~~
wel, what the book tells me today?
there're too many counterfeit forms of love and too many ppl who say,"I love you bcuz i need you", or "i love you bcuz i wan you!".
such possesive forms of love are not real
they seek to get something from the other person instead of giving something.
so, learn to laugh~when u laugh, u can love, bcuz then u're loving ppl bcuz they need u and the joy u can bring to their life~~

bOrEd~~

wat a public holiday......
did some spring clean, done one report, watched gossip girls~then, refuse to do anything else..im slow..!!!
yet, too bored!!
finally willing to start off violin lesson on my own~
though don really know how to hv the exact posture,etc,but manage to play twinkle little stars n jingle bell now...muahahah!
anyhow, stil need someone to guide me..
dr wong said ther's no sharp n flat for violin..but y i saw ther is sharp in the score??how how?anyone?

n erm...housemate don let me watch pps.. T.T
the one n only entertainment that i hv...sobs~
so bored..!yet, so slow in doing the things tat i shall do~
thought of preparing for presentation in the intervals when im tired of report cuz it might wont be that heavy..
but i was totally wrong...reading the journals kept my heart beat increase~!
hv to read 3,4 times to catch the meaning....
=(((((((((
wonder how others go through their days n time...


keep it up!!

LOL~~bloggy is back!

feel so lonely here without readers..hahax~kinda stop ppl from viewing wat i wrote for some while..
cuz did realize ther wil alwez b third party or ppl judging wat i wrote~~n its kinda scary though..
anyhow..since im fine now,guess i can afford it =)

went dinner wit sis ytd...
think pic could express better~~

~sui mui~

me~unwilling to look at the camera cuz i know i aint pretty~~

bought violin dy..but never really started the class after i've registered...
alwez cant decide well when wanna get something to be done huh..
but guess i hv my own point too..m2u isnt really the place wher i can learn much i guess...kinda disappoint me wit the guitar lesson dy,y should i go for another one?
anyhow,i wil find my way...

n yea, i started to let the book to tel me some stories again~
hmm..~~and it's entitled "Anyway"

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tmr.
Do good anyway.

The biggest ppl with biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest ppl with smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

Ppl favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for some underdogs anyway.

What u spent yrs building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

Give the world the best u hv and u'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway!

if u hv faith as a mustard seed, u will say to this mountain,'move from here to there',
and it will move;
and nth will be impossible to u!!*though im not really christian*

get it??

nah~its okay... =)

HaiHHH....

d day..............
class end at 12 today..should hv spend some tim to do some reports n prepare for presentation but,went to sing k..n met my sis after tat..n i juz got bac home..
sigh~its been lk few days dy since i last touch anything related to my studies..
went movie,hang up wit sue,helped to do advertisement for fren,etc..
more emo is tat,i've gotta change the status in fb,n as i thought, ppl are going to comment a lot!!!!!
n tmr,there wil be ppl to observe each n every of my action,whether i look sad, whether im emo, whether i look tired,etc....sien~*or perhaps i think too much*
but ever since i change it,ppl start calling,start asking..........
can i just,don wanna talk about it?
im tired d too actually...


tmr is his bday lur...wish him to hv a very good bday~
n hopefully his fren is treatin him wel too =)
my bad...not to be able to be ther for him anymore...

goin to bed soon~not plannin to do any of my reports n assignments yet..

TIRED!

back to the starting point....

after all the opinions from ppl around,n after some while spending some tim to think bout it..here's my decision...to bac to the starting point...

met up sue n she staying in my condo on sat~
feel so comfortable juz being able to talk to her..
n she actually gave me some tips on how to face the 'stress' that is kinda not necessarily to happen in me in my group..
kinda relief though...
true also,i don really hv to care so much,i am who i am..
n wat i need to do is to be myself~
just need to do wat i feel is correct right?
i love last min work...*trying to work on it*
im typical in my work b4 hand it in...*just accept the fact*


going to help a fren from arts skol in completing their assignment..
second time helpin ppl from other skol..
some how,feel their life is a lot happier than CB..LOL~


keep going on...!

Tiring week

Finally, the most stressful week for me until now since the sem begins have comes to an end...
sleepless nights, stressful, blur~all happen in the week..
yet, i din do well in many reports n assignments...
the feeling was actually kinda weird too~
its the very first time shuang gets serious in her studies..normally, i would work most of the time, have fun, hang out for the days and study only was likely to be a minor little things tat i wil do few days before exam..
i hv to say, the lecturers change my thoughts n behavior...plus, my result for last sem kinda motivate me too..lecturers are really great though, they guide me,talk to me n listen to me..love them!
sigh...din hang out for like one month dy...which actually never happen to shuang before...i wanna go sing k, watch movies, meet up wit frenz, chit chat, etc neh...but the thoughts were being suppress....wanna try to hv a semester where i really put in my effort n wait for the outcome..
oh yea, a lot of ppl askin me whether going to work for pc fair next month..think i wont go i guess...sad~cant join them n work together lu,ppl, jia you in hitting the targets given yea!n i will continue work harder on the things i should do..
miss my friends!cant hang out much wit them nowadays...hope u guys doing well

going to sleep very soon~nite nite =)

keep everything on track

when everyone's sleeping soundly in this early morning, i woke up at 2am (slept at 9 last night)
but, convincing myself to have some rest so that i wont overwork myself..
so, study from 4am til now... i wanna get back to sleep! but no i can't..
everything seems like getting started dy.. hectic life is going to come anytime~
almost everyday need to sit for tests and quizzes.. assignments, reports, etc..
but this time round, shuang can never be lazy like last time anymore..
i'm going to study real hard!
at the same time, to have enough sleep as well.. ngek ngek~

tues finally get to have to korean food that had planned for so long..and, continue went to sing k wit Bb's friends..that's without planning though..
get to know how his friends actually are.. what have he been doing all this while~
though his friends were like totally out of the one i might mix with..
i mean, i dont really like those who smoke and drink.. especially in huge amount~
(my friend is going to say i change ad,etc) but i din really mind actually..good to know new friends.. especially good to know his friends =)

argh..left 50 min more to get prepare and sit for the quiz..
still figuring out how to solve the probability..
hopefully im going to score well later!
azA AzA fIghtinG~~

gambate shuang!

gambate Bb!!


smile~~~**wink**

Deepavali with Arshana~~

yaya..few months after the grad ceremony, get to meet Arshana again...
she looks still the same,talk in the same way as b4 too...

before going out

she.telling some updates about her life over Utar..

we, on the other side,listening while eating..

and, of course, the journey from here to sg buluh was not near...it takes some time to reach there since we're taking public transport..and here is the time, i caught ppl to talk about them..
anyway..congrats to clement lur...he got 6 As last sem ok?of course, he paid a lot of hard work there...
worth achieving such results~~congrats!! =)


meaningful day~
gotta start my work on studies lur...
gambate everyone!!

PW my bloggy...

yayyay~~finally get to privatize my bloggy lur..
from now on only few person can read through my blog..
and,temporary, just 2 or 3 very important person in my life able to have the access..kekeke!
so, if u get to log in, means~~~~yes! u r very important to Shuang! =p
maybe will add on more as time goes by..

~happy~

college reopen day 4..

duh....y shuang stil refuse to sleep neh?darn....moody moody~~~~
if...just if..i could know what is going to happen next..
heart feel like wanna scream out loud.....

anyhow,here's schedule for the following days~
steamboat tmr,movie day thurs..followed by kukup trip or malaca....

the rest would be loads of reports and assignments as we all know...

change the layout,mayb could see better this way~
good nite everyone...


shortest n most meaningless post for the day~

came out from the hole

after resting for a week in hometown, reluctantly back to kl in order to attend The Star Fund ceremony...the ceremony went well,get to feel the environment and that when they mentioned bout those students' achievement are simply great~~except for one, those ppl from **** college actually mentioned tarcians as backschool ppl~~ 'dude,u're bit tut man' ok,u own a car,speak fluent english,good family background, so what?? anyhow,don let them spoil tat~stil happy though!! =)

The time has come...........

TIME??for?

pack and rearrange my clothes lur~~

mEsS!!!

LOL~dunno y so much of formal wear in black too..

gai gai clothes..stripes ==' they juz caught my eyes~~

~jeans + pants + skirts~hah!am i done.......? argh~need to squeeze inside the wardrobe...dUH~

haha,stupid duck duck! cute bb~
helped them bathe jor lu...smells nice~

wan some huggies from them??keke!

except for tat...wanna say sorry sorry SORRY to someone............

n that,mr ETS, nice chatting wit u too,work hard for ur singing~~

to chai,good luck for ur match! gambate!!!

din hv my dinner...not going to eat lu,so fat nowadays...sad~~~sobs..

alone here in kl's condo,awaiting tmr's ceremony...bit bit scary actually...gotta hang out more often after tat,avoiding myself think bout those silly stuffs~~

EnD!!

oh yea, bout my eyes...u know wat?doc said its bacterial infection..im having bad skin,that's y easily infected..im lk..r u serious??? totally different with what the previous doc told me..but what i know is,the scar got worsen..hv to tk it seriously in curing dy..can't hv surgery yet,need to keep them in more stable condition....that makes me think again,then,how bout my dream job??gv up?
anyway, except for giving me 3 types of eye drops,he asked me to buy microcycline myself..very familiar for cbs rite??yea,we studied the disease,the symptoms,treatment,but didnt really studied the side effects..
he said there's going to be rashes (hypersensitivity) if im allergic to that antibiotic...
that medicine is not allowed to sell in the hospital (Gleneagles medical center) what does that mean? n, he asked me to try for one week n if im ok,continue for a month..y izit so?i thought we hv to consume enough dosage to kill all the bacteria n avoid developing resistance?
LOL~never thought so fast need to apply back what i've studied on myself ler...
never bought the medicine yet actually...if im allergic to it then what shud i do?
but wil,for sure try it someday within this week la..i wanna get well too!!

T.T

Friday, September 18, 2009

Moving forward on a positive note
Deryck and I have been together for 6 and a half years. We have been friends since I was 17, started dating when I was 19, and married when I was 21. I am grateful for our time together, and I am grateful and blessed for our remaining friendship. I admire Deryck and have a great amount of respect for him. He is the most amazing person I know and I love him with all my heart. Deryck and I are separating and moving forward on a positive note.
Thank you to all my family, friends and fans for all your support.

Avril



=( everyone's devasted....
hope for the best~
hope both of u will be fine...

REst Rest

finally...in the mood to post something here~
done exam lu..! enjoying holiday right now.. am i?? kinda bored frankly,keke!
bac together with sue~met aunty and had dinner in her house b4 back to my sweet sweet home too..time flies..but guess this friendship will never ends..thanks aunty~~ =)

now at ah ma's house lu..enjoying seafood n away from hectic lifestyle...

awaiting sunset all alone~~

nice?

Only one word to describe....

~DISAPPOINTED~

haha, long time never have this kind of feelings dy...
sad because din do well in exam..
shuang finally back, found the excitement and the real purpose to study~
that's why im emo right now..because i do care~~
lost my direction b4, dont feel lk wanna put much effort in studies too, cuz its all juz memorizing...when u found the right method to squeeze everything inside, u're able to score..seen a lot ppl study that way..n that's how i got demotivated..

first paper moral, used one day to study everything.the next morning sitting in the examination room, just felt like wan the 2 hours to paz as soon as possible..my heart ain't there..ended up, i ans not according to what is require..something really funny..when everyone felt the paper is easy, that's where i will score badly..

anyway, this time round is different... really testing ur analyzing skills and understandings..
although i know i din do well, although i know i knew the thing but i did it wrongly...but it just feel so right =) big thanks to tingy, chai rou, mango n mika for bringing me back...
sometimes exam is not about to score how many As, well cannot deny, it is actually.. it's not about helping students to be able to just pass..it's about how much u able to absorb and learn..but of course i know everyone's aims are different, lecturers are trying to be a good person to everyone as well..
but this is what meant by exam to me...probably i used to score badly in jit sin dy..hahax~so kinda find back the feeling...dont be afraid to lose dude, what matters is the process..
i've met ppl who just so used to be the top of the top, they cant accept themselves to fall or fail~i met some as well which are happy go lucky, they don't mind bout everything, but just live their life happily..
both are find for me actually..u never know who is going to be the success one in the end of the day..most important is, U knOw whAt u'rE dOinG~~~

i can feel everyone is struggling and trying their very best too...
To all CBs....never give up yea! don't worry, be happy~

eye stil havent fully recover..got worsen too..

sigh..GoOD LuCK everyone~~~

~smile~

Dry eye....

dry eye is BACK~~~haunt me again.. T.T
perhaps overworked my eyes dy..now, cannot study much, cannot sit in front of my lappie much too ler..sad~
its not due to infection nor conjunctivitis~just...sensitive and dry..not contagious too....since the accident yrs yrs back,leaving sensitive eye and blurry vision..never did raise my concern bout my eye to my family members also.. they would probably say...'don't think so much la, don't play pc games too much or don't overwork it then shall be fine'.. hmm...doc did advise undergo surgery by twisting the membrane or else things.. but it's going to cost some $$ too..didnt get to involve in sports activities for long lu, especially those that have to do with balls~~ cuz im not able to position them.. what i can do?? just take good care of the eyes and don feel sad lu.. =)

staying and rest in the house, nothing much that i can do, nobody in the house with me also, lonely~~~everyone else busy with their own study as well.. sigh..
only my bb n old old de keyboard can accompany me ler..

tried to play canon, the one i learnt during spm..made a lot of mistakes neh, feel lk getting slow in response dy too, hahax!

anyhow, miss the piano in hostel...miss those days play n analyse together with VADs too...

by the way, guitar was left behind, din sayang her for long ler...muahaha~learnt one yr plus dy, skills stil so so..zzz~~

hope my eye can fai fai recover la...need them to continue study for exam...

FINALLY

hmm...finally get to know the fact that HE be with HER is not just rumours...it really does exist...dunno y....having mixed feelings~~curious,excited,happy,sad,hatress,n...relieved~~
anyhow,she is a gal im quite familiar with,stil do, feel happy for them.. for at least i know she will bring happiness for ppl around and no doubt for him...
so, wish all the best for them~ chang chang jiu jiu~~~

previously still keep doubt bout my ownself whether i can let go or not. still feel guilty for not doing good enough.. But, he proofs that life still goes on. we all hv to do so.. just let go~ though, my heart dies there for hopes. anyhow, thanks for setting my heart FreE....

But, never do think all the guys are the same. there will still be nice one, who is meant for me... he found hers, but im not going to make myself have one just for the sick of having one.
They say, when you wan LOVE, just open the door, get the key of ur heart and u'l find them. True for me. that's y, never do wan one for now too. True love need not to be in a rush. Its not that i never tried falling in love or being loved by someone before. And, it's not that i don't have what it takes as well. Had it once is enough lu, for now, wanna focus in what i need to do. For better future, to love my family n my friends~~and enjoy being loved by them as well...need to pamper myself more ler...protect my heart from getting more scars too~

for all my friends out there, im fine..need not to worry =)

for guys out there too, shuang is single but she's practically not available~~keke! if u wanna be my friend, be a true n good one... not for the purpose to tackle a gal or to do some kind of 'investment' on somebody, ok??

that's all for now~~~

Study mode...

when it comes to study, shuang will keep finding excuses and else things to do to avoid stress up myself n others....this time round, no joke..not diploma year anymore..haih~~~sigh~~~~

i like it! im loving it~~

kinda like tis..reminds me of the drama ET~~

BOOM!~~


k,done doing something silly....
time to get back to study~~

Memories

had been wasting my time for the whole day,refuse to do any revision for the test even the day is going to come,very soon...missed my friends a lot..not to say primary skol,secondary, n no doubt VADs...even, the one, the year for whole diploma programme. sigh~time flies...

made a simple movie, hope it reminds you guys of the days we were together~

Having to see everyone change within this two years, from some actions that done immaturely, had some fight together, but, we will still pursue further to learn from each other, and to treasure every moment left. Dunno why, quite afraid another two yrs will past just as fast as it used to be. After that, nobody else is able to guide u like those lecturers do, the world might seem to be a hostile place for those who cant able to fit in the society. Don't be afriad though! our friendship do last~~
shuang here to say sorry for those mistakes that she had done in the past
and,
to say thanks to all my friend~

love you guys
truly~~
muakzz!!

做一个最好的你

如果你不能成为山顶上的高松，
那就当棵山谷里的小树吧！
但，当棵溪边最好的小树。

如果你不能成为一棵大树，
那就当丛小灌木；
如果你不能成为一丛小灌木，
那就当一片小草地。


如果你不能成为一只香樟，
那就当尾小鲈鱼。
但，要当湖里最活泼的小鲈鱼。

我们不能全是船长，
必须有人来当水手。

这里多许事让我们去做，
有大事，有小事，
但最重要的是我们身边的事。

如果你不能成为大道，
那就当一条小路；
如果你不能成为太阳，
就当一颗星星。

决定成败的不是你尺寸的大小，

而在做一个最好的你！

Getting better....

ulcers not yet fully recovered but a lot better compared to last few days dy...at least, im able to eat n drink with less pain right now~hope ppl around me who got sick will get better soon too. Death cases due to H1N1 arising days by days and its getting very serious in our country..hope everyone that i know free from the infection...be aware and be hygienic please!!
went out for movie and sing k laz few days~ GI Joe, a movie which i might wont watch or interested in just by myself, thanks to my frenz~a nice one!! awaiting for the second version of the movie.. =) but, never did watch ghost of the gf past yet..sigh~ guess wont hv time to watch d too..
went for the scholarships ceremony today..yea, im one of the lucky one, which did not really scored well but got full scholars from star fund..simply feel grateful to able to be there for the second time. Anyhow, this as well made my diploma yr worth while, cause did told myself the aim of the programme is to get the scholars to pursue further plus to build a better character of myself. This actually made me realized too, no matter what's ur dream, dont be afraid to grab it. U will get it if u really deserves it. And, even u don't, dont just stop there and gv up. Keep moving forward guys! u will never know what is going to happen in the end. If u dont succeed, keep finding plan B or C or even D..when you do believe, good things will come to you.
by the way, the interview i attended went wel, as expected, i got the job offer... having their letter telling me, hi shuang, u're part of SaSa family right now...hmm, did i just mentioned i wanna fully focus in my studies, the most also commit in pc fair? anyway, they are good ppl, great team member, from they way they speak to me...dont really wanna missed the chance. Out of the 200 applicants, im the chosen one..and out of 40 tat went for the interview, im the chosen one too...sigh..dilemma soon, which i dont wanna think bout it right now...

today finally get to know how bad i score for kinetics dy...the lec actually gave me extra mark...yes, i should feel very happy to know that he cares bout me and he's trying to help me up. but, from another point of view, i really scored that bad that makes him think he need to help up. to get the mark that i dont deserve, din get very delighted as well. feel so sorry too, made him disappointed i guess~
really hv to get started to study dy...if i dont, no need to have a try, cause there wont be enough time anymore~

meeting up with ke xin soon~cant wait~~

extreme pain...

din really study for biochem test on sat n sun....juz started everythin yesterday..definitely, im not able to finish study n b able to memorize them. Studied til midnight yesterday, kinda sleep so decided to go to bed and wake earlier the next day to continue. Sadly, when i woke up, realize ulcers bugging me again~not the usual one, tis tim round is on the gum lining and throat... T.T also leads to lil migraine...cant focus to study, whole nerves around my head juz felt lk getting tighten... hence, no doubt, din do well in exam AGAIN...sigh.. not making any excuse for me to feel better though..

here's little info bout my little 'friend'~~~

Gum ulcer is a form of mouth ulcer. Most mouth ulcers appear on the inside part of the cheeks, though they also are found on gums (gum ulcer), under the tongue, and the inside part of the lips. These are quite small to look at, but extremely painful often making drinking and eating an ordeal. They heal within 7 to 10 days.

There are different types of mouth ulcers. A single mouth ulcer is usually caused by damage to the mouth, like biting the cheek, or damage to the gum with a toothbrush or a sharp tooth or filling. They usually go away once the source of the problem is treated.

A recurrent ulcer is one that comes and goes, sometimes every few weeks. There are three types:

• Minor ulcers are the most common. They can appear inside the cheeks, on the lips, tongue, and gums. Most of these ulcers are round, the size of the top of a pencil and can sometimes come in clusters. You can get four to six at any one time.
• Large ulcers (major type) are more severe, have an irregular border, and can last for five to ten weeks. They may appear near the tonsils and can be very painful, especially when swallowing. You usually only get one at a time.
• It is also possible to have up to 100 very small painful ulcers (herpetiform type), which last for one to two weeks.

There are many things that are believed to cause mouth ulcers - viruses, weak immune system, Crohn's Diseases, acute gastritis, stress, hormonal changes in the body, allergies and so on. Doctors usually recommend that you take an allergy test to find out whether the eruption of mouth ulcers is due to any allergy or any other reason. Vitamin and mineral deficiency also are known to cause this problem and this can be treated by simply making up for the deficiency with the help of health supplements.

Freedom

~sigh~~ very emo tis two days...tues test dy,never really study....
after half yr break, finally thought i get back the freedom and be a happy gal, but apparently im not..having a sincere heart, to treat ppl around me well, to love n treasure them as much as i could, is what im trying to do... making ppl cry is not wat i wanted to, but to stop and create further pain for others, i will have to do so...very very very sorry to u..tats not wat i really wanted to do also.. big thanks to TP n JH, without u guys, i wont know how to face it...
having heard ppl say how i acted and treated others was wrong...yea, im bad.....so
BAD and so WRONG that i really need to change. Dunno how and what i should do next. Kinda frustrate with what's happening.... Should i really change? be a more queit shuang, talk less, protect others but deep down inside tats not the real me?? If u hv read my previous post, there's one time where i decided to be somebody for every of my fren, don wanna b someone that hv no personality and wanna be a better person for them. Worked hard and what i've bcum so far, ppl say "u're heading to the wrong direction"....i dont get it. y others could talk to whoever n whatever that they wan but i cant? n i din intended to do anything wrong also... juz wanna wish everyone around me to be happy. Is that something really wrong with me?
very sad, and afraid~

hope for the best.......

Comfy.....

Finally...out of that whole month of july,i can get to rest on weekends lu~~~feel more lk human being right now, rather than the days which i hv no chance to rest at all..alex said he's at the forest, with lossa trees around,getting lost~i say, im in the sea, where i cant feel the ground, cant see the shore...seriously lost n hv to keep on moving if not im going to drown in any min... start to get back on track to be a student dy. though i know i din score well for the few exams given previously, din seriously did the work and assignments given as well. wong's test yesterday ain't easy. but it was not tough either~all the best to all my frenz yea...we can do it!! just have to keep moving forward. Gastric pain comes bac to me again, every day, every meals. Sometim don really feel lk eating. but if i dont, im goin to suffer more in the next meal....haih~so sorry to my own stomach..haha! din tk good care of u, is my fault...
Anyhow, just feel simply comfortable being able to hanging around in the house at this time~where usually i will hv to be at places, wearing workin T and keep talkin~~woke up at 10 today, finally there's day i can wake later than 8 d,keke! do some spring clean and felt the house look more lk a house right now...~happy~actually, a lot of things happen tis few days, dont really hv enough tim for me to response on it also. Anyhow, shuang is trying hard to mend the mess she hv made previously, done enough mistakes, hurt enough ppl ler...trying not to repeat it again..
hmm... by the way, kinda frustrate with the digi postpaid...140 for a month...can u feel my pain??grr....for tat whole month i've been very busy with a lot of stuf, din hv tim to chit chat much, dunno how can it b tat pricey too... two months bill wil make it be over 300, which in turn means all the pay in pc fair will be used to pay the bill, stupid....wat i can conclude is, sometimes thing that doesnt belongs to u, u just wont get it~no matter how hard u work for it, u might get to touch them but it wont last!its true though...if the thing is really urs, dont need to be rush, it wil eventually comes to u when the tim has come.. =) well, i also aint that negative la...money comes and goes. plus, working for me is more lk a place to me to spend tim and to learn more stuf~ but, definitely i wil need to set some budget and save up to replace back those that wasted for no reason la~~

have to start doing my reports dy...it's going to end soon~middle of sept, im waiting for you!!jia you jia you~~~

星球

满園玫瑰我以為找到我那一朵　

認真愛了卻狠狠刺傷我的雙手　　

責備什麼人也沒有用　

玫瑰都紅　

難免看錯　　　　

望著天空愛是否活在童話裏頭　

小王子說有些事流浪過才會懂　　

原來每顆心都有個洞　

找不到真愛　會一直寂寞　Oh～　　　　　

我但願有一個人在等我　在屬於我的612星球　　

好讓我忍著痛也願意往下走　

不快樂至少要有夢　　　　　

一定會有一個人在等我　無條件擁抱著我的所有　　

相遇前我還要翻越多少山丘　

花別謝太快　請你等等我　　　　　

擦乾眼淚一個人漂流在這宇宙　

小王子說愛一定開在某個角落　　

路上相愛的人那麼多　

我會幸福嗎　在什麼時候　Oh～　

我但願有一個人在等我　在屬於我的612星球　　

好讓我忍著痛也願意往下走　不快樂至少要有夢　　　　　

一定會有一個人在等我　無條件擁抱著我的所有　　

相遇前我還要翻越多少山丘　

花別謝太快　請你等等我　

我但願有一個人在等我　在屬於我的612星球　　

好讓我忍著痛也願意往下走　不快樂至少要有夢　　　　　

一定會有一個人在等我　無條件擁抱著我的所有　　

相遇前我還要翻越多少山丘　

花別謝太快

請你等等我

woohoo! done!

pc fair last day dy...today quite crowded with ppl~ the flow just keep going on. Received a lot of free gifts in this 3 days~traveller adapter, games, notebook, acer lock, etc....n had meals for free for 3 days too. Muahaha~ although not as delicous but at least 有鱼有肉 er... workin in acer just like being part of their big big family..so happy~~~ anyway, today almost everyone hit target..some even way extra from the target. Congrat though, feel happy for them.. little things that i did observed in this fair... kinda feel lk the whole fair is just under one organisation. They might have difff boss, but they are all colabrated. The one for sure is acer, lenovo and those microsoft. today saw one guy from acer working for toshiba. So, guess tats their strategy then...no idea..
talkin bout current issue right now~~since yesterday, taxi going to raise the fare start off with rm3 instead of rm2, 10 cent for 115m instead of 150m and, 10 cent for each 21 seconds instead of 45 seconds previously. bus fare will going to raise their price as well starting from 1 of sept...rapid will not hv tat rm1 for whole day rides dy..it's such a bad bad news for me...fed up~no idea why the prime minister wanna do so..and according to the taxi driver, in order to finish off the procedure to calibrate their meter, they hv to pay extra 60 or 70 some more. grrr....
and that what happened for that ISA thingy, he just did nothing with it..WHAT THE....ar,whatever la....why am i not feeling tired at all??haha...probably everything finally comes to an end and i can do wat i wan lu~~happy happy!!

keke..tat's all for today~have a good night sleep everyone~~

PC fair..second day~

leg're in REAL pain right now..very tired....though just to work as cashier, dunno how did i felt so tired..probably slept too late in the night dy. B4 first day workin slept at 330am while ytd ar 2am...woke up earlier tellin myself to finish up the reports and assignment, but end up i will juz stare at the lappie doing nothing...now u might ask, y did i sleep so late but stil did nothing??ans is...i felt lk i did nothing meaningful for tat whole day..do u know the jobscope of being a cashier is really tat little tat i kinda feel i can complete the one day's job in juz few hrs>?hence, i wanna hv some kind of feeling tat at least i did something apart from wasting my time...
grr...there are some period of the time which i felt lk going out and sell the stuf lk others promoters do. To be able to talk to the customer, to brag and have that kind of sense of achievement. Alex even permit n requested me to go out n sell lappie~But, ever since acer start to set up targets for each days sales, don really felt lk being the salesperson ler. Not bcuz i cant able to reach the target, but simply bcuz i wanna earn but meanwhile cant help myself for not helpin others after i hv reach mine but others don. Anyhow, din really regret la, just hv to be patient. For now at least, i could observe every ppl ther, to hv proper meals in the meeting room and not to talk as much as those promoters do. And of course, to reduce the risk of getting contact with ppl who are infected with H1N1. The pandemic spread of the disease is getting worse each day. But the company actually distribute sanitizing spray for everyone of us, and ther're alco-based gel in the toilet too~just like tangs, they actually tested out body temp b4 we're allowed to go into the working place..tmr last day dy, left bhind all my reports......sounds sad~however, received a very good news today morning. Felt so grateful right now. For each things that i wan, i will get them soon. And, for those that i don wan anymore, they wil eventually fade....

should go to bed soon ler,need to pamper myself more often...hmm,anyway..genting trip was cancelled AGAIN....sadly....sigh~~~~

nite nite.... :)

updates~

happy day~happy shuang wanna post somethin again...
continue telling bout the interview yesterday...u know wat??in the morning when i was waiting for the lift to come i saw rainbow~~~~very nice one! to what i thought it shall be a great day, very good luck for my interview as well...

beautiful isnt it??

However, im soOO late for class due to the laz min preparation of all the documents n bring along sport shoes cuz practical follows on...hence, decided to tk taxi~well, it's nothing special...but u know wat?forget to bring me purse again..n that i only realize it after get into the taxi..ok, fine, not the first time either...recall back how i borrow $$ from a stranger in the bus..hmm, so i hv to go bac to prima n walk out again~since the day i stay in prima,guess it's more than 5 tim i forgotten my purse, excluding the one wher i forgot my hp, y so careless??grr....apart from that, the day was juz as nice as the rainbow,haha! Interview went well too. juz that i alwez thought somehow my interview session tk less time n less ques wil b ask compared to the others. Hope they will gv me a good news la, since it seems fun to work with them.. If i cant get it means it's time for shuang to really rest d la hor?keke....starting from march, pc fair, lulu c, livita, f&n, johnson & johnson, model, tangs, another pc fair...never stop...will i get mad someday?? definately no la..im stil very well...

a lot of things that i had postponed wher it was suppose to do in that particular day...sadly n deeply disappointed...yes, with frenz as well..those kind of spoon feed attitude, copy paste attitude....im so eager for helps in my studies dy, never thought i still need to help others. Im not somebody who do BIG things u know? i wanna help them but if ppl don wanna self help, there's nothing that i can do...but, juz to slowly lead them, hoping someday they will realize wat is the thing that they suppose to do~~~not worth spoil everything cause of few pieces of paper, i treasure them very much...juz, get furious easily cuz i do care bout them~
tmr start pc fair d er...gotta skip few important classes and have to complete loads of assignments plus reports....so lazy~~~~~~

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.

To realise the value of one year, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realise the value of one month, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of one week, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of one hour, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of one minute, ask a person who just missed a train.
To realise the value of one second, ask someone who just avoided an accident.
To realise the value of one millisecond, ask the person who won a silver medal at the olympics!

Treasuring every moment that i hv right now...it's simply a gift~

Slowing down....

Energy=currency of life??
Yes, money might make the world go round, but it's the energy that keeps the body hopping to the tune of life...Make no mistake about it, a life without energy is,technically, death. Even at the cellular level, energy is needed to fight off infections and break down toxins in the body. Most of us need to work to earn money, but all of us need to eat to get the energy we need to function every day.
Hence, procrastinating everything....recharging right now...

another interview again tmr.Hope they offer me something good~~if nt, i really wont know whether or not that's the thing that i want...

good luck for myself...and hv a good rest for better challenge! to all of u out ther as well..best of luck!!

Hopes and Dreams..

Met a girl today while working...grr.....can see all the dreams that i wanted is on her..she had all it takes,wanted to be tat way...know i could as long as i work on it too~~sad....anyhow,im heading towards another direction, holding and preserving others' dreams...when ppl say u're suppose to do tis and that,stick to the rules of life and u wil get a better life at the end,mayb even a very good one..well,pactically im one of the followers...couldnt abide the 'rules of life'...dont dare to tk the risk,moreover when u know hv an ability on it...how can u let it go isnt it??frankly speaking,mine was not as big compared to others...simple one but enough to satisfy me. But of course,very risky~kinda worry whether i will regret someday or not...trying to train myself to be a better me right now,cuz im know,its stil not the tim to go for it right now...i juz hv to be patient!when im ready,good things will come~~~right?

today..almost couldnt control myself,feel lk buying things again...terrible.....working for fashion life style company really drives me crazy.Anyway, i've seen so many ppl gals over ther,wearing very nice clothes.A very simple msg but important one to all the girls out there..remember to tk off ur price tags of ur heels b4 u start wearing it ok??it just the same lk u're wearing a shirt with the price tags,or holding a bags with the tags.Not very nice isnt it??

oh yea,tried another restaurant at pavilion...ichiban ramen~its too salty man!at the end couldnt stand it...so,complained to the waiter and did not finish up my food either...well,of course,i did it in a nice way la...ppl only will improve when they receive criticism isnt it??that's what i do believe...and that's why i always wanted ppl around me to think using their own thoughts,do and act correctly~well,if u add less salt mayb its a lot tastier,perhaps numbers of customers will b more in the end?basically doubt bout the taste buds of the chef...perhaps he din really even bother too~~those attitudes...sigh....shown by most malaysians.manalah boleh malaysia improve lk tat???forget bout it~~just kinda fed up cuz gv up my subway and went for such dish only..duh~~~wuahaha!been working for one n half months,most of my dinner is at subway...chic terriyaki~~~tried spicy italian once but still not as good..service is fast, and to me its healthier to eat that compared to others too.... J Co most ppl know d i guess..need not me to explain.. Tony Roma's....er, quite expensive,but can b known to b in the moderate level ba...the meat was really soft,some kind of feeling lk melts when u bite...but then,not hot enough,dunno y,not very nice to me..the size is big,as usual...wong kok..not bad only too,nothing much special to talk about.Wanted to try the desserts ther someday..think is the japanese one..not on working day of course~having desserts alone looks pity as well...Oh yea,there got one shop selling baos..special kind of baos..if its ok mayb will buy it on the last day of my work,keke!! To have lunch and dinner break is all im waiting for everyday in my work. Especially when i back to penang,working there...plenty plenty of dishes i miss so much! working at jusco wangsa,er...mostly the one i wil go is old town...yea,the boring old town~haha! each time also nasi lemak plus ice lemon tea plus a polo bun~~~grr..hungry ler~

k la,just back from work anyway...gtg~

stay tuned for more updates on subway...haha!!

tata~

~Way back into LoVE~~

I've been living with a shadow overhead

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I've been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on


I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need them again someday

I've been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love


I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs

I know that it's out there

There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction

And I'm open to your suggestions

I just wanna find my way back into love~~

Bad part of shuang..........

yea, i know human are not born to be perfect...we got good n bad side of us,of our heart...only depends how u control and wan urself to be...
shuang notice herself,bad part of herself...from what ppl used to say me right now is,asking too much for perfection...though i still dunno whether mine thought is right or theirs..but i do know everyone's degree of perfection is different, that's y there're contradictions...and i do know,what i wan from myself could not be what i wan others to be....i can see from ppl's eyes, ppl's thought...not very comfortable with that when i view it that way huh...mayb i shud juz b normal human being..hahax!

hmm,infected by flu today er.....though that day when i broke down,purposely made myself sick...but this is not i wanted,juz wanna hv fever ma...y gv me cough + flu??sad....
recovering soon~~
oh yea, by the way, met jing hong yesterday for movie with all my classmates...for the whole yr he's here in kl asked me out for so many times,tis is the only tim i met him..muahaha~~anyway,he grow up lu...thoughts n everything also more mature dy..juz like any others from jit sin...best of luck for him at england...!hope i can meet him b4 his flight at sept again..

don feel like working ler leh, cant learn anything from there anymore...not a very good behaviour..alwez do things half way...trying not to think so right now..juz wanna do wat i shall do..be passionate!!
no worry, be happy!~~

不明白。。。。

幸福永远对我很吝啬。。总爱在我身上计时。。
昨天虽然很开心，但不敢与其他人分享，因为我好害怕，这瞬间无法长久。。
但，为何事情还是会发生呢？？每当我有了，觉得一切都足够时，你总爱把它给夺走。。。
如果我的这一切需要代价，那我什么都不要了。。。
如果我是真的没资格开心，那给我个答案，我就不需要数次被受伤害。。。
心累了。。。坚强，逞强，不简单。。。。

To my dearest uncle and nephew....rest in peace....
when i got to know bout the death of my nephew,i couldnt control my tears..could u image a person,18 yrs old........pass away just like that??what is going to happen to his beloved father and mother who used to love him so so much?what will happen to his only brother that so used to his presence??life is sO fragile...guys,what i can say is,please appreciate every one around you...i cant help myself right now...tired dy...

To my cousin..hope she wont involve and announce unguilty by the court...

Everything will be alright....
i hope....

Convo today...good n bad~~~

At the very first point, dont really lk convo ceremony...the only thing which is important is the photography session tat wil then represents two yrs of ur study in diploma...Anyhow, met back arshana~~happy~~though din chat much, but at least get to see how she looks lk nowadays..kinda miss her presence at tarc. As usual,taken the scroll then tk pic n bac home....but,mood was spoil when bro say wanna back home earlier..ended up i din tk pic with group one students which r mostly meant all by my 2 yrs of study....n, my sis, which suppose to b the camera man din tk the pic well..sadly isnt it?its lk i go there for nothing....
but,surprisingly receive flower....should b the first time to get it from a guy,never expected it anyway~~kinda waste huh,don't und y girls like to receive flowers..but it's a matter of what the heart wanna speaks..thanks to u~

And, thanks to my mum n sis...i know they love me very much...

but,another thing that i don lk convo is.....i can see im lack of something at tis moment...n sometim,ppl do remind u cause they din know bout it...n made me dunno how to ans their ques...how great will that be if u are ther...where u can see this life that u've brought in to the world hv ad grown up to be a better person n she had graduated...where i can see ur smile n listen again u saying my results was not good but it's enough for u...u're happy with me...anyhow,u will alwez in my heart...daddy,i miss u....much!misses those days u tel stories bout how frog jump onto diff types of leaves and ask me to tel u again in ur shoulder,misses those days that u only keep quiet but supporting me from bhind,misses those days when i can say good night to u every night,misses those days u wake me up on weekends and,the way u wipe my tears when i cry...hmm...nvm ler~shuang wil stay tough~~~today wan happy happy de...!
din finish up my reports yet er,tmr need to work some more...plenty of stuf to b done...but,at tis point i feel very very grateful~mum going to buy me a new lappie tis mon ler...stil considering wan her to buy for me or not....mao dun~~~keke...k la,late late ler,better finish up my stuf~~nite nite~~~

A Talk by Ong Ka Ting

received a call this morning from ms Yap, asking me to go for a talk saying tat its compulsory..To what i thought,it's somethin related to the scholarships, they going to explain further, etc...
But, when i reached college hall only then i realized it's pack with ppl, impossible that they r all holders right? hmm...then sat down, msg chee yee only know we r suppose to b ther bcuz we represent something..well,no harm listening since im there~
it's a talk by Ong Ka Ting, the one who chose to gv up MCA after 308. Maybe to most of u he is a great man who can leads well and could do something very different than what we can do. But, the one i saw at that moment was like a man who had already tired of his life, already put away all his hopes and dreams...he was surely very very determined when he was young, firm and full of strengths and spirits~but is the one i saw still the same like what he was??

Anyhow..he did answered some questions and say few sentences which are still fresh in my mind...i.e. for example, when we ask, why izit so many politicians not doing their jobs well, not taking their responsibilities and are not as humble as we thought??? he said 'well, there's nothing to be blame..we cant blame the bad one, cause they are given a chance to do so...the one we have to blame, is the good one, who actually blif they have the ability to do something, or should say they really can do something to make a difference. They are the one who dont dare to step up and do something for the society, keeping quiet and standing aside makes the bad one tk them for granted.' true...when u know u can do something but just sit aside and stare at what's happening, why blame others for not doing a good job??

Apart from Tan Sri Ong, the one that really impressed me was the students..u know, how can they be so sensitive to the current issues and to raise out those queries that goes through their mind? how can they be so resourceful and daring?? but of course, most of them are mass com students as well as students from business school. I can hardly see any students from CB went there, not even that they know bout such talk too i guess~ im one of them anyway,keke!

Today finished up the morale presentation, din really do well~wonder where goes my memory cells..maybe its not activated for long time dy...stil, tryin my best to find the pause, i pause that i need~~

Great day,happy~~

Another starting point

When two person which has not much as what we say in mandarin '缘分‘ it will then make a big circle marry go round and back to the same point where things havent really started. When u reach this point, will u actually thought it's actually a waste of time to do all this?those heartache,tears,laughters,just nothing at the end. I draw my own circle of my life, and u get into that circle, but soon u just walk away without saying a words. Want everything back but u right now. On the journey, the way back into ~love~, need not necessarily what that is in your mind right now. In can be family, friends, or loving myself. Had someone scolded me coward because i dont dare to accept his love,neh,not really...long time not being single dy,mayb im not very good in rejecting someone ended up don't really wanna b his fren too ler~we can fall at times, what we have to do is stand up and be tougher and work harder.Nothing wrong when u do make mistakes but its wrong if u surrender so fast.Life still goes on...but i do wonder,lk what ms lim did said,now u both be together, think bout wat age u wanna get married and think bout how many yrs b4 u get married,will that actually works?kinda make sense for me...do change and learn something from each break,one teach me to study harder one teach me to work harder. Yea,work harder tis issue...its lk i cant pull the brake to ask myself to stop ler...been working while studyin for half yr dy,cant really control myself,though did promised myself to study and concentrate in adv year..someone might laughing at the other end,saying why i work and spend it's just like gaining nothing.true!but wrong as well...only i know what am i doing.though i don't really know what i wan deep down inside my heart,haha!but at least, at least i wanna try to do everythin,see where's my limit....saw one phrase saying 人是没有边缘的，除非你限制你自己..working for Tangs and attending lecturers still,quite boring leh...i wan more!more.....
Anyhow,working at Tangs will make us,most of us envy of their life style~what the customers have to do is just request it,or probably their responsibility is to help their parents to spend some money...life is certainly not fair isnt it??haha,cheers~~be happy no worries~

每朵花都有盛开的那一刻。我们是该共存。
它可能比你开的美多了。但，何人可以解释美是什么啊？
如果美的定义只有一个，有可能吗？
就如聪明的定义。。。考好成绩就是聪明？还是有法办赚最多的人才是？
过路人可能会为你浇水，为你施肥，有些会很忍心的把你的子叶给剪掉。
但，花依然会开~
帕孤单的我，依然害怕一个人。
没法咯，只好慢慢加油！

fall for this songs,by clay aiken,The Way...sharing it with all of u~

Theres something bout the way you look tonight, Theres something bout the way that i can't take my eyes off you. Theres
something bout the way your lips invite, maybe its the way that i get nervous when your around. And I want you to be mine
and if u need a reason why,

[Chorus:]
It's in the way that you move me, and the way that you tease me, the way that I want you tonight,
It's in the way that you hold me, and the way that you know me, when I can't find the right words to say,
You feel it in the way, you feel it in the way.

Theres something bout how you stay on my mind, theres something bout the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep Oh girl
no. Maybe its the look you get in your eyes. Oh baby its the way that makes me feel to see you smile. And the reasons they
may change but what i'm feeling stays the same.

[Chorus]

I can't put my fingers on just what it is that makes me love you, you baby.
So don't ask me to describe, I get all choked up inside, just thinking bout the way.

[Chorus]

There's something bout the way you look tonight.
There's nothing more to say then, I feel it in the way.